After going out in NYC during Halloween weekend for the first time on Saturday night my sentiments about the holiday have changed. Earlier in the week I hated the holiday mostly because I hated the idea of getting dressed up and making a complete ass out of myself.
Not that I mind the attention. Trust me, I crave attention. I just mind feeling stupid which is exactly how I would have felt if I had worn some of the costumes I had considered. As it were I went as a construction worker and still felt pretty stupid. I had also worried about being around so many drunken assclowns who would be out just looking for trouble.
However, my uneasiness was quickly overshadowed by the good mood that all the eye candy put me in. After seeing dozens of girls wearing skimpy schoolgirl, angel, devil, cop, and nurse outfits, Halloween, it's safe to say, is my new favorite holiday. Just so long as I don't have to wear any silly costumes. Which kind of makes Halloween a lot like a nude beach. You'd go just as long as you don't have to join in.
Other Halloween thoughts:
When did it become a week long holiday? This year since it fell on a Monday you had people going out on Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, and Monday. What's up with that?
When did it become so cool? It has clearly replaced New Year's Eve as the party event of the year.
When did we get too old to trick or treat? Was it going into 7th grade? Into high school? Into college? Can anybody pin point the age?
Why don't homeless people go trick or treating? Isn't it a way for them to get free food?
One of the most creative costumes I've ever seen had to have been Russell going as upside down man. It stole the show at this party on Saturday night. (Pictures coming soon)
Best family costume: The Incredibles.
Monday, October 31, 2005
Sunday, October 30, 2005
Gamers Split Versus Shockers
Lynbrook, NY - The Gamers flexed their offensive muscle early on in easily defeating the Shockers 20-8 in the first game of a doubleheader that marked their return to action after nearly a month of inactivity. However, their bats went cold towards the end of the second game as they disappointingly dropped a game they could have won, 17-18.
In the first game the Gamers benefitted from being handed a season high 7 walks, including 2 each for leadoff hitting random peep, Mark Wan, and pitcher Craig Shames. With so many runners on base, sluggers like Rob Rathbun, John Schultz, Ian Zeigler, and Kale Buckley were able to take advantage with homeruns including a grand slam by Schultz. Rob Roll added 3 hits, Scott Zimmerman 2, and Scotty Goldsmith and Zac Nicholson one a piece as the Gamers collected 18 base knocks in the game.
In the second game, the Gamers had a six run second inning and 7 run third inning to take an early 13-10 lead. Their lead wouldn't last long though as the Shockers put together a 7 run rally in their half of the fourth inning to take a two run lead. The Gamers came back right away with a 2 run double by Craig Shames that tied the game in the bottom half of the inning. But they wouldn't score over the final two innings as the Shockers got successive doubles in the top of the seventh inning for the winning margin.
Offensively, the Gamers were lead by Scott Goldsmith who went 3 for 4 with a grand slam, Brian Malfettone (3 for 4, 3 runs scored), Craig Shames (3 for 3, 5 rbis), Scott Zimmerman (2 for 3, 2 rbis), and John Schultz 3 for 4 with 2 rbis. Both Rob Roll and Rob Rathbun chipped in two hits including a homerun for Roll and Mark Wan scored two runs.
But unfortunately the Gamers were ultimately undone by baserunning gaffes and the field conditions as three runners were gunned down trying to take extra bases and slugger Ian Ziegler hit three foul ball homeruns that were automatic outs including one that landed on the front windshield of a passing car.
The Gamers (7-3) who have alredy clinched a playoff spot and in all likelihood the number 3 seed will conclude the regular season next week when they meet the Game Face for the second time this year.
In the first game the Gamers benefitted from being handed a season high 7 walks, including 2 each for leadoff hitting random peep, Mark Wan, and pitcher Craig Shames. With so many runners on base, sluggers like Rob Rathbun, John Schultz, Ian Zeigler, and Kale Buckley were able to take advantage with homeruns including a grand slam by Schultz. Rob Roll added 3 hits, Scott Zimmerman 2, and Scotty Goldsmith and Zac Nicholson one a piece as the Gamers collected 18 base knocks in the game.
In the second game, the Gamers had a six run second inning and 7 run third inning to take an early 13-10 lead. Their lead wouldn't last long though as the Shockers put together a 7 run rally in their half of the fourth inning to take a two run lead. The Gamers came back right away with a 2 run double by Craig Shames that tied the game in the bottom half of the inning. But they wouldn't score over the final two innings as the Shockers got successive doubles in the top of the seventh inning for the winning margin.
Offensively, the Gamers were lead by Scott Goldsmith who went 3 for 4 with a grand slam, Brian Malfettone (3 for 4, 3 runs scored), Craig Shames (3 for 3, 5 rbis), Scott Zimmerman (2 for 3, 2 rbis), and John Schultz 3 for 4 with 2 rbis. Both Rob Roll and Rob Rathbun chipped in two hits including a homerun for Roll and Mark Wan scored two runs.
But unfortunately the Gamers were ultimately undone by baserunning gaffes and the field conditions as three runners were gunned down trying to take extra bases and slugger Ian Ziegler hit three foul ball homeruns that were automatic outs including one that landed on the front windshield of a passing car.
The Gamers (7-3) who have alredy clinched a playoff spot and in all likelihood the number 3 seed will conclude the regular season next week when they meet the Game Face for the second time this year.
Saturday, October 29, 2005
Week In Review
Random thoughts from the last week:
Sometimes I like to walk around with a can of soda in a brown paper bag so that people think I'm drinking beer.
I think that everybody knows of at least one person who, while in college, took a crap in somebody's sock drawer at a party.
I hate people who ask someone to rate something on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the highest. 1 is not the highest! 10 is the highest!
Did you know that there is a Lt. Shames on HBO's former series, Band of Brothers? The funny thing is that there's this one scene where he gets all stressed out and starts yelling out everybody, which sounds a lot like something I would do.
What's up with people who use baby strollers to carry their purchases when they go shopping? Haven't these people ever heard of shopping carts?
PTI's Tony Kornheiser had the line of the week when commenting about that inmate who extended his 30 year sentence to 33 years in honor of Larry Bird, he said, "I guess it's a good thing that he's not a Wayne Gretzky fan."
My mom had a great line too when I asked her about why she was rooting against the Astros in the World Series: "They're from Bush Country."
And my barber almost made me die of laughter when after his wife hung up on him to take a call from her sister he called the sister so that his wife would get put on hold.
Do you think that when people come to Oceanside and find out that it's not next to the Ocean they're disappointed? What about when people go to Garden City and realize it's not a city nor does it contain a garden.
Do people really think that if they preface an insult with the words, "in all due respect" that the person won't get as mad?
The WNBA's Sheryl Swopes has come out as professional sports first openly gay player. And who said women's sports weren't interesting?
Speaking of being gay, Brian, Russell, Joanne, and I went out to this bar in Long Beach on Saturday night and after about 15 minutes realized that we were in a gay bar. I've never seen Russell pound a beer faster. Brian however, took his time because he said he really liked the music. Um. No comment.
Sometimes I like to walk around with a can of soda in a brown paper bag so that people think I'm drinking beer.
I think that everybody knows of at least one person who, while in college, took a crap in somebody's sock drawer at a party.
I hate people who ask someone to rate something on a scale of 1-10, 1 being the highest. 1 is not the highest! 10 is the highest!
Did you know that there is a Lt. Shames on HBO's former series, Band of Brothers? The funny thing is that there's this one scene where he gets all stressed out and starts yelling out everybody, which sounds a lot like something I would do.
What's up with people who use baby strollers to carry their purchases when they go shopping? Haven't these people ever heard of shopping carts?
PTI's Tony Kornheiser had the line of the week when commenting about that inmate who extended his 30 year sentence to 33 years in honor of Larry Bird, he said, "I guess it's a good thing that he's not a Wayne Gretzky fan."
My mom had a great line too when I asked her about why she was rooting against the Astros in the World Series: "They're from Bush Country."
And my barber almost made me die of laughter when after his wife hung up on him to take a call from her sister he called the sister so that his wife would get put on hold.
Do you think that when people come to Oceanside and find out that it's not next to the Ocean they're disappointed? What about when people go to Garden City and realize it's not a city nor does it contain a garden.
Do people really think that if they preface an insult with the words, "in all due respect" that the person won't get as mad?
The WNBA's Sheryl Swopes has come out as professional sports first openly gay player. And who said women's sports weren't interesting?
Speaking of being gay, Brian, Russell, Joanne, and I went out to this bar in Long Beach on Saturday night and after about 15 minutes realized that we were in a gay bar. I've never seen Russell pound a beer faster. Brian however, took his time because he said he really liked the music. Um. No comment.
Friday, October 28, 2005
Fearless Football Predictions: Week 8
With Hurricane Wilma affecting South Florida my only hope of catching Brian is if his power is out and he can't get online to make his picks. Chasing 9 and running out of time I'm going with:
Giants over the Redskins: The Redskins D is tight but you don't mess with a team inspired by the loss of a key figure like the Giants will be this week after their owner Wellington Mara passed away a few days ago. Expect the Giants to come out fired up on both sides of the ball and win easily.
Bengals over the Packers: The Bengals should get back on track against the injury depleted Packers after losing their showdown to the Steelers. Expect a big day for the Bengals big three.
Lions over the Bears: Lions and Bears and a horrible match up oh my. The Bears are the new Ravens but the Lions could steal a win if they're sparked offensively by having Jeff Garcia as their new QB.
Vikings over the Panthers: The Vikings are touchdown underdogs but they should be inspired after their comeback win last week against the Packers. The Panthers are the better team but the Vikings could be dangerous with their season on the line.
Raiders over the Titans: The Raiders should ride RB Lamont Jordan to the win against a Titans team that could be without QB Steve McNair.
Cardinals over the Cowboys: The 'Boys will be heavy favorites but they just jettisoned their kicker and will be without RB Julius Jones which should allow the Cardinals to pull off the upset and start playing up to their improved level.
Texans over the Browns: Yet another game I'm going for the upset on. The Texans are winless but could beat the offensively challenged Browns if they can just protect QB David Carr.
Saints over the Dolphins: Why stop with the Texans when I can also pick the Saints. They're up and down but could be up against the overrated Dolphins at "home".
Jaguars over the Rams: The Rams could be without their QB and top WR so the Jags should have a great chance to win this game rather easily.
Chargers over the Cheifs: I'm scared to think about what LaDanian Tomlinson will do a week after getting shut down by the Eagles. How does 250 yards and 3 touchdowns sound?
Bucs over the 49ers: The 49ers suck. Enough said.
Broncos over the Eagles: The Broncos will be looking to bounce back after losing to the Giants in the final seconds. On the other hand the Eagles are coming off a good win over the Chargers. What will give? Probably the Eagles secondary.
