Shames on Shames: Having Fun

Barry Bonds isn't the only person who can have his own platform from where he self promotes and gives his side of the story. Thanks to blogger.com now I can have my own forum as well. Which is why all week long I'll be giving you all a rare introspective look at my inner thoughts as only I can. It's everything you ever wanted to know about Craig Shames from the man himself.

Up today, Shames on having fun:

Thursday night while driving an hour and a half to an area hotspot in South Florida known as Riverfront it dawned on me. Thousands of people would be driving long distances like myself to converge on this one strip of bars, Florida's own version of Landsdowne or Bourbon Street.

They would be coming from all parts of Florida. From Fort Lauderdale, West Palm Beach, and Boca Raton, to Carol Springs, Deerfield Beach, and everywhere in between. From all over Broward County they would be coming out of the proverbial woodwork in pursuit of a good time.
Perhaps they were on spring break. Or perhaps they were just looking to let loose after a long week at work. Or maybe, just maybe, they were just looking to live their lives without regret. Whatever their motivation was, they were there, out in full force, looking to get drunk, high, and laid in no particular order.

And it was on this night that I began to question why. Why would these people travel from miles and miles away just to go to this one place. To get drunk? To hang out with their friends? To get laid? To meet people? To give me something to blog about?

I thought about reasons why all night long but couldn't place my finger on it. Can't these people drink in their own apartments? Certainly it would be much cheaper. No money spent on gas, tolls, parking, drinks, or tips. And yet people feel as though they have to go out to their local dive in order to drink amongst others.

If that's the case though, if it's all about the company, then why not just invite your friends over? I find it very rare when I go out that people mingle outside of their group. I would say that a good 80% of the people that are out on a given night are just going to spend the majority of their time talking to their own circle of friends. They'll sit out a table together or dance in a circle together. What's the point of dropping $100 a night if you're just going to do what you could do in the comfort of your own apartment?

The only legimitate reason I could think of for going out, for driving long distances to get to hot spots, for going out socially is to try and get laid. That's the only reason. And yet on any given night I would say that 99% of the people go home empty handed. The majority of people will strike out or maybe if they're lucky get a phone number. But is that 1% chance you have of meeting someone really worth sitting in traffic for an hour? Really worth dropping half your paycheck on a bar tab? Really worth standing like a pickle in a jar in some stuffy dive that overcharges for drinks?

I'd much rather try to meet someone on a dating service or the old fashioned way, through friends or when you run into someone out doing errands. Chances are I wouldn't even want to bring home a girl I meet in a bar because in today's day and age you just don't know what you're dealing with. Even with protection having sex with a girl you just met is crazy. You need the proper time to conduct an extensive background check. Okay, well maybe not that extensive but you should get to know the person first. Point being, going out to try and get laid isn't even worth it.

So, I ask you once again what's the point of going out? Why not just drink in your apartment, with your friends? It would save money and you'd probably have a better time. I don't need to go out to have a good time. I don't need to get wasted to enjoy the company I'm with. I especially don't need to conform with society and get wasted like all the other assclowns are doing.

Think about it. We're supposedly this advanced civilization and yet our concept of fun is getting so drunk that we have to throw up the next morning. And I don't get that. Why do people want to drink to the point of making themselves sick? How is that fun? Bar fights, DUI's, hangovers, alcohol poisoning, liver failure, etc. The list goes on and on. And yet the majority of people look past all of that. They don't consider the after affects of going out. They just think about the here and now and how what they want to do at that moment is get to an artificial state that only liquor can bring them do. Is there any point to that?

Shouldn't we have evolved to the point where we can find more constructive things to do with our down time? There has got to be an a better way to let loose and have fun that doesn't involve peeing every five minutes once the seal is broken as they say. A way that doesn't involve saying things you're going to regret after drunk dialing a loved one. A way that doesn't involve losing consciousness.

So until we as a society evolve to that point I'm hear to announce that I will no longer be going out. And this isn't one of those empty promises you make when you're hungover and you say that you're never going to drink ever again. I'm actually saying that I will never go out to another bar and I mean it. Okay, well knowing me I will probably be out with Brian at Riverfront this weekend. But that's only because I just moved here and still want to meet people. Once I get settled here I will make sure that I never go out ever again! And you can take that to the bank. Along with the $5 left over from your last paycheck.

*Coming tomorrow - Shames on holidays.