Timing is everything in life or at least that's what I say everytime I meet a girl that says she's not looking for a relationship only to find out that she started seeing someone else the next day. Which is why it's only fitting that just two weeks after Lost ended I've been reenergized with the return of three of my other favorite shows.
Returning first on MTV was the Real World/Road Rules Challenge which has run contestants through a Gauntlet and thrown others into an Inferno over the last few years. In this year's installment they have pulled a little bit of a twist taking the returning castmates and pairing them up with a whole new cast of fresh meat. Each alumni member now has a random person as their teammate and together they have to compete in two man teams to try and win $250,000. Personally, I would have preferred to see a repeat of last year's format or even a throwback to the original Real World vs. Road Rules format but this new twist is okay by me as well since it means that several new hotties have been introduced. And the casting department at MTV has certainly done a good job this time around with the likes of Casey, Ev, and Diem as proof of that.
Up next and debuting tonight as a matter of fact is the return of hardcore wrestling as the WWE brings back ECW as a brand several years after buying them out. I know it's not going to be the same as when it was a relatively unknown promotion based out of New York and Philadelphia with a cult like following. And if anyone can fuck this up, it's Vince McMahon and the WWE, who have already given the world the XFL. But I'm holding out hope that this brand can hold it's own and perhaps force the WWE to improve their own product through competition albeit under the pretense that the WWE is technically competing against itself and ultimately cannot lose.
And finally and probably most importantly this Sunday marks the return of Entourage on HBO. With the Sopranos sucking more than Ryan Seacrest in a gay bar HBO needs Entourage to carry it's ratings this summer. And with the success of its first two seasons behind it the suits at HBO would be smart to continue renewing this show for the forseeable future. With a great cast, original writing, and the best asshole on tv it doesn't get anybody than this. Except for Lost of course.
Thursday, June 08, 2006
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
Craig's Lists: Awkward Situations, Part 2
Last July I posted a list of awkward situations. I thought I had come up with most of the big ones but over the last few weeks I've begun to realize just how wrong I was. As such, here's a look at the original list with my latest additions:
The original list -
1. Trying to parallel park with someone sitting in the car behind where you'll wind up.
2. Having the sniffles or a cough during a big test.
3. Having your phone ring during an important meeting. Doubly awkward if it's set to a Kelly Clarkson ring tone.
4. A news caster waiting for an interviewee to say goodbye on tape delay so that they can move on but the interviewee just sitting there not knowing what to say.
5. Elevator ride after someone just ran for the elevator and you didn't try to hold it open for them.
6. Sitting in a room with someone else's friend after the mutual friend leaves the two of you alone.
7. Farting in front of strangers while in an enclosed area. (This also makes the Craigs list for funniest situational moments.)
8. Being on a date with nothing to talk about.
9. Going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from somebody you went to high school with.
10. Yelling at somebody in a fit of road rage and then being stuck next to that person at a red light.
11. While at Blockbuster having the clerk announce to everyone within ear shout that your rental of "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" is due back on Thursday.
12. Having to empty the contents of your carry on bag for everyone to see during a random security check at the airport. Doubly awkward if said contents include porno magazines, condoms, or sex toys.
And now for the new additions -
13. Getting off an elevator on the wrong floor and then having to get back on feeling like a jackass.
14. When somebody calls you by the wrong name and since you don't want the person to feel embarrassed you don't say anything and they just continue to call you by the wrong name for as long as you know them.
15. When you say something like, "I hate everything about Disney World." And the person you're talking to responds by saying, "I work at Disney World."
16. Being at a comedy club with somebody that you just started seeing and a comedian asks if there are any couples in the crowd and neither of you are sure if you should raise your hand or not.
17. When your parents meet your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents for the first time and alcohol is not involved.
