Weekly Twilight Zone Update

The crazy continues with one of my busiest weeks yet. Here's a look back at all the eerie examples from this week:

First off, there was yet another Entrouage tie in as last week's episode featured the guys reuniting with an old buddy of theirs from New York who just got out of prison. The guy handed Eric a script that he had written while in the slammer. That seemed odd to me since this is the first time that the show has introduced any characters from Vince's past and the first one that they do just so happens to do the one thing that I really want to do and that's write a movie script.

Speaking of screenwriting, I was watching a little bit of Forrest Gump, a movie which I hadn't seen in quite some time, over the weekend. The very next day I was flipping through one of the screenwriting books that I had taken out from the library and just so happened to stop on a page talking about characterization that coincidentally used Forrest Gump as an examle of a unique and well developed character.

During the week I went food shopping at Publix and this mom got guilted into pulling her twin daughters these litle Winne the Poo teddy bears that were dangling from a display in front of one of the aisles. I could tell that she was mad at the upper management of Publix for displaying these teddy bears but at that point had no choice but to buy them or risk having her kids cry for the rest of the night. The very next day my co-worker Karl brought in a bottle of honey to add to his tea.

While at work on Friday I was listening to a podcast about Lost as usual and at the exact moment that one of the speakers said the word scavenger I came across a chapter in the book that I was working on entitled 'Oxygen Scavengers'.

Monday while watching the USA network there was a promo for the return of Monk on Friday night July 7th. I immediately thought to myself what a dumb idea that was since no one is going to be home that night since they'll all be at opening night of Pirates of the Caribbean 2. Just as the words were coming out of my mouth a commercial for the movie aired immediately thereafter.

During the week I was talking to my co-worker about Dick Cheney and his company, Haliburton. Later that same day I listened to a Lewis Black bit about Cheney and his company, Haliburton.

If you're still not sold yet that I'm living in the Twilight Zone then this final example well surely change your mind. Brian and I were talking about how Peter Gammons is during the week after watching him report during a baseball game. I was inspired by this conversation and actually wrote the following joke for my Week In Review section: I think that Peter Gammons and Dick Clark should be at the forefront of the movement to clean up the environment. After all, the excesses of mankind won't be affecting their grandchildren like it will ours. It'll actually be affecting them! The very next day Gammons was hospitalized with a brain aneurysm. Now what say you to that?

NBA Draft Recap

Some random thoughts after watching the NBA Draft last night:

First off, how funny was it to see commissioner David Stern announce trades as if they were breaking news when ESPN had already announced them hours before? Quite honestly I was surprised that Stern didn't let us know that the U.S. had just captured Saddam Hussein.

Also, I think it's really pathetic that the players have to wear the cap of the team that they get drafted by even if they already know that they've been traded to another team. That's about as pointless as using a condom when having sex with a pregnant lady.

The highlight of the night was definitely the exchange between ESPN host Dan Patrick and commissioner Stern. It all started when Patrick and his co-hosts ripped several picks. Stern then came out and before making the next pick said some kind of snide comment. Patrick then had the greatest comeback of all time when he said, "you know, I've always liked (NFL commissioner) Tagliabue better."

Move over Dwayne Wade. Rudy Gay is about to take over your title of having the highest selling jersey in the NBA. After all, every fudgepacker from Ryan Seacrest to Mike Piazza is going to want one of his jersies to show off their gay pride.

Speaking of Gay does his fall in the draft mean that every team that passed over him was homophobic?

After Rutgers guard Quincy Douby got drafted did anybody else immediately think back to that old Budweiser ad campaign when they had a bunch of penguins singing, 'Doby, doby, do"?

How long do you think it'll be until someone asks Shaquielle O'Neal to comment on number one overall pick Andrea Bargnani and he responds by saying that he thought that was the name of the horse who beat Barbaro in the Preakness?