Patriots over the Bills: See Giants over the Redskins. Don't miss with inspiration. The return of LB Tedy Bruschi to practice could be just that for the Patriots not that they needed any extra motivation. Plus the Pats are coming off the bye and the extra game planning always suits Bill Belichick just fine.
Steelers over the Ravens: The Ravens are done and the Steelers are going to the AFC Championship game. Who do you think I'm picking?
Giants over the Redskins: The Redskins D is tight but you don't mess with a team inspired by the loss of a key figure like the Giants will be this week after their owner Wellington Mara passed away a few days ago. Expect the Giants to come out fired up on both sides of the ball and win easily.
Bengals over the Packers: The Bengals should get back on track against the injury depleted Packers after losing their showdown to the Steelers. Expect a big day for the Bengals big three.
Lions over the Bears: Lions and Bears and a horrible match up oh my. The Bears are the new Ravens but the Lions could steal a win if they're sparked offensively by having Jeff Garcia as their new QB.
Vikings over the Panthers: The Vikings are touchdown underdogs but they should be inspired after their comeback win last week against the Packers. The Panthers are the better team but the Vikings could be dangerous with their season on the line.
Raiders over the Titans: The Raiders should ride RB Lamont Jordan to the win against a Titans team that could be without QB Steve McNair.
Cardinals over the Cowboys: The 'Boys will be heavy favorites but they just jettisoned their kicker and will be without RB Julius Jones which should allow the Cardinals to pull off the upset and start playing up to their improved level.
Texans over the Browns: Yet another game I'm going for the upset on. The Texans are winless but could beat the offensively challenged Browns if they can just protect QB David Carr.
Saints over the Dolphins: Why stop with the Texans when I can also pick the Saints. They're up and down but could be up against the overrated Dolphins at "home".
Jaguars over the Rams: The Rams could be without their QB and top WR so the Jags should have a great chance to win this game rather easily.
Chargers over the Cheifs: I'm scared to think about what LaDanian Tomlinson will do a week after getting shut down by the Eagles. How does 250 yards and 3 touchdowns sound?
Bucs over the 49ers: The 49ers suck. Enough said.
Broncos over the Eagles: The Broncos will be looking to bounce back after losing to the Giants in the final seconds. On the other hand the Eagles are coming off a good win over the Chargers. What will give? Probably the Eagles secondary.
Patriots over the Bills: See Giants over the Redskins. Don't miss with inspiration. The return of LB Tedy Bruschi to practice could be just that for the Patriots not that they needed any extra motivation. Plus the Pats are coming off the bye and the extra game planning always suits Bill Belichick just fine.
Steelers over the Ravens: The Ravens are done and the Steelers are going to the AFC Championship game. Who do you think I'm picking?
Thursday, October 27, 2005
What Should I Hallo-wear?
There are only three guarantees in life: death, taxes, and my inability to come up with a Halloween costume idea each year.
Usually my ineptitude prevents me from even getting into the Halloween spirit or going to costume parties since no one other than Russell buys it when I tell them that I'm going as John Carpenter from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
That's why this year I'm determined to come up with a good costume. Here are some of my ideas:
1. Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean - it's fitting since it's my favorite movie of all time and going as Kiera Knightley would just be weird. Plus my corset is in the wash. But knowing me I wouldn't be able to pull the look off and would instead come across looking like that pirate wannabe from Dodgeball.
2. Harry Potter or any other animinated/fictional character I get compared to: Going on Halloween as somone you look like is a way for your life to come full cycle. Which is why I told Brian M. to go as Ralph Macchio from the Karate Kid or as Ross from Friends. But I'm not sure I want to go to a party wearing the same thing as millions of 8 year olds.
3. Alex Rodriguez - I could get an AROD jersey and pull off the look rather easily but I don't want to spend the whole night with my hands around my neck.
Any other suggestions?
Usually my ineptitude prevents me from even getting into the Halloween spirit or going to costume parties since no one other than Russell buys it when I tell them that I'm going as John Carpenter from Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.
That's why this year I'm determined to come up with a good costume. Here are some of my ideas:
1. Johnny Depp from Pirates of the Caribbean - it's fitting since it's my favorite movie of all time and going as Kiera Knightley would just be weird. Plus my corset is in the wash. But knowing me I wouldn't be able to pull the look off and would instead come across looking like that pirate wannabe from Dodgeball.
2. Harry Potter or any other animinated/fictional character I get compared to: Going on Halloween as somone you look like is a way for your life to come full cycle. Which is why I told Brian M. to go as Ralph Macchio from the Karate Kid or as Ross from Friends. But I'm not sure I want to go to a party wearing the same thing as millions of 8 year olds.
3. Alex Rodriguez - I could get an AROD jersey and pull off the look rather easily but I don't want to spend the whole night with my hands around my neck.
Any other suggestions?
Wednesday, October 26, 2005
Shame(s) on You: Whole Lot of Shame
So many things going on that I want to rip on that I couldn't pick just one. Instead here are my takes on a variety of issues:
1. Educational System: There's gotta be something wrong with the American educational system when you can spend $100,000 for a bachelors degree and can still be underqualified for an entry level position. If getting a master's degree is so imperative why offer bachelor's degrees at all? Or why not offer 5 or 6 year joint degree programs across the board?
2. Bud Bashing: Major League Baseball's front office needs a series overhaul. All of a sudden somebody decides to close the roof at Minute Maid Park for the World Series after leaving it up to the Astros all year, including throughout the postseason, to decide when to close it. If it's such an unfair advantage I'm sure the Braves and Cardinals would have wanted MLB to have it open during the entire postseason. Why close it now? And isn't the fact that it provides an advantage all the more reason to have it closed? Isn't that the point of playing in your home park? Why not just play all the World Series game in neutral sites from now on so that neither team has an edge in any of the games if it's such a problem? From ending all star games in ties to banning Pete Rose from the game but not steriod users, does anybody in MLB have a clue?
3. Weather forecasters: Like in that upcoming Nicholas Cage movie I wish that somebody would throw something at these guys. All they do is hype up every storm as a "Nor'easter", creating mass hysteria. Sometimes I think these guys own a majority stake in Waldbaums since such hype always leads people to stock up on groceries. Then when there's a really bad storm, like the one that flooded my basement, they don't even mention the fact that it's one of the worst storms in history until like a week later when they find out just how much damage was done. And speaking of history these guys still think that this year's bad weather is just a historically bad year. No one seems to realize that it's not a bad year, it's the start of a period of bad years, as the planet's climate changes. Get it right people!
4. ABC is 'Lost': And finally the thing that bothers me most of all are the idiots who run ABC. Every year they stop a run away hit show like Lost after a few episodes to go back and reair the last few so that everyone can catch up. That accomplishes nothing other than to kill the show's momentum and buzz, turning viewers off. If they wanted people to catch up they should reair the previous week's show right before the new one, in a 2 hour block, or air that week's episode later in the week like on a Saturday night when there's nothing else on. Maybe even a Lost marathon once a month, for four hours, on a Sunday afternoon. Instead these morons kill the best thing they had going for them.
1. Educational System: There's gotta be something wrong with the American educational system when you can spend $100,000 for a bachelors degree and can still be underqualified for an entry level position. If getting a master's degree is so imperative why offer bachelor's degrees at all? Or why not offer 5 or 6 year joint degree programs across the board?
2. Bud Bashing: Major League Baseball's front office needs a series overhaul. All of a sudden somebody decides to close the roof at Minute Maid Park for the World Series after leaving it up to the Astros all year, including throughout the postseason, to decide when to close it. If it's such an unfair advantage I'm sure the Braves and Cardinals would have wanted MLB to have it open during the entire postseason. Why close it now? And isn't the fact that it provides an advantage all the more reason to have it closed? Isn't that the point of playing in your home park? Why not just play all the World Series game in neutral sites from now on so that neither team has an edge in any of the games if it's such a problem? From ending all star games in ties to banning Pete Rose from the game but not steriod users, does anybody in MLB have a clue?
3. Weather forecasters: Like in that upcoming Nicholas Cage movie I wish that somebody would throw something at these guys. All they do is hype up every storm as a "Nor'easter", creating mass hysteria. Sometimes I think these guys own a majority stake in Waldbaums since such hype always leads people to stock up on groceries. Then when there's a really bad storm, like the one that flooded my basement, they don't even mention the fact that it's one of the worst storms in history until like a week later when they find out just how much damage was done. And speaking of history these guys still think that this year's bad weather is just a historically bad year. No one seems to realize that it's not a bad year, it's the start of a period of bad years, as the planet's climate changes. Get it right people!
4. ABC is 'Lost': And finally the thing that bothers me most of all are the idiots who run ABC. Every year they stop a run away hit show like Lost after a few episodes to go back and reair the last few so that everyone can catch up. That accomplishes nothing other than to kill the show's momentum and buzz, turning viewers off. If they wanted people to catch up they should reair the previous week's show right before the new one, in a 2 hour block, or air that week's episode later in the week like on a Saturday night when there's nothing else on. Maybe even a Lost marathon once a month, for four hours, on a Sunday afternoon. Instead these morons kill the best thing they had going for them.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Umm, Gggggrrrrrrrrrr-E
"The kick is up and it's wide right....um, grrrrrrrrrr."
"It is high, it is far, it is - caught at the wall.....um, grrrrrrr."
"Shames drops back, signs up for the GRE less than 24 hours before it's being given, doesn't study, goes out to a bar the night before, wakes up and...um, grrrrr."
Such is my life. I thought it was going to be easier than it was. It wasn't. I thought I could wing it without studying. I couldn't. I thought....wrong.
It wasn't a total disaster area. I know now what to expect and my verbal score was in the range I wanted it to be as was to be expected. But Math. Well now that's another story.
You know all those times when you were going to school and you wondered when am I ever going to need this? Well once I wish that someone had said for that day, ten years from now, when you go to take the GRE. Maybe then I would have paid attention more.
As it is, I can't do Math for the life of me. But I had better learn. And quick. Or even I'll be able to figure out that I won't be able to get into grad school.
"It is high, it is far, it is - caught at the wall.....um, grrrrrrr."
"Shames drops back, signs up for the GRE less than 24 hours before it's being given, doesn't study, goes out to a bar the night before, wakes up and...um, grrrrr."
Such is my life. I thought it was going to be easier than it was. It wasn't. I thought I could wing it without studying. I couldn't. I thought....wrong.
It wasn't a total disaster area. I know now what to expect and my verbal score was in the range I wanted it to be as was to be expected. But Math. Well now that's another story.
You know all those times when you were going to school and you wondered when am I ever going to need this? Well once I wish that someone had said for that day, ten years from now, when you go to take the GRE. Maybe then I would have paid attention more.
As it is, I can't do Math for the life of me. But I had better learn. And quick. Or even I'll be able to figure out that I won't be able to get into grad school.