18. When you call someone sir or maam and they're like, "what did you just call me?"
19. When you walk in on someone when they are masturbating.
20. When you are trying to avoid someone and they know that you are trying to avoid them and you know that they know.
21. When you are dancing like no one is watching and then realize that someone is watching.
The original list -
1. Trying to parallel park with someone sitting in the car behind where you'll wind up.
2. Having the sniffles or a cough during a big test.
3. Having your phone ring during an important meeting. Doubly awkward if it's set to a Kelly Clarkson ring tone.
4. A news caster waiting for an interviewee to say goodbye on tape delay so that they can move on but the interviewee just sitting there not knowing what to say.
5. Elevator ride after someone just ran for the elevator and you didn't try to hold it open for them.
6. Sitting in a room with someone else's friend after the mutual friend leaves the two of you alone.
7. Farting in front of strangers while in an enclosed area. (This also makes the Craigs list for funniest situational moments.)
8. Being on a date with nothing to talk about.
9. Going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from somebody you went to high school with.
10. Yelling at somebody in a fit of road rage and then being stuck next to that person at a red light.
11. While at Blockbuster having the clerk announce to everyone within ear shout that your rental of "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" is due back on Thursday.
12. Having to empty the contents of your carry on bag for everyone to see during a random security check at the airport. Doubly awkward if said contents include porno magazines, condoms, or sex toys.
And now for the new additions -
13. Getting off an elevator on the wrong floor and then having to get back on feeling like a jackass.
14. When somebody calls you by the wrong name and since you don't want the person to feel embarrassed you don't say anything and they just continue to call you by the wrong name for as long as you know them.
15. When you say something like, "I hate everything about Disney World." And the person you're talking to responds by saying, "I work at Disney World."
16. Being at a comedy club with somebody that you just started seeing and a comedian asks if there are any couples in the crowd and neither of you are sure if you should raise your hand or not.
17. When your parents meet your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents for the first time and alcohol is not involved.
18. When you call someone sir or maam and they're like, "what did you just call me?"
19. When you walk in on someone when they are masturbating.
20. When you are trying to avoid someone and they know that you are trying to avoid them and you know that they know.
21. When you are dancing like no one is watching and then realize that someone is watching.
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Shame(s) on You: Whole Lotta Shame
Could just be my sexual frustration talking but I'm mad at the world and need to take out my frustration on someone and these are the lucky bastards this time around:
1. People who got upset at Lastings Milledge - Give me a break and get off your high horse. If you were upset that a baseball player slapped high fives with fans on his way out to his position in between innings after hitting a homerun then you need to have that stick surgically removed from your ass. What he did was not showing up the other team. What he did was embracing the fans.
Showing up the other team would be standing at home plate and admiring the flight of the ball. Or perhaps flipping the bat and making a gesture as he rounded first base. Manny Ramirez for one shows up the other team almost every time he steps to the plate. And yet we don't take offense to that. Nor do we take offense every single time a player gets called out of his dugout for a curtain call. Apparently you can admire homeruns and come out for applause during the next batter's at bat but the one thing you can't do is shake hands with fans IN BETWEEN INNINGS. It's not like he pulled a Cal Ripken and did a victory lap during the game. It was in between innings.
Give the guy a break. He was just leaving a Lastings impression with the fans. Perhaps it will become his signature thing the way Sammy Sosa used to run out to the outfield. Sports need more people like Milledge and more fan friendly traditions like the Lambau Leap. What they don't need are unwritten rules and old time baseball traditionalists who don't know a good thing when it hits them over the head.
2. The suits at ESPN who decided that Roger Clemens pitching in a Single A baseball game was worthy of being televised over regular programming - Who are you to tell me what I want to watch. You decided to televise it because apparently there's a huge national interest in it. Well I think that there's only a huge national interest in it because you keep televising it.
This reminds me of when LeBron James' high school basketball games were being televised. Someone needs to draw a line of good taste and make sure that these executives don't cross it. Because I for one am sick and tired of being told what to watch.
3. Everything else - I could go on all day but since nobody wants to hear about yet another jewish guy complaining abou yet another thing I'll stop right here. But not before I give literal shout outs to FX for running a contest without any prize money, the State of Florida for always making me sick, and the executives at ABC for not making Lost a daily soap opera.