The biggest shock of the night was the Knicks passing over UCONN point guard Marcus Williams with the 20th pick in favor or taking some guy that no one has ever heard of before. Perhaps Thomas thought he was picking Rolando Blackman and not Renaldo Balkman.

2006 NBA Mock Draft

Any draft is a crapshoot but this year more so than ever. With no high school players in the mix there's no depth whatsoever. Here's a look at my top ten picks since that's about the point I stop recognizing names.

1. Toronto Raptors: Andrea Bargnani (7-1 PF, Italy) - All the proof you need is in the front office as the Raptors just hired an Italian league GM as their new GM.

2. Chicago Bulls: Tyrus Thomas (6-8 PF, LSU) - This could have been the Knicks pick but instead they'll sit back and watch as the Bulls take the best athlete in the draft.

3. Charlotte Bobcats: Brandon Roy (6-6 SG, Washington) - Just like Chris Paul last year, the best player in this year's draft will be a perimeter player. Roy could very well be the next Ray Allen.

4. Portland Trailblazers: Adam Morrison (6-8 SF, Gonzaga) - The Trailblazers have never been one to shy away from a controversial draftpick as witnessed by their collection of high school talent so it should come as no surprise when they take Morrison, the draft's purest small forward.

5. Altanta Hawks: LaMarcus Aldridge (6-11 PF, Texas) - The Hawks are desperate for size and will be estatic to get a guy who earlier in the year was projected to go as high as #1.

6. Minnesota Timberwolves: Rudy Gay (6-8 SF, Connecticut) - It seems like the T-wolves haven't had a first round pick since taking Kevin Garnett straight from high school thanks to the fallout from the ill fated signing of Joe Smith. In their return to the lottery they could get a guy, who like Roy, could be one of the best players to come out of the draft.

7. Boston Celtics: Randy Foye (6-3 SG, Villanova) - The Celtics needs backcourt help after starting Delante West for most of last year. Foye could be a great fit for them.

8. Houston Rockets: Marcus Williams (6-3 PG, Connecticut) - The Rockets desperately need a PG and could take Kentucky's Rondo but I have a feeling that they could reach for Williams whose the best pure pass first point guard in this draft.

9. Golden State Warriors: Cedric Simmons (6-10 PF, NC State) - The Warriors always seem to wind up with athletic big men who never materialize to anything and this year's Adonal Foyle is Simmons whose stock is on the rise of late.

10. Seattle Sonics: Thabo Sefolosha (6-6 SF, Switzerland) - The Sonics are not afriad to draft polished European players as witnessed by the success they had with Vladimir Radmonovich. This could be the spot for them to take such a player or another big man like Bradley's seven foot center Patrick O'Bryant.

And in case you were wondering about the Knicks, I'll just tell you that I have a feeling they'll take Duke guard J.J. Redick with the 20th overall pick. After all, Redick probably has the least upside out of anybody in the draft which is exactly why the Knicks will take him. With their second pick they will proceed to take a European player that no one has ever heard of before.

From A To Z

If you need to get caught up on what's being talked about in the world of sports, entertainment, science, and politics then you've come to the right place. Throw in a few updates about my personal life and you have some food for thought 26 different ways.

A - Aquaman: From the 'I can't believe this really happened' department some idiots recently asked Director James Cameron when the movie, Aquaman, was coming out. Aquaman of course isn't a real movie, just one they made up on Entourage. Although, come to think of it I would go see this movie if it were a real movie and actually starred Adrien Grenier and Mandy Moore in it.

B - Burnlounge.com: If you're into the music scene check out this up and coming website that is probably going to blow up world wide very soon. The way that it works is that you can create your very own music store and then everytime someone buys something you actually get a percentage of the sale. It costs about $25 a month to own a store so conceivably if you sell a lot of cds at $2.00 a pop you can make a huge profit with very little work involved. Then, and this is the best part, you can have people work under you so that every time someone buys something from their store they get money and you also get some. Eventually you can have an entire team under you and you can just sit back and watch the money pour in.

