There are a lot of things I have to do before I die which is why I'm always making to do lists. I just made one for things I wanted to do in New York before I left and now it's time to make one for things I want to do in Florida.
One of the those things that I've always wanted to do was water sports and since they are prominent in Florida now was the perfect time to do them. Anything and everything from jet skiing to water skiing would be acceptable just as long as it took place on the water and involved going really, really fast.
I got my wish on Sunday when I drove up to Orlando to meet up with Tommy before he left for a tour of duty overseas. From there we made our way to Clearwater beach which is on the west coast of the state with his girlfriend and her friend. Upong arriving we decided to cross something off my list and go on jet skis or in this case wave runners. Sounded like a good idea in theory but I must have forgotten that Tommy is a few floats short of a parade. This kid drives a jet ski like someone from Pakistan drives a taxi cab in New York City.
After scaring his girlfriend shitless with a 60 mph thrill ride she wanted nothing to do with his antics and throw him off into the ocean. He wanted me to come over and pick him up but I was reluctant to do so because I know that it meant that I would soon be the one crying for help. Eventually I made my way over to Tommy and scooped him up like they do in the movies and took off.
I tried to last as long as I could but eventually my wrist started to hurt from holding down the throttle for so long and I knew that I had no choice but to let Tommy drive. Big mistake. He got behind the wheel and tore off towards Mexico. After about five minutes of jumping waves and doing figure eights he got too cocky and cut a turn too quickly. We tipped over at 50 mph and went flying into the ocean. He quickly came to and started to make his way towards the wave runner. On the other hand I started panicking, flalling my arms frantically, yelling out that I was drowning. Of course I had a life jacket on and wasn't but that that didn't stop me from calling out for help like a little bitch.
Eventually I came to and got back on the waverunner and told Tommy that I was driving from now on. After a few more minutes we made our way back to the docking station and made our way back to the beach. Before we did though we stopped in the water and waited for the ladies to get off of their machine. At that point the next person got on the machine we were using and gunned it shooting hundreds of gallons of water directly into Tommy's face! It was honestly the funniest thing I have ever seen. My only regrets are that we didn't get it on video and that it didn't happen to me.
*Tune in tomorrow to find out what else is on my Floridian to do list.
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