Monday, October 24, 2005
Craig's Lists: The Dumbest Things I've Done
No apartments for rent here. Just a hilarious list. This week it's a look back at all the dumb things I've done over the years because as we all know even smart people do dumb things.
1. Once took out $60 from an ATM machine and then walked away without taking the money.
2. Once drove away from a gas station with the Daily News and a container of Orange Juice still on the hood of the car.
3. Once found over $80 in a 7-11 and rather than pocket the money gave it to the cashier in case someone came to claim it.
4. While working at Adelphi, sent an email that made fun of my job to my boss because I didn't want her to feel left out.
5. At a fast food place threw the tray into the garbage can along with what I was throwing out.
6. When somebody asked me if I knew Italian I said yes because I thought they were asking if I had a tie on.
7. Left my car in a metered parking spot, with a 2 hour limit, thinking that I could just keep putting quarters in every 2 hours, and not knowing that a 2 hour limit meant that I could only stay there for 2 hours, 1 time.
8. Spent the summer before I went away to college staying up late and waking up early thinking that I could train my body to get used to how college life would be like.
9. When I was younger, once drank coffee thinking it was chocolate milk.
10. When I was little, ate a bunch of mothballs in my closet. (No wait, that wasn't me. That was Brian Malfettone.)
11. Tried to use a breathe easy strip as a band aid.
1. Once took out $60 from an ATM machine and then walked away without taking the money.
2. Once drove away from a gas station with the Daily News and a container of Orange Juice still on the hood of the car.
3. Once found over $80 in a 7-11 and rather than pocket the money gave it to the cashier in case someone came to claim it.
4. While working at Adelphi, sent an email that made fun of my job to my boss because I didn't want her to feel left out.
5. At a fast food place threw the tray into the garbage can along with what I was throwing out.
6. When somebody asked me if I knew Italian I said yes because I thought they were asking if I had a tie on.
7. Left my car in a metered parking spot, with a 2 hour limit, thinking that I could just keep putting quarters in every 2 hours, and not knowing that a 2 hour limit meant that I could only stay there for 2 hours, 1 time.
8. Spent the summer before I went away to college staying up late and waking up early thinking that I could train my body to get used to how college life would be like.
9. When I was younger, once drank coffee thinking it was chocolate milk.
10. When I was little, ate a bunch of mothballs in my closet. (No wait, that wasn't me. That was Brian Malfettone.)
11. Tried to use a breathe easy strip as a band aid.
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Weekend At Bore-nies
Lately, I think I've been experiencing something that most people experience after graduating from college and moving back home: complete and utter weekend boredom.
Now that's not the case for people who are lucky enough to be in a relationship. Those people can just stay in with their significant other and watch a movie. Nor is it the case for drunken flussies who bar hop or go clubbing in hopes of finding a notch to add to their belts.
But it is most certainly the case for people, like me, who wane for something to do not involving alchohol. In talking with Russell this weekend I realized just how few things there are to do on a Friday or Saturday night. A short list of non-traditional activities include:
Hitting golf balls at the driving range or baseballs/softballs at the batting cages
Arcade games/ski ball like activities at Jillians
Mini golf/bowling/pool hall
Poker night
Sporting event
None of which really get your adrenaline flowing, which is a problem when you spend your whole week looking forward to the weekends. Maybe I should just start drinking heavily...
Now that's not the case for people who are lucky enough to be in a relationship. Those people can just stay in with their significant other and watch a movie. Nor is it the case for drunken flussies who bar hop or go clubbing in hopes of finding a notch to add to their belts.
But it is most certainly the case for people, like me, who wane for something to do not involving alchohol. In talking with Russell this weekend I realized just how few things there are to do on a Friday or Saturday night. A short list of non-traditional activities include:
Hitting golf balls at the driving range or baseballs/softballs at the batting cages
Arcade games/ski ball like activities at Jillians
Mini golf/bowling/pool hall
Poker night
Sporting event
None of which really get your adrenaline flowing, which is a problem when you spend your whole week looking forward to the weekends. Maybe I should just start drinking heavily...
Saturday, October 22, 2005
Week In Review
Random thoughts from the last week:
Looks like Fifty Cent is going to have his own 8 Mile called 'Get Rich or Die Trying'. The funny thing about that is that one of the guys who was in Eminem's crew is also in Fifty's. Somehow in real life I don't think that Eminem and Fifty Cent have the same friends.
Flying a kite is gay.
The only thing gayer: having a subscription to Men's Health.
What exactly is the 'stuff' that Snapple is referring to?
The best part about home exercise equipment is that you can use them to hang up clothes.
Is it me or is everything on Long Island exactly a half hour from everything else?
Rob Roll's solution to my water logged carpet problem: 'just spray a bunch of febreeze over it for like a week straight and you'd be all set.'
When trying to spell the word fiance I originally had it spelt like finance. Looking it over I thought to myself, that's not right, I don't think people marry money. Although, some may so that you do. Especially if you're a jewish girl from Long Island.
I think I can sue for gimmick infringement again. Weeks after the 40 Year Old Virgin came out there was a character tonight on NCIS who has trouble in the girl department and spends his nights searching the web and watching reality tv.
Speaking of reality tv, I'm guessing that since production for Beauty and the Geek was supposed to start in mid September that I didn't get it.
Brian B. had the line of the week when discussing potential one liners for his comedy routine when he said, "there are a lot of fish in the sea so be sure not to get crabs."
The phrase silent but deadly took on a whole new meaning when I found a dead cricket in the bathroom just minutes after Mark had gone.
Looks like Fifty Cent is going to have his own 8 Mile called 'Get Rich or Die Trying'. The funny thing about that is that one of the guys who was in Eminem's crew is also in Fifty's. Somehow in real life I don't think that Eminem and Fifty Cent have the same friends.
Flying a kite is gay.
The only thing gayer: having a subscription to Men's Health.
What exactly is the 'stuff' that Snapple is referring to?
The best part about home exercise equipment is that you can use them to hang up clothes.
Is it me or is everything on Long Island exactly a half hour from everything else?
Rob Roll's solution to my water logged carpet problem: 'just spray a bunch of febreeze over it for like a week straight and you'd be all set.'
When trying to spell the word fiance I originally had it spelt like finance. Looking it over I thought to myself, that's not right, I don't think people marry money. Although, some may so that you do. Especially if you're a jewish girl from Long Island.
I think I can sue for gimmick infringement again. Weeks after the 40 Year Old Virgin came out there was a character tonight on NCIS who has trouble in the girl department and spends his nights searching the web and watching reality tv.
Speaking of reality tv, I'm guessing that since production for Beauty and the Geek was supposed to start in mid September that I didn't get it.
Brian B. had the line of the week when discussing potential one liners for his comedy routine when he said, "there are a lot of fish in the sea so be sure not to get crabs."
The phrase silent but deadly took on a whole new meaning when I found a dead cricket in the bathroom just minutes after Mark had gone.
Friday, October 21, 2005
Fearless Football Predictions: Week 7
Inspired by the movie "Two For The Money" I aim for 80%. Here's what I'm thinking:
Bengals over the Steelers: It's really tempting to lean towards the Steelers with their big game experience and the fact that the Bengals could be overrated having not beaten any good teams yet. But with injuries taking their toll and the Bengals being at home I'm tempted to lean towards them. Should be the game of the week but the Bengals win in overtime.
Chargers over the Eagles: The Eagles are at home and coming off the bye but I'm really high on the Chargers who are only 3-3 because they played one game without TE Antonio Gates and have had a brutal schedule. Should be another great game though.
Chiefs over the Dolphins: Moved up because of Hurricane Wilma which means nothing other than that you should bring an umbrella if you're going to the game. The game itself will be raining rushing touchdowns from the Chiefs as they should easily pound the Dolphins.
Lions over the Browns: Following last week's game Browns head coach Romeo Crenel said his team has to get back to basics. If this were Wall Street everybody would be selling the Browns. Which is why I'm picking the Lions despite their struggles.
Packers over the Vikings: Chasing 8 I have to go with the Vikings knowing that Brian is likely to pick the Packers. Plus the Vikings can't be this bad and the Packers only win was against the Saints and they are really banged up on the offensive line.
Redskins over the 49ers: Now that Alex Smith is the QB the injury depleted and not that good to begin with 49ers might not win a game.
Seahawks over the Cowboys: The Cowboys have looked good so far but they don't have a running game and the Seahawks always win at home.
Cardinals over the Titans: The Cardinals passing game has come along now that Josh McGown is the starting QB and the Titans have a weak secondary so the Cardinals should be able to win easily.
Ravens over the Bears: Should be won by field goals and defense and the edge usually goes to the home team but I like the Ravens defense to prove to everyone that they are still an elite unit.
Broncos over the Giants: The Giants are a good team but not as good as the 5-1 Broncos who have been one of the early eason surprises so far. Except the Broncos to control the time of possession with their running game, taking the ball out of Eli Manning's hands.
Bills over the Raiders: Playing without Randy Moss, no chance. Playing with Willis McGahee, good chance.
Falcons over the Jets: Both mascots can fly but only one team has a player who can (see Vick, Michael.) The Falcons should destroy the Jets which is why I can't wait to watch the game with Brian M.
Rams over the Saints: The Rams almost beat the Colts before losing QB Marc Bulger to injury. That should favor the Saints but the thing is I think Rams backup Jamie Martin is better. Expect the Rams to roll at home.
Colts over the Texans: The only undefeated team against the only winless one. I think you know who I'm picking.
Bengals over the Steelers: It's really tempting to lean towards the Steelers with their big game experience and the fact that the Bengals could be overrated having not beaten any good teams yet. But with injuries taking their toll and the Bengals being at home I'm tempted to lean towards them. Should be the game of the week but the Bengals win in overtime.
Chargers over the Eagles: The Eagles are at home and coming off the bye but I'm really high on the Chargers who are only 3-3 because they played one game without TE Antonio Gates and have had a brutal schedule. Should be another great game though.
Chiefs over the Dolphins: Moved up because of Hurricane Wilma which means nothing other than that you should bring an umbrella if you're going to the game. The game itself will be raining rushing touchdowns from the Chiefs as they should easily pound the Dolphins.
Lions over the Browns: Following last week's game Browns head coach Romeo Crenel said his team has to get back to basics. If this were Wall Street everybody would be selling the Browns. Which is why I'm picking the Lions despite their struggles.
Packers over the Vikings: Chasing 8 I have to go with the Vikings knowing that Brian is likely to pick the Packers. Plus the Vikings can't be this bad and the Packers only win was against the Saints and they are really banged up on the offensive line.
Redskins over the 49ers: Now that Alex Smith is the QB the injury depleted and not that good to begin with 49ers might not win a game.
Seahawks over the Cowboys: The Cowboys have looked good so far but they don't have a running game and the Seahawks always win at home.
Cardinals over the Titans: The Cardinals passing game has come along now that Josh McGown is the starting QB and the Titans have a weak secondary so the Cardinals should be able to win easily.