C - California here I come!: If this whole teaching thing doesn't work out my next plan is to move to California in pursuit of becoming a full time Hollywood script writer. I know it sounds crazy but I have two great ideas in production already and it may not be long before I have sold my first script. More on that later.

D - Delta park project: Sounds like a cool name for a band but it's really a pop culture podcast that I've been listening to at work. They even have a specific show all about Lost. So check it out at www.deltaparkproject.com.

E - Espy Awards Gone Mad: ESPN's sports awards show is one of my favorite awards shows but this year I think they've got it all wrong. After all, in a year in which the Olympics took place Olympic athletes are severely under represented. For example, how is someone like Sasha Cohen not in the discussion for best female athlete? And on the male side how is Vince Young listed but not Reggie Bush? LeBron James sure. But where is Dwayne Wade? How about Roger Federer? Who chose these nominees?

F - FX contest doesn't work out: Brian and I entered a FX contest through myspace that was searching for the next great sitcom. They think they have a good one with It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia and as such wanted to look for another homegrown show in that same fashion. Unfortunately, our entry didn't do so well. You can check it out here at: http://imaheadcase.blogspot.com/2006/06/grumpy-young-men-check-out-audition.html

G - Guys Night Out on the way: As I mentioned before I have a few movie ideas in the early stages of production. The first one that I'm co-writing with Brian is going to be called Guys Night Out and will be about four friends who have one last crazy night out before one of them moves out of town. It's going to be a cross between American Pie and Wedding Crashers.

H - Hurricane season: It's already here and as a result I've had six consecutive softball games rained out. Let the record show that I officially hate Hurricane season.

I - iTunes: I never thought that this day would come but let the record also show that I love iTunes. I'm not a big music guy or fan of macs but now that I've been listening to Lost podcasts, comedy shows, and alternative msuic stations at work I can't get enough of it. It might even be enough motivation for me to stay on my assignment longer than originally planned.

J - John Hodgman is the man: If you're looking for the next breakout star in Hollywood it's Hodgman who plays the PC in those commercial spots for Macintosh in which the kid from Dodgeball plays the Mac. He's also done work for the Daily Show with Jon Stewart and has only scratched the surface of his potential.

K - Knicks: That was the punchline. The joke - which NBA team sucks more than Paris Hilton. As if playing the way they did last year wasn't bad enough things got worse, much worse, this offseason when the pick that they traded to the Bulls for Eddy Curry turned into the #2 overall pick in the draft and they topped that off by firing Hall of Fame coach Larry Brown and replacing him with GM Isiah Thomas. What is owner James Dolan thinking?

L - Lost experience: Well you knew I couldn't go an entire list without mentioning Lost at least once. This is a worthy mention though since it'll serve notice that this summer the producers are running an interactive game referred to as the Lost Experience. Through various websites and 1800 numbers players can retrieve clues about the show as the game delves deeper into the show's mythology. Unfortunatley, not even I have time for such a game but I'm sure I'll read a recap about it at the end of the summer.

M - Meetups.com: This is a cool site that brings people together by arranging meeting places for people with similar interests. I was hoping they would have meetups for crop circles and Lost but unfortunately the closest thing I could find was a meetup for people who have gotten lost in crop fields.

N - NBA Draft: The countdown to the biggest day of Russell's life is at t-minus 1 day and counting. Check back tomorrow for my Mock Draft.

O - Ozzie Guillen goes off the deep end: I still haven't stopped laughing after hearing that the White Sox manager will have to attend mandatory sensitivity training for making homophobic remarks to a Chicago Tribune columnist. Always remember Ozzie, that your anger is the one thing that you can't get rid of by losing it.

P - Pirates of the Caribbean 2 almost here!: Even though I know it won't be as good as the first one I still can't wait. In fact, if given the choice between watching this movie and having sex with twins I would chose watching this movie even if I had to sit between two fat guys and behind a tall guy with a hat.