But on the bright side at least Entourage is back on Sunday!
1. People who got upset at Lastings Milledge - Give me a break and get off your high horse. If you were upset that a baseball player slapped high fives with fans on his way out to his position in between innings after hitting a homerun then you need to have that stick surgically removed from your ass. What he did was not showing up the other team. What he did was embracing the fans.
Showing up the other team would be standing at home plate and admiring the flight of the ball. Or perhaps flipping the bat and making a gesture as he rounded first base. Manny Ramirez for one shows up the other team almost every time he steps to the plate. And yet we don't take offense to that. Nor do we take offense every single time a player gets called out of his dugout for a curtain call. Apparently you can admire homeruns and come out for applause during the next batter's at bat but the one thing you can't do is shake hands with fans IN BETWEEN INNINGS. It's not like he pulled a Cal Ripken and did a victory lap during the game. It was in between innings.
Give the guy a break. He was just leaving a Lastings impression with the fans. Perhaps it will become his signature thing the way Sammy Sosa used to run out to the outfield. Sports need more people like Milledge and more fan friendly traditions like the Lambau Leap. What they don't need are unwritten rules and old time baseball traditionalists who don't know a good thing when it hits them over the head.
2. The suits at ESPN who decided that Roger Clemens pitching in a Single A baseball game was worthy of being televised over regular programming - Who are you to tell me what I want to watch. You decided to televise it because apparently there's a huge national interest in it. Well I think that there's only a huge national interest in it because you keep televising it.
This reminds me of when LeBron James' high school basketball games were being televised. Someone needs to draw a line of good taste and make sure that these executives don't cross it. Because I for one am sick and tired of being told what to watch.
3. Everything else - I could go on all day but since nobody wants to hear about yet another jewish guy complaining abou yet another thing I'll stop right here. But not before I give literal shout outs to FX for running a contest without any prize money, the State of Florida for always making me sick, and the executives at ABC for not making Lost a daily soap opera.
But on the bright side at least Entourage is back on Sunday!
Monday, June 05, 2006
Fwd: Brain Cramps
I'm always saying crazy things that make you shake your head. One of the best things that was ever said to me was by today's birthday girl, Leigh, who once said, "Craig, you make my head hurt." So, in honor of Leigh on her birthday here are some famous brain cramps as forwarded to me by my Aunt Giselle last week. Enjoy:
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kid all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields
"I''ve never had major knee surgery on any other par of my body,"
--Winston Bennett
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kid all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
--Mariah Carey
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"
--Brooke Shields
"I''ve never had major knee surgery on any other par of my body,"
--Winston Bennett
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"Half this game is ninety percent mental."
--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
--Dan Quayle
"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -
-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst
"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
--Keppel Enderbery
"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."
--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina
Sunday, June 04, 2006
Girlfriend of the Week: Evangeline Lilly
I bet you were all wondering what I was going to blog about now that Lost is over. Well, the answer is: Lost. That's because over the next few weeks I'm going to choose my favorite castaways as my girlfriends of the week.
Up first is the lead actress on the show, Evangeline Lilly, who plays Kate, a former convict who finds herself in the middle of a love triangle between Jack, the the good guy doctor, and Sawyer, the bad guy con artist. All this while actually dating a third character, Charlie, in real life. The weird part about that is that Jack's name on Party of Five was Charlie. (Real name, Matthew Fox) Confused?
Well you should be. This is Lost we're talking about after all.
Coming next week: Emilie de Ravin.
Up first is the lead actress on the show, Evangeline Lilly, who plays Kate, a former convict who finds herself in the middle of a love triangle between Jack, the the good guy doctor, and Sawyer, the bad guy con artist. All this while actually dating a third character, Charlie, in real life. The weird part about that is that Jack's name on Party of Five was Charlie. (Real name, Matthew Fox) Confused?
Well you should be. This is Lost we're talking about after all.
Coming next week: Emilie de Ravin.
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