Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

I'm not afraid to admit that I kind of like MTV"s new show, 'Yo Mamma'. The premise is that you get two people to get head to head telling mom jokes or just jokes that rag on the other person. It's like a rap battle minus the beat. You basically are just trading one liners back and forth and it's surprisingly good. I thought about it for a while and one of my favorite yo mamma jokes that I came up with was, "your mom's tits sag so much that the Screen Actor's Guild just chose her as their first spokesperson." Bada bing!

Chris Berman had the line of the week during the NFL Draft when after the Giants picked Boston College Defensive End Mathius Kiwanuka saying that along with Usi Umeniyora they now have a great team for scrabble.

If the last name Armas means weapons in Spanish is it safe to say that Washington Nationals pitcher Tony Armas has a cannon for an arm?

Speaking of baseball, I love when the St. Louis Cardinals come to town to play the Marlins. That's because I can go around the bars trying to pick up girls while pretending to be Cardinals shortstop David Eckstein.

This week was Fleet Week in South Florida which reminded me of the time I got screwed over by a bunch of Sailors. I was back in New York at my cousin's graduation party from college and all her hot sorority friends were there. I was the only guy in his 20's there so I was a lock to be the center of attention. Just as I'm about to make my move I hear all this commotion at the front of the yard where 6 Sailors just came out of the woodwork wearing full dress uniforms and carrying bouquets of roses. Apparently, my Aunt was sponsoring some Sailors who were from out of town and didn't know anyone in the area. After that I didn't even bother trying to talk to the girls. Stupid Sailors. Find your own Bettys! Those were mine!

While at the Marlins game on Friday night I was trying to convince Brian that I would make a great major league scout. I even told him that I could look at the little kids in the crowd and identify which ones would become athletes. I saw one kid climbing all over his seat, jumping up and down, and I said that kid is going to play soccer because he has so much restless energy and likes to run around. Then I saw a little girl fascinated by the Marlins cheerleaders and I just knew that she would want to be one when she got older. Eventually, Brian and I both spotted this kid with his back to the field. He was more interested in playing with this Marlins flag that his parents had gotten him. I looked at Brian and said now there's a kid who won't be an athlete.