Q - Queen of Mean now #1: I have a new favorite comedian and it's none other than the Queen of Mean, Lisa Lampanelli. If you haven't heard her stuff you have really got to check it out. It's better than sex. Or so I hear.

R - RV's!!: And no I'm not talking about that crappy ass Robin Williams movie. I'm talking about the fact that if I can't become a teacher I might just buy a RV and travel around the country!

S - Summer reading list: My goal is to read 'Bad Twin' which is all about the mythology of Lost. If I get really ambitious I might read some of the other classics that are mentioned throughout the show but it's more likely that if I read anything else it'll be the next Clive Cussler novel.

T - Teaching update: No job yet although I have applied for a job fair in mid July in which Broward County does all their last mintue hiring. So, I really hope that I can get into that fair and get hired on the spot.

U - Utube: This is another great website that allows you to view pretty much any video clip ever made. You can also post your own original material to it as Brian and I did with our FX contest audition tape. Check it out at www.youtube.com.

V - Video games and Congress: The fact that Capitol Hill even held congressional sessions to debate whether or not video games lead to violence is enough to make me blow a gasket. When you then hear how out of date these politicians are you want to shoot yourself. One senator referred to himself as a 'gamer' because he once played pong thirty years ago! Come on now! These senators need to get in touch with society because they are so far removed from reality that it's not even funny. After all, video games don't lead to violence. Watching the six o'clock news does.

W - World Cup update: Just for the record I'm picking Brazil to win it all. And that's just because I know South Florida will be going crazy if they do.

X - Xmen spinoffs: There's talk about making spinoff movies for popluar xmen characters such as Magneto and Wolverine. I don't really care one way or the other. I just needed something to talk about that started with the letter X.

Y - Yankees update: They are still alive despite the potentially devastating injuries to Hideki Matsui and Gary Sheffield. As such they'll do whatever they can to hold on until those guys can come back. Which means that they will be big players at the trading deadline. My prediction - acquiring a frontline starter like the Braves John Smoltz and a veteran outfielder like Reggie Sanders.

Z -Z100 is now in South Florida: See 'X'.

David Eckstein Is On 'Roids and Other Absurd Sports Assertions

Okay, I lied about that one. But I do have a shocking claim to make about steriods in baseball. And you may want to sit down for this one for I'm about to suggest that the Sultan of Swat, George Herman Babe Ruth, used steriods back in the day.

Now you may be saying to yourself that I have no idea what I'm talking about since steriods weren't around until decades after the Bambino retired. But what if they were around? What if the Babe was given an experimental drug to try out? A drug that years later we would come to know as steriods. The way I see it such a scenario is certainly possible since the Babe hung out with unsavory characters. What if he was convinced by such characters to try out a new drug? After all, how else do you explain how someone who didn't work out and had horrible eating habits could hit the ball 600 feet and hit more homeruns by himself than entire teams were hitting in a supposed dead ball era?

The next assertion that I want to make is in honor of the World Cup that is completely galvanizing the attention of the entire world right now. In other words it's like a real life Quidditch. Which is why I think that it should be used to settle world disputes. If it can bring peace to the Ivory Coast then why not to the Middle East? What if we chose to settle the War on Terror not on American soil nor Iraqi battlefields but rather on a soccer field? What if troop withdrawal in Iraq wasn't decided by a Congressional resolution but by a penalty kick? Who needs a shootout on the streets of Baghdad when you can have a shootout on the soccer field to decided things. If it was up to me I would take the U.S. soccer team and pit them against the Iraqi team and if the U.S. wins Iraq installs a democratic government and if Iraq wins the U.S. withdraws and Iraq is left to their own governing devices. Now that's a soccer match even I would watch.