Ravens over the Bears: Should be won by field goals and defense and the edge usually goes to the home team but I like the Ravens defense to prove to everyone that they are still an elite unit.
Broncos over the Giants: The Giants are a good team but not as good as the 5-1 Broncos who have been one of the early eason surprises so far. Except the Broncos to control the time of possession with their running game, taking the ball out of Eli Manning's hands.
Bills over the Raiders: Playing without Randy Moss, no chance. Playing with Willis McGahee, good chance.
Falcons over the Jets: Both mascots can fly but only one team has a player who can (see Vick, Michael.) The Falcons should destroy the Jets which is why I can't wait to watch the game with Brian M.
Rams over the Saints: The Rams almost beat the Colts before losing QB Marc Bulger to injury. That should favor the Saints but the thing is I think Rams backup Jamie Martin is better. Expect the Rams to roll at home.
Colts over the Texans: The only undefeated team against the only winless one. I think you know who I'm picking.
Thursday, October 20, 2005
20 Questions
Some food for thought:
1. Will the Yankees ever win the World Series again?
2. Will the writers of Lost ever not drag out a storyline?
3. Will I ever find a job?
4. A girl to date?
5. Can I get rid of my gut in just one more week?
6. Who will I take to my sister's wedding?
7. Is there life on other planets?
8. Who really killed Kennedy?
9. Does anybody even read this blog?
10. When are they going to bring back the A Team?
11. Watcha talkin about Willis?
12. How come I can go to war at 18 but can't rent a car?
13. Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?
14. Why is everyone always comparing me to animated cartoon characters?
15. Why do people need to get drunk to have a good time?
16. What was Natalie Portman thinking when she shaved her head?
17. Did anybody even notice that the NHL came back?
18. Whose going to replace Alex Trebek as the host of Jeopardy?
19. What's up with Crop Circles?
20. Brittany Snow, will you marry me?
1. Will the Yankees ever win the World Series again?
2. Will the writers of Lost ever not drag out a storyline?
3. Will I ever find a job?
4. A girl to date?
5. Can I get rid of my gut in just one more week?
6. Who will I take to my sister's wedding?
7. Is there life on other planets?
8. Who really killed Kennedy?
9. Does anybody even read this blog?
10. When are they going to bring back the A Team?
11. Watcha talkin about Willis?
12. How come I can go to war at 18 but can't rent a car?
13. Why do we drive on parkways and park in driveways?
14. Why is everyone always comparing me to animated cartoon characters?
15. Why do people need to get drunk to have a good time?
16. What was Natalie Portman thinking when she shaved her head?
17. Did anybody even notice that the NHL came back?
18. Whose going to replace Alex Trebek as the host of Jeopardy?
19. What's up with Crop Circles?
20. Brittany Snow, will you marry me?
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
Job Search Update
So I didn't get the position at Johnson and Wales University since they wanted to hire somebody with more experience. I guess it's for the best since I really didn't want to work for a school named after a penis anyway.
Now it's back to the drawing board, i.e. trying to assasinate baseball general managers to open up some more positions. Seriously though, I don't have many other prospects so at this rate it might not be long before I'm back at the bottom of the job totem pool also known as temping.
Long term, if I don't get anything by January I'll just wind up taking graduate classes for either teaching or guidance counseling. Although, after five months of inactivity the last thing I want to do is homework.
So if any future employers are out there, please save me!
Now it's back to the drawing board, i.e. trying to assasinate baseball general managers to open up some more positions. Seriously though, I don't have many other prospects so at this rate it might not be long before I'm back at the bottom of the job totem pool also known as temping.
Long term, if I don't get anything by January I'll just wind up taking graduate classes for either teaching or guidance counseling. Although, after five months of inactivity the last thing I want to do is homework.
So if any future employers are out there, please save me!
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
Are We Cursed?
My mom's not going to like this post but it's worth writing about just for the shear number of incidents that have occured over the last year and the eeriness of it all. Now, I'm not a big believer in curses, spells, and jinxes (although I do have a voodoo doll with all the pins in the crotch of the boyfriend of this girl that I like) but this would make a believer out of anybody.
Consider that ever since the Boston Red Sox won the World Series and ended the Curse of the Bambino the following events have happened to my family:
1. My basement floods with raw sewage.
2. My mom and Mark get into a car accident.
3. My sister's fiance gets into a car accident.
4. My sister's fiance's parents get into a car accident.
5. I get fired from Adelphi.
6. My dad gets Diabetes.
7. Mark suffers a heart attack.
8. Mark gets pneumonia.
9. Mark's mother falls and breaks her hip.
10. Our basement floods again after a week of rain.
Eery isn't it?
Consider that ever since the Boston Red Sox won the World Series and ended the Curse of the Bambino the following events have happened to my family:
1. My basement floods with raw sewage.
2. My mom and Mark get into a car accident.
3. My sister's fiance gets into a car accident.
4. My sister's fiance's parents get into a car accident.
5. I get fired from Adelphi.
6. My dad gets Diabetes.
7. Mark suffers a heart attack.
8. Mark gets pneumonia.
9. Mark's mother falls and breaks her hip.
10. Our basement floods again after a week of rain.
Eery isn't it?
Monday, October 17, 2005
The Day After Tomorrow
Tsunami in Southeast Asia.
Hurricane Katrina.
Hurricane Rita.
Massive Earthquake in Pakistan, India, and Afghanistan.
Record rainfall for October in the tri-state area leading to coastal flooding.
And many more that I haven't mentioned or have yet to come.
What does it all mean? Like in the movie starring Dennis Quaid and Bubble Boy himself are the polar ice caps melting leading to a shift in the world's climate? Are we on the verge of another ice age?
Who knows? All I know is that it's going to be a long ass winter. Which is ironic since Winters traditionally don't have asses. Isn't that right, Mario?
Hurricane Katrina.
Hurricane Rita.
Massive Earthquake in Pakistan, India, and Afghanistan.
Record rainfall for October in the tri-state area leading to coastal flooding.
And many more that I haven't mentioned or have yet to come.
What does it all mean? Like in the movie starring Dennis Quaid and Bubble Boy himself are the polar ice caps melting leading to a shift in the world's climate? Are we on the verge of another ice age?
Who knows? All I know is that it's going to be a long ass winter. Which is ironic since Winters traditionally don't have asses. Isn't that right, Mario?
Sunday, October 16, 2005
Week in Review
Random thoughts from the last week:
Did anybody see that story this week about Nomar Garciaparra jumping into Boston Harbor to save two people who were drowning? Earlier this year, AROD pulled back a little boy who was about to get hit by a car on Newbury Street in Boston. So that begs the question: What's with former or almost were Red Sox shortstops and saving people's lives? And do all major league shortstops double as heroes and crime fighters? You would think that if they did they would at least have the ability to also hit in the clutch. What's up with that?
Why does everyone have to work on Columbus Day? I thought it was a national holiday. What's next, no more casual fridays? In theory, I can handle having to work on non secular holidays but if they ever take away my jeans and polo shirts I'm putting my foot down.
I finally found someone who watches tv more than me: a tv critic.
Is it any coincidence that I lost 5 pounds in the same week that I trimmed my chest hair?
This new Craig thing isn't working out so well. I'm so well organized now that I can't find anything. I was looking all over my room for my jacket until I realized it was in the closet. I couldn't find the money my mom gave me to go food shopping until I stumbled across it, get this, in my wallet. In a cruel twist of irony I became so organized so quickly that I still can't find anything because I forgot where I put it.
Being single sucks. If you're married you get two incomes and tax breaks. But if you're single you don't get any of those things plus there are some things you can't wear since you don't have anybody in the house to close those hard to reach buttons or if you're a girl no one to zip closed your dress. Don't you think it should be the other way around and you should have more advantages if you're single. After all, there should be some things to make up for the fact that you're not getting any ass.
Collared shirts are alot like straight jackets. They have so many buttons that once they're on you can't get them off.
This just in: Brian Berkowicz isn't funny.
How come I refer to my mom's sister as Aunt Judy but she only calls me Craig and not Nephew Craig?
I think that Jon Stewart has replaced Jerry Seinfeld as the top Jew in showbiz.
The best thing about being Jewish is that I get to say things like top Jew without it sounding racist.
The funny thing about fighting a flood is that while doing so you can only think of two things: consuming a cold glass of H20 and taking a shower, two things ironically dealing with water.
Can you hear me now?
Did anybody see that story this week about Nomar Garciaparra jumping into Boston Harbor to save two people who were drowning? Earlier this year, AROD pulled back a little boy who was about to get hit by a car on Newbury Street in Boston. So that begs the question: What's with former or almost were Red Sox shortstops and saving people's lives? And do all major league shortstops double as heroes and crime fighters? You would think that if they did they would at least have the ability to also hit in the clutch. What's up with that?
Why does everyone have to work on Columbus Day? I thought it was a national holiday. What's next, no more casual fridays? In theory, I can handle having to work on non secular holidays but if they ever take away my jeans and polo shirts I'm putting my foot down.
I finally found someone who watches tv more than me: a tv critic.
Is it any coincidence that I lost 5 pounds in the same week that I trimmed my chest hair?
This new Craig thing isn't working out so well. I'm so well organized now that I can't find anything. I was looking all over my room for my jacket until I realized it was in the closet. I couldn't find the money my mom gave me to go food shopping until I stumbled across it, get this, in my wallet. In a cruel twist of irony I became so organized so quickly that I still can't find anything because I forgot where I put it.
Being single sucks. If you're married you get two incomes and tax breaks. But if you're single you don't get any of those things plus there are some things you can't wear since you don't have anybody in the house to close those hard to reach buttons or if you're a girl no one to zip closed your dress. Don't you think it should be the other way around and you should have more advantages if you're single. After all, there should be some things to make up for the fact that you're not getting any ass.
Collared shirts are alot like straight jackets. They have so many buttons that once they're on you can't get them off.
This just in: Brian Berkowicz isn't funny.
How come I refer to my mom's sister as Aunt Judy but she only calls me Craig and not Nephew Craig?
I think that Jon Stewart has replaced Jerry Seinfeld as the top Jew in showbiz.
The best thing about being Jewish is that I get to say things like top Jew without it sounding racist.
The funny thing about fighting a flood is that while doing so you can only think of two things: consuming a cold glass of H20 and taking a shower, two things ironically dealing with water.
Can you hear me now?
Saturday, October 15, 2005
Waging A Losing Battle
And no I'm not talking about the war in Iraq. I'm talking about how I spent my Friday night fighting the flow of water into my basement, which is also where my room is.
Due to the non stop rain over the last week, some estimates put it at 13 inches others at 20, the water well under my house overflowed causing water to pour into my basement from the drain at the bottom of our outside staircase while more water seeped up into my room from the ground up.
