Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

Is there anything more frantic that those five minutes that you have to clean out your car with the gas station vacuum? I work harder in those five minutes than I do all week.

Don't you hate it when you think of something witty to say after the moment has already passed? It'll be like two weeks later and the comeback will finally come to you and you'll be like, 'dammit, why couldn't I have thought about that then!'

That happens to me all the time. The other day I was at the post office mailing a package and they asked me if I wanted to take out insurance. I said no thanks but what I should have said was, "well that depends. Do you plan on losing it?" On second thought maybe it's better to say nothing.

How dumb is everyone who worked at the Daily Planet? Are you trying to tell me that no one could tell that Clark Kent was Superman? They look exactly the same! The only difference was a pair of black glasses! That has got to be the worst disguise of all time. Furthermore, how come nobody was able to tell that he was wearing a blue cape under his outfit? I'm pretty sure that if he ever wore a light colored shirt to work that people would be able to tell that he was wearing something else underneath. And wouldn't he sweat a lot wearing all those layers everyday? Plus, does he have to do laundry everyday or does he have a whole closet full of capes?

One of the talk show hosts on ESPN radio had the line of the week when he said that David Ortiz has no shot at winning the all star game homerun derby unless they put runners on base and tell him that the game is on the line.

There's an ideas festival this week in Aspen, Colorado in which leading thinkers from around the world get together for a series of seminars and lectures to discuss world problems. I must be really immature because this is a really important event and I couldn't look at the website www.aspeninstitute.org without focusing on the fact that it includes the word penis.