If you want to read about even more absurd sports assertions, such as the fact that the UFC is fixed, then check back next week when I talk about that and how the World Series of Poker should be an Olympic event. After all, some ideas are so crazy that they might just work.

Girlfriend of the Week: Kate Hudson

I was surprised to learn that in six months of picking girlfriends of the week that I had yet to pick one of my all time favorites, Kate Hudson. So when the guys on Entourage were talking about giving Vince an Almost Famous moment on last week's episode I knew right then that I had my excuse to finally choose Kate.

Sure I could have just waited for the next romantic comedy to come out this summer since chances were pretty good that she would be in it since all romantic comedies these days star either her or Matthew McCounaghey. But I don't have the patience for that. In fact, I don't even have the patience right now to sit here and type so I'm going to head out and start getting ready for my softball game.

Come on Kate, what do you see in this assclown? What does he have that I don't aside from talent and money?

Goldie Hawn's pride and joy walking the Red Carpet.

Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

After watching the NBA Finals, I don't think that Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki is capable of moving forward. I mean the man even fades away during dunks. During dunks! How pathetic is that? After watching him play I'm willing to bet that he can't even swim forward. He's probably only capable of doing a dead man's float. And during sex he probably can't even do it in the missionary position. Just reverse cowgirl while he lays on his back.

I wonder what would happen if I go to Taco Bell and order a Nacho Libre?

Hugh Jackman really missed the boat. With a name like that he should have entered porn.

How is Playboy magazine considered pornography but an anatomy textbook is not? Have you ever seen how graphic those books are?

After listening to comedy on iTunes the last few weeks all I have to say is that Dennis Miller sucks. But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

The thing that I don't understand about Islam is this belief that you get 72 virgins if you die as a Martyr. I guess it's supposed to be motivation for people to become martyrs but if that's the case wouldn't it make more sense to say that you get 72 whores? I mean wouldn't people prefer to spend the rest of eternity with nasty sluts who will do anything they want rather than with a bunch of virgins who are inexperienced and don't know what they're doing?

I hate when peole say 'if I may' after making a statement. As if someone is actually going to reply 'no you may not'. And if someone did say that how would that person respond?

Vengeance Preview

The WWE is really starting to pick up with the return of DX and ECW. Here's a look at my Shames-o-matic predictions for their next Raw ppv event this Sunday:

John Cena over Sabu - In head to head matchups ECW has been coming out ahead largely due to the fact that they have to come across as being a strong brand or otherwise they won't last long. However, since Cena just lost to RVD I can't see him losing again unless of course there's outside interference which is almost a certainty. Cena via DQ.

Randy Orton over Kurt Angle - Angle looks unstoppable in ECW since choke holds are legal but I have a feeling that Orton will come out ahead since the match is under WWE rules and he needs a win to cement his place as a main eventer on Raw.

Mic Foley over Ric Flair - This once could go either way since there's so much real life tension between the two but I have a feeling that Foley will win with help from Edge and Lita.

Edge over RVD - This one is for the WWE Title and as such it's obvious that Edge will bring it back to Raw. Or is it? I have a feeling that Edge could win and jump ship to ECW ensuring that the title stays there. Either way Edge wins.

Carlito over Shelton Benjamin and Johnny Nitro - Benjamin makes a good champion but it wouldn't suprise me if Carlito wins since he's finally over with the fans after an icy reception at first. Nitro has no shot.

Fake Kane over Kane - Hasn't officially been added yet to the card but I have a feeling that it will. And when it does Kane will lose to his former masked version allowing him to come back with that very same mask back on. As in he was fighting himself and his darker side won.

DX over the Spirit Squad - DX is back with HHH and HBK reuniting. Even though it's a 5 on 2 handicap match they should win easily. Although it's possible new members will help them I strongly doubt it.

Umaga over Eugene - Yet another squash match for this Somoan Joe rip off.