I noticed the water at around 4 pm and from then on I fought a losing battle trying to scoop the water out as fast as it was coming in. I started out with a cup, then used a shovel, and by the end of the night had a wet vac running at a rate of 5 gallons/minute. It still wasn't enough.
Not even having my sister, her fianance, and my mom working simultaneously seemed to help. The water was just coming in too fast from too many different places. Around 9 pm we stopped for dinner and for the night. But not me. I was determined to not let the water overrun my room.
So I kept at it until 12 am when suddenly the attachment on the hose of the wet vac snapped off and the suction part of the hose was left dangling where it quickly found a new attachment to latch onto: my penis. That's when I knew it was time to retire for the night.
So I did so begrudingly, having lost to mother nature yet again. Turns out I wasn't the only one. Most of East Rockaway and Oceanside were flooded out as well, including almost all of my development and even Katie's house all the way on the other side of town.
They're saying that this is one of the worst storms in the last century and whose to argue. Certainly not anybody who suffered water damage. Certainly not me.
Due to the non stop rain over the last week, some estimates put it at 13 inches others at 20, the water well under my house overflowed causing water to pour into my basement from the drain at the bottom of our outside staircase while more water seeped up into my room from the ground up.
I noticed the water at around 4 pm and from then on I fought a losing battle trying to scoop the water out as fast as it was coming in. I started out with a cup, then used a shovel, and by the end of the night had a wet vac running at a rate of 5 gallons/minute. It still wasn't enough.
Not even having my sister, her fianance, and my mom working simultaneously seemed to help. The water was just coming in too fast from too many different places. Around 9 pm we stopped for dinner and for the night. But not me. I was determined to not let the water overrun my room.
So I kept at it until 12 am when suddenly the attachment on the hose of the wet vac snapped off and the suction part of the hose was left dangling where it quickly found a new attachment to latch onto: my penis. That's when I knew it was time to retire for the night.
So I did so begrudingly, having lost to mother nature yet again. Turns out I wasn't the only one. Most of East Rockaway and Oceanside were flooded out as well, including almost all of my development and even Katie's house all the way on the other side of town.
They're saying that this is one of the worst storms in the last century and whose to argue. Certainly not anybody who suffered water damage. Certainly not me.
Friday, October 14, 2005
Fearless Football Predictions: Week 6
Chasing 8 here's what my crystal ball is predicting:
Cowboys over the Giants - I really like the Giants offense right now, more than I even like Kelly Clarkson's music, but they never do well coming off the bye and the Cowboys looked great in destroying the Eagles last week. Bledsoe-Keyshawn rift aside, the boys are back and they're at home so I'll take a chance on them having the magic two weeks in a row.
Minnesota over Chicago - Sexcapades aside the Vikings are the better team and maybe this latest controversy will be the galvanizing force that the team needed to bring it together. In case you don't know what I'm talking about there was a sex party on a boat in Lake Michigan involving some of the Vikings' players, a couple of whores, a donkey, and a midget. At least some part of that last sentence is true.
Carolina over Detroit - Do I even have to say why?
Cincinnatti over Tennessee - Picking against the Titans usually burns me but the Bengals are America's team right now and who am I to go against America? I am worried about the ESPN Magazine cover jinx since Carson Palmer is on the cover this week but hey if the Boston Red Sox can win the World Series then the Bengals can beat the Titans in Rocky Top Tennessee.
Kansas City over Washington - Washington has to got to be the worst 3-1 team in history. They should make it two losses in a row on the road against an explosive offense that they won't be able to keep up with.
Atlanta over New Orleans - Against the Packers, the Saints, in the words of Brian Malfettone, got beat worse than a red headed step child. Against Atlanta, even without Michael Vick, they should endure another lopsided beating.
Jacksonville over Pittsburgh - I'm taking a big gamble on this one but the Jaguars looked good against the Bengals and the Steelers might be without Big Ben. It's worth the risk.
Miami over Tampa Bay - Another gamble but with Ricky Williams back and Cadillac Williams possibly out the Dolphins could steal a win in the battle for South Florida.
Baltimore over Cleveland - Baltimore's a mess and I probably should listen to Edgar Allen Poe and pick the Ravens never more but I have a good feeling about them this week with their backs against the wall.
Jets over Buffalo - The Bills defense is banged up and the Jets are playing well with Vinny Testaverde giving them new hope of salvaging their season. Should come down to a late field goal though.
New England over Denver - The Pats are vulnerable but the Broncos don't match up well with them and NE should be able to find a way to win. Plus my sister's fianance is in town this weekend so I kind of have to pick them.
Chargers over Da Raiders - My new favorite team, the Chargers, should win in a shootout. That's right Hernandez I have come over to the dark side.
Seattle over Houston - The Seahawks are so inconsistent that this could be the spot where the Texans pick up their first win. A more likely scenario: Shaun Alexander scores like 9 tds.
Indy over the Rams - Great game. Lots of points. Colts thrive in these kind of games.
Cowboys over the Giants - I really like the Giants offense right now, more than I even like Kelly Clarkson's music, but they never do well coming off the bye and the Cowboys looked great in destroying the Eagles last week. Bledsoe-Keyshawn rift aside, the boys are back and they're at home so I'll take a chance on them having the magic two weeks in a row.
Minnesota over Chicago - Sexcapades aside the Vikings are the better team and maybe this latest controversy will be the galvanizing force that the team needed to bring it together. In case you don't know what I'm talking about there was a sex party on a boat in Lake Michigan involving some of the Vikings' players, a couple of whores, a donkey, and a midget. At least some part of that last sentence is true.
Carolina over Detroit - Do I even have to say why?
Cincinnatti over Tennessee - Picking against the Titans usually burns me but the Bengals are America's team right now and who am I to go against America? I am worried about the ESPN Magazine cover jinx since Carson Palmer is on the cover this week but hey if the Boston Red Sox can win the World Series then the Bengals can beat the Titans in Rocky Top Tennessee.
Kansas City over Washington - Washington has to got to be the worst 3-1 team in history. They should make it two losses in a row on the road against an explosive offense that they won't be able to keep up with.
Atlanta over New Orleans - Against the Packers, the Saints, in the words of Brian Malfettone, got beat worse than a red headed step child. Against Atlanta, even without Michael Vick, they should endure another lopsided beating.
Jacksonville over Pittsburgh - I'm taking a big gamble on this one but the Jaguars looked good against the Bengals and the Steelers might be without Big Ben. It's worth the risk.
Miami over Tampa Bay - Another gamble but with Ricky Williams back and Cadillac Williams possibly out the Dolphins could steal a win in the battle for South Florida.
Baltimore over Cleveland - Baltimore's a mess and I probably should listen to Edgar Allen Poe and pick the Ravens never more but I have a good feeling about them this week with their backs against the wall.
Jets over Buffalo - The Bills defense is banged up and the Jets are playing well with Vinny Testaverde giving them new hope of salvaging their season. Should come down to a late field goal though.
New England over Denver - The Pats are vulnerable but the Broncos don't match up well with them and NE should be able to find a way to win. Plus my sister's fianance is in town this weekend so I kind of have to pick them.
Chargers over Da Raiders - My new favorite team, the Chargers, should win in a shootout. That's right Hernandez I have come over to the dark side.
Seattle over Houston - The Seahawks are so inconsistent that this could be the spot where the Texans pick up their first win. A more likely scenario: Shaun Alexander scores like 9 tds.
Indy over the Rams - Great game. Lots of points. Colts thrive in these kind of games.
Thursday, October 13, 2005
Three Things
I saw this feature on someone else's blog and thought it was a good idea so here we go:
10 years ago I:
1. Moved to Oceanside.
2. Still hadn't reached puberty yet.
3. Had a cat named Patches.
5 years ago I:
1. Was in the only serious relationship I've been in as of yet.
2. Thought that spending $100,000 at Northeastern was better than spending 4 years at Albany.
3. Was celebrating the last time the Yankees would ever win the World Series.
2 years ago I:
1. Was training to be an officer in the United States Army.
2. Was the President of Class Council.
3. Helped create nushuffle.com.
1 year ago I:
1. Quit the Army.
2. Moved back to New York.
3. Starting working at Adelphi University.
Yesterday I:
1. Mourned the Yankees playoff ouster.
2. Went to the gym to vent.
3. Searched for jobs.
3 things I can't live without:
1. Licorice nibs.
2. Lost.
3. The internet.
3 things I would buy with $1,000:
1. Tivo.
2. A bunch of lottery tickets.
3. New softball equipment.
3 bad habits I have:
1. Picking my nose (just kidding)
2. Binge eating late at night.
3. Sleeping until 2 pm on the weekends.
3 shows I like:
1. Lost.
2. One Tree Hill.
3. Gilmore Girls.
3 things that scare me:
1. Black people when I'm walking home by myself (just kidding, Billy)
2. Spiders.
3. Heights.
3 things that I'm wearing right now:
1. Nothing (I type in the nude).
3 of my favorite bands:
1. Kelly Clarkson.
2. Ashlee Simpson.
3. Hilary Duff.
3 things I want to do really badly right now:
1. Talk about Lost theories.
2. Eat licorice.
3. Go to bed.
10 years ago I:
1. Moved to Oceanside.
2. Still hadn't reached puberty yet.
3. Had a cat named Patches.
5 years ago I:
1. Was in the only serious relationship I've been in as of yet.
2. Thought that spending $100,000 at Northeastern was better than spending 4 years at Albany.
3. Was celebrating the last time the Yankees would ever win the World Series.
2 years ago I:
1. Was training to be an officer in the United States Army.
2. Was the President of Class Council.
3. Helped create nushuffle.com.
1 year ago I:
1. Quit the Army.
2. Moved back to New York.
3. Starting working at Adelphi University.
Yesterday I:
1. Mourned the Yankees playoff ouster.
2. Went to the gym to vent.
3. Searched for jobs.
3 things I can't live without:
1. Licorice nibs.
2. Lost.
3. The internet.
3 things I would buy with $1,000:
1. Tivo.
2. A bunch of lottery tickets.
3. New softball equipment.
3 bad habits I have:
1. Picking my nose (just kidding)
2. Binge eating late at night.
3. Sleeping until 2 pm on the weekends.
3 shows I like:
1. Lost.
2. One Tree Hill.
3. Gilmore Girls.
3 things that scare me:
1. Black people when I'm walking home by myself (just kidding, Billy)
2. Spiders.
3. Heights.
3 things that I'm wearing right now:
1. Nothing (I type in the nude).
3 of my favorite bands:
1. Kelly Clarkson.
2. Ashlee Simpson.
3. Hilary Duff.
3 things I want to do really badly right now:
1. Talk about Lost theories.
2. Eat licorice.
3. Go to bed.
Wednesday, October 12, 2005
Radical Ideas
With all the local newspapers talking about what changes the Yankees can make I thought it would be fun to come up with some radical ideas of my own to improve the ol' ballclub.
