Sunday, June 08, 2008

Celebrity Train Wrecks: The Next Generation

I recently did a temp assignment for a financial company. I was expecting things to be very hectic and fast paced and yet amongst all the stress one of the guys there still found the time to lament the rise and fall of Lindsay Lohan. He referred to her as a train wreck which got me thinking: there sure are a lot of train wrecks just waiting to happen in Hollywood these days. Here's a look at some of the young up and coming stars in Hollywood and the fates that may be awaiting them.

1. Miley Cyrus: Controversy has already engulfed this Disney channel meal ticket after she posed half naked for a Vanity Fair photoshoot. Her innocent image tarnished this could be the beginning of the end for Hannah Montana mania. (Thank God).

The truth is her incredible run had to end sometime and unless she can launch into a successful signing career she's going to have a lot of time on her hands to lament would could have been. Lamenting leads to acting out against expectations leads to hardcore partying lifestyle. (See Spears, Brittany).


Most likely to: be found back home in Tennessee strung out on hard drugs.





Artsy or provacative? You be the judge.

2. Emma Watson: She may play Hermione Granger on the big screen but this Harry Potter star is far from a goody two shoe. In fact, quite the opposite has been true over the last few years as Watson has been caught engaging in underage drinking on several occassions. Unless the drinking age in England is 15 she's been up to no good and it's safe to say that the trend should continue as the media attention intensifies.


Most likely to: appear nude in a magazine or movie.




Hey Emma, is that beer or Pollyjuice potion?

3. Jaime Lynn Spears: This train has already left the station. About six months ago to be exact when word came out that she was pregnant. Why am I not surprised? Probably because her role model is older sister Brittany who is the poster child for starlets gone wild after her recent string of mental breakdowns. There could still be hope for Jaime Lynn if she can learn from Britney's mistakes but that would be a bigger miracle than me marrying Natalie Portman.

Most likely to be: In and out of rehab while battling for custody of her child.




"I'm a trainwreck"

4. Kardashian sisters: And I'm not even talking about the three sisters currently starring on E's show Keeping Up With The Kardashians. I'm talking about their younger sisters who appeared in a recent episode poll dancing and pretending they were on a girls gone wild video. The girls were 9 and 11 years old at the time. Check out the video here: http://www.hollywoodgrind.com/kim-kardashians-little-sister-does-girls-gone-wild-video/


Most likely to: appear in an actual Girls Gone Wild video.





The apple doesn't fall far from the stripper pole....

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Emma Watson isn't what you predict she'll be.

Anonymous said...

i have not read your blog in like a year and its not b/c its not funny its b/c i am busy but you continue to deliver as witty and funny. perhaps i will have to free up time in the life to read your stuff again. glad to see the page is back up.
-brian