Weekly Twilight Zone Update

I've been so entwined this week with listening to Lost podcasts on ITunes that quite honestly I haven't really been paying attention to see if there are any freaky coincidences occuring. I did however notice this big one:

During this week's episode of entourage when Ari walks into his office during a heat wave his assistant Lloyd tells him that it's 98 degrees according to his widget. Ari then says what the hell is a widget and goes off on a tangent about them in typical Ari fashion. That's weird because on Friday at work I was talking to my co-worker Karl about widgets, what they were, and how to get them. Prior to that I had never heard of them. What are the odds that three days after I find out what widgets are they appear on an episode of my favorite sitcom?

Craig's Lists: You Might Be Gay If

No apartments for rent here. Just another hilarious list. This week I'm going to be taking a look at things you might do if you were gay.

You might be gay if:

You have a subscription to Men's Health.

You've worn thong underwear or a speedo.

You hang out at South Beach.

Your name is Richard Simmons or Ryan Seacrest.

Your favorite shows are American Idol, America's Next Top Model, Extreme Home Makeover Edition, and Dancing with the Stars.

You're a fan of men's tennis.

You actually have a fashion sense.

You sit with your legs crossed.

You pee sitting down.

You wear scarfs.

You correct other people's grammar.

You've gotten a manicure or pedicure.

You've ridden on a vesba.

Your ultimate dream job is professional dog walker.

You watch the Food Network regularly.

You're familar with Peter North's earlier work.

You don't play sports but you like to go roller blading on occasion.

Shames = Championships

With the Miami Heat putting the finishing touches on their first championship in team history last night it's now official. Having a member of the Shames family in your town guarantees a championship. Think about it.

I grew up in New York and during my tenure there the New York Rangers ended a 54 year Stanley Cup drought when they won in 1994. It was around that same time that the New York Knicks had a successful run and made it to the NBA Finals against the Houston Rockets. And then of course the New York Yankees pulled off the upset in 1996 against the Atlanta Braves on their way to the first of four World Series wins.

However, I then left to go to school in Boston and ever since then the Yankees have failed to win the World Series. Where as Boston teams have won and won and won some more. First off, the New England Patriots won not one not two but three Super Bowls creating a modern day dynasty that would not have been possible had I not moved there. And if three Super Bowls weren't enough what about the Boston Red Sox ending the infamous curse and finally winning the World Series in 2004? Come on now, I think I'm on to something.

If you don't believe me yet then check out what has happened since I've moved to Florida. In only three months the Florida Gators won the NCAA Ttournament and most recently the Miami Heat won the NBA Title. If you consider the fact that the Shames family has been living down in Florida since the late 1980's then you could also credit the Florida Marlins World Series wins in 1997 and 2003, the Tampa Bay Lightning's Stanley Cup in 2004, the Tampa Bay Bucaneers recent Super Bowl win and countless college championships for the Miami Hurricanes, Florida State Seminoles, and Florida Gators to my dad and grandparents.

I can even go so far as to say that my sister has the magic touch as well since the Baltimore Ravens won the Super Bowl and the Maryland Terrapins won the NCAA Tournament while she was living down there. And the Philadelphia 76ers even made it to the NBA Finals while she was at UPENN.

And if I really wanted to I could branch out to distant relatives and credit my cousin Kenny in Arizona with helping the Arizona Diamondbacks win the World Series in 2001. You could even say that he helped the Phoenix Suns get to the NBA Finals under Charles Barkley during the first year that he had moved out there.

But it's not just taking up residence in a state that leads to championships. In some cases just passing through works just as effectively. Case in point, my flight to New York two weeks ago was delayed for five hours in Charlestown, South Carolina. 10 days later and the Carolina Hurricanes are the Stanley Cup champions.

So as you can see having a Shames live in your state pretty much guarantees you a chance to win or at least make it to the finals of your respective sport. And the magic has so far worked in all four major sports as well as collegiate athletics. I'm not sure why my family has the magic touch. All I know is that Shames equals championships.