1. Hire yours truly as the General Manager. Seriously. I'm not kidding.
2. Have a fire sale and remake the team into a national league style, small ball team built around pitching, defense and speed.
2a. To do so let Hideki Matsui walk as a free agent replacing him with Minnesota's Jacque Jones.
3. This is from Newsday's Jon Heyman but I liked it so much: Sign free agent SS Rafael Furcal.......to play second base.
4. This will never happen but: Move Derek Jeter to center field, Alex Rodriguez back to shortstop, and trade Gary Sheffield, Robinson Cano, and Chien-Ming Wang to the A's for thirdbaseman Eric Chavez and starting pitcher Barry Zito.
5. Bring back recently fired Orioles manager Leo Mazilli as the bench coach in place of the soon to be departing Joe Girardi and hire the Braves Leo Mazzone as the pitching coach in place of Mel Stottlymyre.
6. Sign Orioles closer B.J. Ryan as the primary 8th inning set up guy and eventual closer replacment for Mariano Rivera.
7. Trade Sp Carl Pavano to the desperate for starting pitching Seattle Mariners in exchange for lefty reliever Eddie Guardado.
8. Sign a free agent catcher like Bengie Molina or Ramon Hernandez and move Jorge Posada to DH.
9. Now that Giambi's trade value has been restored swap him out to Colorado for Todd Helton.
10. Petition MLB to be realigned into a division with Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Colorado, and Detroit.
1. Hire yours truly as the General Manager. Seriously. I'm not kidding.
2. Have a fire sale and remake the team into a national league style, small ball team built around pitching, defense and speed.
2a. To do so let Hideki Matsui walk as a free agent replacing him with Minnesota's Jacque Jones.
3. This is from Newsday's Jon Heyman but I liked it so much: Sign free agent SS Rafael Furcal.......to play second base.
4. This will never happen but: Move Derek Jeter to center field, Alex Rodriguez back to shortstop, and trade Gary Sheffield, Robinson Cano, and Chien-Ming Wang to the A's for thirdbaseman Eric Chavez and starting pitcher Barry Zito.
5. Bring back recently fired Orioles manager Leo Mazilli as the bench coach in place of the soon to be departing Joe Girardi and hire the Braves Leo Mazzone as the pitching coach in place of Mel Stottlymyre.
6. Sign Orioles closer B.J. Ryan as the primary 8th inning set up guy and eventual closer replacment for Mariano Rivera.
7. Trade Sp Carl Pavano to the desperate for starting pitching Seattle Mariners in exchange for lefty reliever Eddie Guardado.
8. Sign a free agent catcher like Bengie Molina or Ramon Hernandez and move Jorge Posada to DH.
9. Now that Giambi's trade value has been restored swap him out to Colorado for Todd Helton.
10. Petition MLB to be realigned into a division with Kansas City, Pittsburgh, Colorado, and Detroit.
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
What a Waste of Money
Man, do the Yankees suck. A $200 million dollar payroll and they can't even get out of the first round of the playoffs. I guess I was way off when I proclaimed that they were going to win it all: (http://imaheadcase.blogspot.com/2005/08/you-heard-it-here-first.html)
The only people more upset than Yankees fans right now are the executives at Fox who get a National League style, small ball series between the Angels and White Sox after two straight years of heated Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. They have got to be thrilled about that!
Since I'm too upset to actually write about my analysis of the ALDS I thought I would instead make a list of other things that I could have got for $200 million:
Luxembourg
A lifetime supply of licorice nibs
A minor league baseball team and then named myself player/manager
A Jewish wife
40 million Big Macs
Brittany Snow to notice me
Out of debt
But alas I won't have any of those things. Instead all I have is a few weeks until the start of the winter meetings and the inevitable announcement that the Yankees have signed Johnny Damon, BJ Ryan, and 10 other all stars raising their payroll to $300 million.
The only people more upset than Yankees fans right now are the executives at Fox who get a National League style, small ball series between the Angels and White Sox after two straight years of heated Yankees-Red Sox rivalry. They have got to be thrilled about that!
Since I'm too upset to actually write about my analysis of the ALDS I thought I would instead make a list of other things that I could have got for $200 million:
Luxembourg
A lifetime supply of licorice nibs
A minor league baseball team and then named myself player/manager
A Jewish wife
40 million Big Macs
Brittany Snow to notice me
Out of debt
But alas I won't have any of those things. Instead all I have is a few weeks until the start of the winter meetings and the inevitable announcement that the Yankees have signed Johnny Damon, BJ Ryan, and 10 other all stars raising their payroll to $300 million.
Monday, October 10, 2005
The New Craig, Version 13.0
It seems like every few months or so I proclaim that there's a new Craig whose going to do things differently. Usually, I'm referring to my approach with girls or my eating habits. Maybe even in terms of living life to its fullest and taking more risks.
However, no matter the motivation I ultimately revert back to the old Craig: lazy, unfocused, self deprecating. Which is probably why I always thought I would make a good stand up comedian.
But this time things are gonna be different. I know you're saying to yourself: yeah right, we've heard that one before. And there's nothing I can say to you to dispute that. But this time I'm gonna make a conscious effort to uphold my end of it for as long as I can.
After all, I'm 23 years old. It's time to start doing things the right way. No more excuses. No more piggy backing off of others. No more letting life pass me by.
So from now on I'm going to work out like a fiend. Like I'm back in the military. Every day, twice a day. Running. Power lifting. Situps. Pushups. You name it. That infamous gut that I have grown so attached to will be long gone. In a few shorts weeks I'll be able to look down and see my penis again and I can't wait. In fact I just got back from a five mile run and will be waking up at 8 am to go to the gym.
Despite those proclamations, I'm not ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle 100% just yet. Richard Simmons, Billy Blanks, and those 3 am infomerical nutjobs need not apply.
It'll be a slow process but in general I'll be working out more, watching what I eat, and cleaning up after myself. I would commit to fully eating better but it's just that McDonald's is running their annual Monopoly game over the next few weeks and I can't miss out on the chance to win a million bucks! Hey, you never know. After that though I'll watch what I eat.
Now, if you'll excuse me it's time for a 100 squats.
However, no matter the motivation I ultimately revert back to the old Craig: lazy, unfocused, self deprecating. Which is probably why I always thought I would make a good stand up comedian.
But this time things are gonna be different. I know you're saying to yourself: yeah right, we've heard that one before. And there's nothing I can say to you to dispute that. But this time I'm gonna make a conscious effort to uphold my end of it for as long as I can.
After all, I'm 23 years old. It's time to start doing things the right way. No more excuses. No more piggy backing off of others. No more letting life pass me by.
So from now on I'm going to work out like a fiend. Like I'm back in the military. Every day, twice a day. Running. Power lifting. Situps. Pushups. You name it. That infamous gut that I have grown so attached to will be long gone. In a few shorts weeks I'll be able to look down and see my penis again and I can't wait. In fact I just got back from a five mile run and will be waking up at 8 am to go to the gym.
Despite those proclamations, I'm not ready to commit to a healthier lifestyle 100% just yet. Richard Simmons, Billy Blanks, and those 3 am infomerical nutjobs need not apply.
It'll be a slow process but in general I'll be working out more, watching what I eat, and cleaning up after myself. I would commit to fully eating better but it's just that McDonald's is running their annual Monopoly game over the next few weeks and I can't miss out on the chance to win a million bucks! Hey, you never know. After that though I'll watch what I eat.
Now, if you'll excuse me it's time for a 100 squats.
Sunday, October 09, 2005
Close Call
Whew.....that was a close one. I almost missed a day of blogging. It wasn't nearly as close as it could have been considering its only 6 pm and not 11:59 pm. But still, mother nature almost rained on my parade, pun definitely intended.
That's because the bad weather that rained out yesterday's Yankees game and today's softball game seemed to knock out Optimum Online's service and nearly ruined my streak of consecutive days with a post.
But luckily power was restored and my great blog can return to cyber space. I know how much you were all holding your breath over this. (yeah, right) But still, I'm determined to see how long I can go without missing a day even if nobody would notice if i did.
In other Craig related news the bad weather also backed up the sewer on my street and led to raw sewage coming up through the drain in my shower. It's the second time that has happened but luckily it wasn't as bad as it was the first time.
Now if you'll excuse me, with the internet back, it's time to check my 20 fantasy football teams.
That's because the bad weather that rained out yesterday's Yankees game and today's softball game seemed to knock out Optimum Online's service and nearly ruined my streak of consecutive days with a post.
But luckily power was restored and my great blog can return to cyber space. I know how much you were all holding your breath over this. (yeah, right) But still, I'm determined to see how long I can go without missing a day even if nobody would notice if i did.
In other Craig related news the bad weather also backed up the sewer on my street and led to raw sewage coming up through the drain in my shower. It's the second time that has happened but luckily it wasn't as bad as it was the first time.
Now if you'll excuse me, with the internet back, it's time to check my 20 fantasy football teams.
Saturday, October 08, 2005
Week In Review
Random thoughts from the last week:
Last Saturday night I rented Hitch with Katie. The first copy was scratched and we had to return it. The second copy didn't work either because get this: on one side of the DVD there was a sticky substance with what looked like a pubic hair stuck on it. It was absolutely the most mortifying thing I have ever seen. If anyone is reading this: NEVER GO TO BLOCKBUSTER EVER AGAIN.
I've noticed that while serving a large holiday meal it's inevitable that at least one side dish will be left behind in the kitchen. And it's usually still in the microwave.
At a sporting event why do people clap when somebody gets carted off the field? What are they glad that the guy got hurt?
Speaking of messed up reactions I can't stand it when a ball is hit into the Yankees dugout and the Red Sox fans cheer louder than they do after a David Oritz homerun.
Is it weird that I still eat animal crackers?
Mark had the corny joke of the week when he asked: "what's the difference between women and vultures?" Answer - Vultures wait until your dead before they eat your heart out."
Zac had the line of the week when he invited me into his fantasy hockey league because he thought that with the end of the baseball season and my loss of 30 fantasy teams that I would be looking to add a replacement.
What is it about jewish words, starting in ch, like challah and chanukah, that makes them so hard to pronounce for non jews?
Did you know that you use 5 gallons of water every time you flush the toilet?
Would somebody tell the Red Sox that falling behind 0-3 isn't going to work in the ALDS.
Last Saturday night I rented Hitch with Katie. The first copy was scratched and we had to return it. The second copy didn't work either because get this: on one side of the DVD there was a sticky substance with what looked like a pubic hair stuck on it. It was absolutely the most mortifying thing I have ever seen. If anyone is reading this: NEVER GO TO BLOCKBUSTER EVER AGAIN.
I've noticed that while serving a large holiday meal it's inevitable that at least one side dish will be left behind in the kitchen. And it's usually still in the microwave.
