David Eckstein Is On 'Roids and Other Absurd Sports Assertions

Okay, I lied about that one. But I do have a shocking claim to make about steriods in baseball. And you may want to sit down for this one for I'm about to suggest that the Sultan of Swat, George Herman Babe Ruth, used steriods back in the day.

Now you may be saying to yourself that I have no idea what I'm talking about since steriods weren't around until decades after the Bambino retired. But what if they were around? What if the Babe was given an experimental drug to try out? A drug that years later we would come to know as steriods. The way I see it such a scenario is certainly possible since the Babe hung out with unsavory characters. What if he was convinced by such characters to try out a new drug? After all, how else do you explain how someone who didn't work out and had horrible eating habits could hit the ball 600 feet and hit more homeruns by himself than entire teams were hitting in a supposed dead ball era?

The next assertion that I want to make is in honor of the World Cup that is completely galvanizing the attention of the entire world right now. In other words it's like a real life Quidditch. Which is why I think that it should be used to settle world disputes. If it can bring peace to the Ivory Coast then why not to the Middle East? What if we chose to settle the War on Terror not on American soil nor Iraqi battlefields but rather on a soccer field? What if troop withdrawal in Iraq wasn't decided by a Congressional resolution but by a penalty kick? Who needs a shootout on the streets of Baghdad when you can have a shootout on the soccer field to decided things. If it was up to me I would take the U.S. soccer team and pit them against the Iraqi team and if the U.S. wins Iraq installs a democratic government and if Iraq wins the U.S. withdraws and Iraq is left to their own governing devices. Now that's a soccer match even I would watch.

If you want to read about even more absurd sports assertions, such as the fact that the UFC is fixed, then check back next week when I talk about that and how the World Series of Poker should be an Olympic event. After all, some ideas are so crazy that they might just work.