World Cup Fever

I don't have it. And neither should you. Not unless you were already a soccer fan to begin with. Otherwise it's just another excuse to stay up late, miss work, and party like it's 1985. And while everyone else may need an excuse to miss work I do not. I already have an entire list of excuses waiting anxiously for their turn to be used.

Now, don't get me wrong. I actually think that the World Cup is a great idea and I'm a big fan of it in theory. After all, whenever a majority of the nations of the world can come together in an international event and compete against one another for national pride it's going to be a great thing. The level of interest in this event worldwide is exactly what organizers have always hoped that the Olympics would become. Unfortunatley for them it hasn't exactly been that way since no one is going to be entering an office pool and betting on curling anytime soon.

Soccer on the other hand has taken on a life of it's own. There is even peace in the Ivory Coast for the first time in years which is truly remarkable. And as long as people don't take this thing too seriously and start rioting and killing each other over it I'm all for it. How can you not be?

On the other hand the thing that I'm not all for are all you posers out there who are just jumping on the World Cup bandwagon since the Miami Heat bandwagon was already full. These are the type of people who say corny things like, "I'm really getting into it." These are probably the same people who vote twenty times for their favorite contestant in American Idol, who actually watch Deal or No Deal, and who probably have had plastic surgery. These are the people in other words who only do things because society tells them to or because they want to be in on the conversation at the water cooler. And that's not a reason to do anything.

As I'm sure you all know I'm not one to conform with society. I don't catch fevers during international competitions or when a hot new show comes out. I do my own thing, form my own opinions, and let my own interests form my tastes. In other words I stay true to myself. And I encourage everyone else to do the same. Which is why it bothers me when everyone else sells out for two weeks every four years.

If you're not regularly a soccer fan then don't pretend to like it just because everyone you know is talking about it. If you can name more members of the Jackson Five than you can members of the U.S. team then don't call yourself a soccer fan. If you can't tell Landon Donovan apart from Billy Donovan then you have no business taking off from work to watch a game. And if you can't pick Eddie Johnson out of a police lineup don't even bother entering the conversation around the water cooler. And that's all I've got to say about that.

Team Oren Decimated By Injurires

Davie, Fl -

With 9 regulars either hurt or missing in action Team Oren was down to three players at the start of Sunday's game against the black team. Those three players (Craig, Joe, and Kevin) refused to forfeit and actually challenged the black team to take them on 10 on 3.

The way that would have worked was that someone on the other team would have played catcher, Kevin would have pitched and ran over to cover first base on any grounders, Joe would have played the left side of the infield, and Craig would have covered the entire outfield by himself. Unfortunatley the black team wanted none of that plan and nixed the idea leading to Team Oren taking a forfeit.

However, since one of the other teams on the north field also forfeited the schedule was reworked so that the two teams that actuaully had enough players could play each other and the two teams that forfeited could possibly play a makeup game at another date. So basically we haven't offiically forfeited yet.

In other news, Craig, Joe, and Sam were recruited to help out the yellow team during their 6 o'clock matchup with the teal team. With Oren watching on, Craig and Joe roomed the outfield and combined to go 3 for 5 with 2 runs and 5 rbis to carry the yellow team's offense. Meanwhile, Sam set up a 4 run game winning rally in the third inning with a sacrifice hit.

Next week, weather permitting, Team Oren will look to get back to their winning ways although doing so will be difficult since they will be without Kevin, Oren, and Seth who may be out for the year with a broken foot.

Girlfriend of the Week: The Olsen Twins

As you have probably figured out by now I like to make sure that the girl that I pick as my girlfriend of the week have some relevance. I.e. there has to be a reason why I chose that person in that given week. Well since this week is father's day I thought that it would be a good idea to pick a girl that has a father. And since that includes everybody I pretty much have a free pass to pick whoever I want this week.