At a sporting event why do people clap when somebody gets carted off the field? What are they glad that the guy got hurt?
Speaking of messed up reactions I can't stand it when a ball is hit into the Yankees dugout and the Red Sox fans cheer louder than they do after a David Oritz homerun.
Is it weird that I still eat animal crackers?
Mark had the corny joke of the week when he asked: "what's the difference between women and vultures?" Answer - Vultures wait until your dead before they eat your heart out."
Zac had the line of the week when he invited me into his fantasy hockey league because he thought that with the end of the baseball season and my loss of 30 fantasy teams that I would be looking to add a replacement.
What is it about jewish words, starting in ch, like challah and chanukah, that makes them so hard to pronounce for non jews?
Did you know that you use 5 gallons of water every time you flush the toilet?
Would somebody tell the Red Sox that falling behind 0-3 isn't going to work in the ALDS.
Friday, October 07, 2005
Fearless Football Predictions: Week 5
I took some chances last week and they backfired. Chasing 7 here's who I'm going with:
Jets over the Bucs: The Jets with Vinny Testaverde back at QB should have an improved down field passing attack. Plus the Bucs may not have Cadillac Williams which would impair their offense and make this a defensive/special teams battle. Such matchups could go either way but I think this one, with their season on their line, favors the Jets.
Saints over the Packers: I bet against the Saints for the first time last week and they burned me. That'll never happen again. At least not against the winless Packers who are so banged up physically that they recently took out a full page ad in USA Today looking for offensive lineman. Brian Berkowicz replied to the ad but was rejected.
Rams over the Seahawks: The Seahawks can't win on the road for the life of them. The Rams have a team custom made for their home dome. Rams in a shootout.
Falcons over the Patriots: Let me put this one into layman terms for you. No Harrison, no Seymour, no chance. Falcons behind the strength of their running attack.
Bills over the Dolphins: Dolphins should be favored but I like the Bills at home with new QB Kelly Holcomb giving the team a spark and getting the ball down field to WRs Eric Moulds and Lee Evans.
Broncos over the Redskins: Washington is somehow undefeated but that's not going to last. The Broncos aren't going anywhere either but the way they beat up on KC in that MNF game a few weeks ago still resonates with me.
Bengals over the Jaguars: Cincy is red hot and there's no reason to believe the banged up Jags can slow them down. Should be a high scoring game though.
Chargers over the Steelers: After destroying the Pats I think it's safe to say that the Chargers are for real. The Steelers have a great defense but I think they're overrated and the Chargers are exactly the team to expose their weaknesses. If the Steelers win though they'll jump to the top of my AFC rankings.
Ravens over the Lions: If the Lions had a backup QB you better believe he'd be starting over the disappointing Joey Harrington. Until then the Lions don't have much chance of being competitive. The Ravens in a low scoring game.
Eagles over the Cowboys: Even without K David Akers and with QB Donovan McNabb at less than 100% the Eagles are just too talented for the Cowboys. I wouldn't be surprised though if Dallas steals a win late.
Colts over 49ers: Peyton Manning fantasy owners rejoice. Order will be restored after this game.
Browns over the Bears: I hate low scoring, defensive minded football teams. Why can't everyone be more like the Giants, Colts, and Rams? This game is boring. Take the Browns at home sparked by the return of Lee Suggs in the backfield.
Panthers over the Cards: The Cardinals won by default over the God awful 49ers last week. The Panthers are too good of a football team to let the Cardinals get the best of them.
Texans over the Titans: Could be the spot that the Texans finally get their first win of the year. The Titans have played well so far but just don't have the horses to keep it up all year.
*In order to pick up ground on Brian I need the Jets, Texans, and Chargers to win.
Jets over the Bucs: The Jets with Vinny Testaverde back at QB should have an improved down field passing attack. Plus the Bucs may not have Cadillac Williams which would impair their offense and make this a defensive/special teams battle. Such matchups could go either way but I think this one, with their season on their line, favors the Jets.
Saints over the Packers: I bet against the Saints for the first time last week and they burned me. That'll never happen again. At least not against the winless Packers who are so banged up physically that they recently took out a full page ad in USA Today looking for offensive lineman. Brian Berkowicz replied to the ad but was rejected.
Rams over the Seahawks: The Seahawks can't win on the road for the life of them. The Rams have a team custom made for their home dome. Rams in a shootout.
Falcons over the Patriots: Let me put this one into layman terms for you. No Harrison, no Seymour, no chance. Falcons behind the strength of their running attack.
Bills over the Dolphins: Dolphins should be favored but I like the Bills at home with new QB Kelly Holcomb giving the team a spark and getting the ball down field to WRs Eric Moulds and Lee Evans.
Broncos over the Redskins: Washington is somehow undefeated but that's not going to last. The Broncos aren't going anywhere either but the way they beat up on KC in that MNF game a few weeks ago still resonates with me.
Bengals over the Jaguars: Cincy is red hot and there's no reason to believe the banged up Jags can slow them down. Should be a high scoring game though.
Chargers over the Steelers: After destroying the Pats I think it's safe to say that the Chargers are for real. The Steelers have a great defense but I think they're overrated and the Chargers are exactly the team to expose their weaknesses. If the Steelers win though they'll jump to the top of my AFC rankings.
Ravens over the Lions: If the Lions had a backup QB you better believe he'd be starting over the disappointing Joey Harrington. Until then the Lions don't have much chance of being competitive. The Ravens in a low scoring game.
Eagles over the Cowboys: Even without K David Akers and with QB Donovan McNabb at less than 100% the Eagles are just too talented for the Cowboys. I wouldn't be surprised though if Dallas steals a win late.
Colts over 49ers: Peyton Manning fantasy owners rejoice. Order will be restored after this game.
Browns over the Bears: I hate low scoring, defensive minded football teams. Why can't everyone be more like the Giants, Colts, and Rams? This game is boring. Take the Browns at home sparked by the return of Lee Suggs in the backfield.
Panthers over the Cards: The Cardinals won by default over the God awful 49ers last week. The Panthers are too good of a football team to let the Cardinals get the best of them.
Texans over the Titans: Could be the spot that the Texans finally get their first win of the year. The Titans have played well so far but just don't have the horses to keep it up all year.
*In order to pick up ground on Brian I need the Jets, Texans, and Chargers to win.
Thursday, October 06, 2005
Craig's Lists: Awkward Situations
No apartments for rent here. Just another hilarious list. This week it's my list of extremely awkward situations that inevitably you will find yourself in more often than not.
1. Trying to parallel park with someone sitting in the car behind where you'll wind up.
2. Having the sniffles or a cough during a big test.
3. Having your phone ring during an important meeting. Doubly awkward if it's set to a Kelly Clarkson ring tone.
4. A news caster waiting for an interviewee to say goodbye on tape delay so that they can move on but the interviewee just sitting there not knowing what to say.
5. Elevator ride after someone just ran for the elevator and you didn't try to hold it open for them.
6. Sitting in a room with someone else's friend after the mutual friend leaves the two of you alone.
7. Farting in front of strangers while in an enclosed area. (This also makes the Craigs list for funniest situational moments.)
8. Being on a date with nothing to talk about.
9. Going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from somebody you went to high school with.
10. Yelling at somebody in a fit of road rage and then being stuck next to that person at a red light.
11. While at Blockbuster having the clerk announce to everyone within ear shout that your rental of "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" is due back on Thursday.
12. Having to empty the contents of your carry on bag for everyone to see during a random security check at the airport. Doubly awkward if said contents include porno magazines, condoms, or sex toys.
1. Trying to parallel park with someone sitting in the car behind where you'll wind up.
2. Having the sniffles or a cough during a big test.
3. Having your phone ring during an important meeting. Doubly awkward if it's set to a Kelly Clarkson ring tone.
4. A news caster waiting for an interviewee to say goodbye on tape delay so that they can move on but the interviewee just sitting there not knowing what to say.
5. Elevator ride after someone just ran for the elevator and you didn't try to hold it open for them.
6. Sitting in a room with someone else's friend after the mutual friend leaves the two of you alone.
7. Farting in front of strangers while in an enclosed area. (This also makes the Craigs list for funniest situational moments.)
8. Being on a date with nothing to talk about.
9. Going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from somebody you went to high school with.
10. Yelling at somebody in a fit of road rage and then being stuck next to that person at a red light.
11. While at Blockbuster having the clerk announce to everyone within ear shout that your rental of "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" is due back on Thursday.
12. Having to empty the contents of your carry on bag for everyone to see during a random security check at the airport. Doubly awkward if said contents include porno magazines, condoms, or sex toys.
Wednesday, October 05, 2005
Warming Up To The Holidays
I used to hate the holidays with a capital H. Not believing in God or even the practicality of a concept such as religion itself, I couldn't stand the idea of wasting my time going to services or sitting through a long, drawn out meal in honor of some made up belief.
Throw in the fact that these meals don't include any fried foods, are served out of people's kitchens and not drive thrus, and undoubtedly at some point someone will be making fun of my eating habits and it's easy to see why I hated them so much. You can only sit there like a jackass, watching everyone else eat matzah ball soup for so long, until you've had enough.
Coming into the holiday season this year I felt that I was at my boiling point. I didn't even want to partake in the festivities this year even though I always enjoy seeing my relatives. I would have just preferred to be on my own, doing my own thing.
But I decided to put up with the song and dance for one more year, primarily because I realized that if I run from the holidays I'll never get any where in life. After all, how can I expect to meet a girl and get married if I won't go to her house for the holidays?
It's just something that I have to do and as long as I can control what's on the menu and ensure that there are enough side dishes that I like to eat I should be okay from here on out. It's just a shame that I didn't think of bringing non-traditional side dishes like white rice, noodles, and potatoes in past years. Instead I sat through years of chopped liver and gafilta fish. What was I thinking?
But it's all good now.
Throw in the fact that these meals don't include any fried foods, are served out of people's kitchens and not drive thrus, and undoubtedly at some point someone will be making fun of my eating habits and it's easy to see why I hated them so much. You can only sit there like a jackass, watching everyone else eat matzah ball soup for so long, until you've had enough.
Coming into the holiday season this year I felt that I was at my boiling point. I didn't even want to partake in the festivities this year even though I always enjoy seeing my relatives. I would have just preferred to be on my own, doing my own thing.
But I decided to put up with the song and dance for one more year, primarily because I realized that if I run from the holidays I'll never get any where in life. After all, how can I expect to meet a girl and get married if I won't go to her house for the holidays?
It's just something that I have to do and as long as I can control what's on the menu and ensure that there are enough side dishes that I like to eat I should be okay from here on out. It's just a shame that I didn't think of bringing non-traditional side dishes like white rice, noodles, and potatoes in past years. Instead I sat through years of chopped liver and gafilta fish. What was I thinking?
But it's all good now.
