The Amazingly True Adventures of Patches Fitzpatrick

There is a man who lives at 32 Darden Lane. Some would say that he is the ideal man. Quiet and unassuming yet assertive he has a way about him that alludes to an inner confidence. A former second lieutenant in the U.S. Army he is loyal to a fault and exactly the kind of guy that you want to have your back in battle. Women adore him and men are envious of him.

He didn't just live his life. He went out and got after it. Chased it down until he had every aspect of it under control. Perfect credit score. Ferrari parked in the driveway. Beautiful women coming and going at all hours of the night. According to Mrs. Clover, the resident town gossiper and know-it-all, he had even been known to date a few celebrities. He was in fact, almost a celebrity himself. At least of the local variety. Everyone in town either knew him, knew of him, or wanted to know more about him.

I would like to be able to say that he kept his friends close and his enemies closer. But it's hard to imagine him having any enemies. You would be hard pressed to find someone who could say anything bad about him. After all, what's not to like about a guy who runs a six minute mile, took three months off from his job to help build homes in New Orleans during the aftermath of Katrina, and who volunteers every Sunday morning at a nursing home running a seminar that he created entitled "putting getting old on hold".

If the human race decided to clone one person, it's safe to say that this man would get a majority of the votes. His life was the kind of life that everyone else wishes they could have. The kind of life that you read about in books or watch in movies. No one actually ever does all of the things that he did. No one actually plays airport roulette and gets on the first flight to Europe that opens up. No one that is, except for this man.

If it can be done, he's probably done it. And most likely done it well. He probably has a thousand stories to tell about his life. About where he's been, what he's done, and where he's going. Stories that could enthrawl and entertain and make the imagination work overtime. But unfortunatley I am not here to tell his story. As intersting as it is it's going to have to wait for another day. For another author to come along perhaps.

Rather I'm here to tell the story of the man who lives at 33 Darden Lane. A man who to say the least, is decidely less interesting than the man who lives at 32 Darden Lane. I'm here to tell the story of one, Patches Fitzpatrick.