Tuesday, October 04, 2005
Baseball Season In Review
Since I'm always making crazy predictions I thought it would be a good idea to actually sit down before the season even started and make detailed, team by team predictions. That way when I claim that I called something after it happens I'll actually have written proof that I really called it.
I haven't looked at these predictions since I made them so I'm just as curious as you are to see how they turned out. Maybe I'll surprise myself and have a really high accuracy rate, perhaps indicating that I should go work for one of those baseball preview magazines.
Without further adieu here's what my crystal ball saw back in March with what actually happened/is likely to happen in parenthesis:
Playoff Teams
AL: Yankees, Red Sox, Twins, Angels - (White Sox made it over the Twins)
NL: Braves, Marlins, Cardinals, Padres - (Astros made it over the Marlins)
Awards
AL: MVP, Rodriguez; Cy Young, Santana - (Oritz/AROD; Colon)
NL: MVP, Pujols; Cy Young, Prior - (A.Jones; Carpenter/Willis)
Individual Performances
Things I Got Right:
Bartolo Colon will win 20 games for the first time in his career
Huston Street will become the A's closer
Break out year for Bluejays Sp Gustavo Chacin
Brewers as the surprise team in the NL
Career years for Brady Clark, Brandon Inge, Brian Roberts, Jeremy Bonderman
Bounce back year for Jason Giambi
Andruw Jones will set a career high in homeruns
Mark Loretta proves to be a one year wonder
Things I Got Wrong:
30/30 season for Vernon Wells
Michael Young comes back down to Earth (Won the batting title)
Cleveland's Bob Wickman loses closer's job (40+ saves)
David Eckstein will struggle in St. Louis (made the All Star team)
Big year for Carlos Beltran
*Will there you have it. Looks like I did pretty well considering how hard baseball is to predict. Check back in January to see how my football predictions panned out.
I haven't looked at these predictions since I made them so I'm just as curious as you are to see how they turned out. Maybe I'll surprise myself and have a really high accuracy rate, perhaps indicating that I should go work for one of those baseball preview magazines.
Without further adieu here's what my crystal ball saw back in March with what actually happened/is likely to happen in parenthesis:
Playoff Teams
AL: Yankees, Red Sox, Twins, Angels - (White Sox made it over the Twins)
NL: Braves, Marlins, Cardinals, Padres - (Astros made it over the Marlins)
Awards
AL: MVP, Rodriguez; Cy Young, Santana - (Oritz/AROD; Colon)
NL: MVP, Pujols; Cy Young, Prior - (A.Jones; Carpenter/Willis)
Individual Performances
Things I Got Right:
Bartolo Colon will win 20 games for the first time in his career
Huston Street will become the A's closer
Break out year for Bluejays Sp Gustavo Chacin
Brewers as the surprise team in the NL
Career years for Brady Clark, Brandon Inge, Brian Roberts, Jeremy Bonderman
Bounce back year for Jason Giambi
Andruw Jones will set a career high in homeruns
Mark Loretta proves to be a one year wonder
Things I Got Wrong:
30/30 season for Vernon Wells
Michael Young comes back down to Earth (Won the batting title)
Cleveland's Bob Wickman loses closer's job (40+ saves)
David Eckstein will struggle in St. Louis (made the All Star team)
Big year for Carlos Beltran
*Will there you have it. Looks like I did pretty well considering how hard baseball is to predict. Check back in January to see how my football predictions panned out.
Monday, October 03, 2005
Fantasy Baseball Review
I would be remiss if I referred to myself as a Fantasy God and then didn't let anybody know how I did this year. As such, here's a breakdown of the results from all my fantasy leagues:
Yahoo - Out of 14 leagues
Finished in first - 8 times
Second - 3 times
Third - Once
5th - Once
6th - Once
So as you can see I pretty much dominated except for two leagues in which injuries really hurt me.
In non yahoo leagues I beat Brian in intersport and finished in fourth place in a salary cap league on MLB.com that I only checked once.
All in all, I won 9 out of 16 leagues all because of Dontrelle Willis and Brian Roberts.
Yahoo - Out of 14 leagues
Finished in first - 8 times
Second - 3 times
Third - Once
5th - Once
6th - Once
So as you can see I pretty much dominated except for two leagues in which injuries really hurt me.
In non yahoo leagues I beat Brian in intersport and finished in fourth place in a salary cap league on MLB.com that I only checked once.
All in all, I won 9 out of 16 leagues all because of Dontrelle Willis and Brian Roberts.
Sunday, October 02, 2005
Longest Game Ever Ends In Split
West Hempstead, NY - On most weeks, players on the Gamers can expect to be home around 4 pm just in time for the late starting NFL games. This week however there would be no football watching as the first game didn't even end until 4 pm! Add in a long second game and some of the Gamers didn't get home until just before 6 o'clock, some four hours after the game started.
A back and forth slugfest in the first game that the Gamers won 28-27 on a walk off grand slam by Ian Zeigler contributed to the length of the game. But the major factor was the slow pace, a result of over 40 walks handed out by Sp Craig "Al Leiter" Shames. And that's no exaggeration. He literally walked over 40 people because Krystin, Kristen, Joanne, and Amber were trying to keep track but they had to stop after they all ran out of fingers.
Despite Shames' struggles (the result of having to pitch from further back and to a shorter than normal strike zone) the Gamers still found a way to win, coming back from two separate 8 run deficits, and finally pulling out the victory, as they always do in their last at bat.
Offensively, Rob Roll, Rob Rathbun, Scott Zimmerman (twice), and Zeigler (twice) all went yard and combined to drive in 17 of the 28 runs lead by Zeiglers' 8 rbis. Also sparking the Gamers offense was, Billy Bezouska, who some how managed to pick up successive 2 rbi triples in his first two at bats even though one of the hits was an infield single and the other a bloop down the right field line.
In the second game, the Gamer's looked tired after having played for so long in the first game and it showed at the plate as their bats went cold in a 18-10 loss. They did rally for six runs in the fourth inning as the Corner Pub's pitcher struggled with the strike zone, walking in two runs, but eventually he settled down and managed to hold the Gamers to just three more runs over the last three innings.
On the day, Brian Malfettone was perfect going 6 for 6, and Zimmerman almost perfect with 7 hits in his 8 at bats. Greg Roll 4 for 7 with 2 walks, Dave Roll 4 for 9 with 3 runs, and Scott Goldsmith scoring 3 runs while filling in at third base, added to the Gamer's attack. Zac Nicholson picked up the win in relief of Shames with Rathbun getting the hold after striking out the only batter he faced. He then promptly announced his retirement so that he can say he struck out the only batter he ever pitched to.
The Gamers are now 6-2 on the year after splitting the last two weeks against the two top teams in the division. They'll look to get back to sweeping teams when they meet the Shockers next week for the first time this year.
A back and forth slugfest in the first game that the Gamers won 28-27 on a walk off grand slam by Ian Zeigler contributed to the length of the game. But the major factor was the slow pace, a result of over 40 walks handed out by Sp Craig "Al Leiter" Shames. And that's no exaggeration. He literally walked over 40 people because Krystin, Kristen, Joanne, and Amber were trying to keep track but they had to stop after they all ran out of fingers.
Despite Shames' struggles (the result of having to pitch from further back and to a shorter than normal strike zone) the Gamers still found a way to win, coming back from two separate 8 run deficits, and finally pulling out the victory, as they always do in their last at bat.
Offensively, Rob Roll, Rob Rathbun, Scott Zimmerman (twice), and Zeigler (twice) all went yard and combined to drive in 17 of the 28 runs lead by Zeiglers' 8 rbis. Also sparking the Gamers offense was, Billy Bezouska, who some how managed to pick up successive 2 rbi triples in his first two at bats even though one of the hits was an infield single and the other a bloop down the right field line.
In the second game, the Gamer's looked tired after having played for so long in the first game and it showed at the plate as their bats went cold in a 18-10 loss. They did rally for six runs in the fourth inning as the Corner Pub's pitcher struggled with the strike zone, walking in two runs, but eventually he settled down and managed to hold the Gamers to just three more runs over the last three innings.
On the day, Brian Malfettone was perfect going 6 for 6, and Zimmerman almost perfect with 7 hits in his 8 at bats. Greg Roll 4 for 7 with 2 walks, Dave Roll 4 for 9 with 3 runs, and Scott Goldsmith scoring 3 runs while filling in at third base, added to the Gamer's attack. Zac Nicholson picked up the win in relief of Shames with Rathbun getting the hold after striking out the only batter he faced. He then promptly announced his retirement so that he can say he struck out the only batter he ever pitched to.
The Gamers are now 6-2 on the year after splitting the last two weeks against the two top teams in the division. They'll look to get back to sweeping teams when they meet the Shockers next week for the first time this year.
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Week In Review
Random thoughts from the last week:
You know that you're only a few years away from machines taking over the world when you're microwave stops defrosting a steak half way through the alloted time and then verbally tells you that the steak needs to be flipped over.
What's the big deal about downloading music? Isn't that the equivalent of renting a movie or taking out a book at the library? How come you can read a book without buying one and watch a movie without owning it but can't listen to music without buying the cd?
Why do some people insist on asking, "you know what I'm saying?" after everything they say? I'm pretty sure I know what you're saying. You just said it ten seconds ago.
Why does ESPN post the score of the game you are watching on the running ticker of scores at the bottom of the screen? I'm pretty sure I know the score. I'm watching that game.
What's up with people who say the letter o when referring to the number zero? O is not a number. It's a letter. Zero is a number. Get it right.
Did you know that the voice of Kit, the car from Knight Rider, is actually Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World?
Rob had the line of the week when while at Hooters on Friday night he took one look around the room and was like, "damn they shouldn't call this place Hooters anymore. They should call it Asses." Brian Malfettone then had the gayest line of the week when he said, "why's that? Because of all the guys that are here?"
You know that you're only a few years away from machines taking over the world when you're microwave stops defrosting a steak half way through the alloted time and then verbally tells you that the steak needs to be flipped over.
What's the big deal about downloading music? Isn't that the equivalent of renting a movie or taking out a book at the library? How come you can read a book without buying one and watch a movie without owning it but can't listen to music without buying the cd?
Why do some people insist on asking, "you know what I'm saying?" after everything they say? I'm pretty sure I know what you're saying. You just said it ten seconds ago.
Why does ESPN post the score of the game you are watching on the running ticker of scores at the bottom of the screen? I'm pretty sure I know the score. I'm watching that game.
What's up with people who say the letter o when referring to the number zero? O is not a number. It's a letter. Zero is a number. Get it right.
Did you know that the voice of Kit, the car from Knight Rider, is actually Mr. Feeney from Boy Meets World?
Rob had the line of the week when while at Hooters on Friday night he took one look around the room and was like, "damn they shouldn't call this place Hooters anymore. They should call it Asses." Brian Malfettone then had the gayest line of the week when he said, "why's that? Because of all the guys that are here?"
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