As such, I thought I would fire up the way back machine and go back to a time when the Olsen Twins were actually relevant. I know it's been a while since they are now in college and Mary Kate is in and out of eating disorder clinics but if it were up to me they would still be on the cover of every tabloid magazine. I guess the reason that they are not is that nobody really cares about them now that they are legal and there's nothing left to count down to.

But if it's countdowns you like then it's countdowns you'll get. How about I start a new countdown right now. T minus 4 days and counting until my greatest post ever.

The girls back when people actually cared about them....

Since it's father's day I guess Bob Saget deserves some credit for raising such great girls. (Coke snorting, wild partying, and eating disorders aside)

Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

I don't know why people bother buying bananas. They are pretty much guaranteed to go bad before you can eat them. If you want to have something sit on your countertop that's going to go bad you might as well just buy yourself flowers. At least that way you'll have something pretty to look at.

Whenever I go food shopping I always get the shopping cart with the broken wheel. Not even my luck can be that bad. I'm beginning to think that they don't even have any carts that aren't broken!

I love nectarines.

I think that if Good Year Tires made sneakers I would buy them. You just know that those suckers are going to last a long ass time.

The first thing that everyone said to me when I went home last weekend was, 'wow you've lost weight!' OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO LOSE WEIGHT. You try living on your own when you don't know how to cook and let me know how it goes.

Do you have to get your priest a gift on father's day?

I don't get soccer fans. I was getting lunch at McDonald's this week and the guy ahead of me online kept looking over his shoulder at the tv monitors to check the action in one of the World Cup games. I felt like telling him not to bother since it's soccer and the score was probably 0-0. Chances were that when he got back to his seat it would still be 0-0! Nothing ever happens in soccer. Worst sport ever.

Is there anything more frustrating than watching a movie with a voice over and spending the entire time trying to figure out where you know that voice from? That was me trying to figure out who was playing the Beast in Xmen 3.

Is there a bigger double standard than Republicans being for the death penalty but against abortion?

Weekly Twilight Zone Update

The craziness continues and this week it crosses the line as Pittsburgh Steelers QB Ben Roethlisberger gets into a motorcycle accident and breaks his nose and jaw, injures his knees, and gets a gash on the back of his head. This after Roethlisberger made an appearance on Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN radio earlier that day to talk about, well, nothing. Which bothered me for some strange reason and I said to myself, 'I can't stand it when people appear on talk shows for no apparent reason. If Roethlisberger is going to be in the news it damn well better be for a good reason." Six hours later he had got into a car accident while on his motorcycle. I think I may have caused that accident.

Other strange coincidences this past week include:

Brian making a joke on Wednesday night about Bed, Bath, and Beyond as an obvious reference to the movie Old School. Later that night I found a coupon to Bed, Bath, and Beyond that had come in the mail earlier in the week.

Brian also started doing an Andrew Dice Clay impersonation for his comedy routine. Then during work on Thursday I heard for the very first time on the comedy podcast that I listen to a bit by, none other than, Andrew Dice Clay. I swear that I had never heard him before until Brian mentioned him and then the very next day he suddenly appears.

Even more Chris O'Donnell references. It all started about a month ago when the Twilight Zone first started appearing. I dreamnt that I was on Jeopardy and the final jeopardy answer was Chris O'Donnell. That next morning I turned on the tv while getting ready, something I never do, and at that exact moment Chris O'Donnell appeared on screen in the movie the Three Musketeers. Since then there have been two more O'Donnell references. Last week I was in the book store buying 'Bad Twin' which is a tie in to 'Lost' and two people ahead of me on line were talking about Chris O'Donnell for some strange reason. Then at work this past Friday he appeared on the cover of a magazine in the lunch room because he is going to be a new doctor on Grey's Anatomy. What's up with all this Chris O'Donnell business?

And as always there is usually an actual reference to the Twilight Zone each week and this week while watching an ECW event there was a promo for a couple of episodes of the Twilight Zone that were going to be airong in the SciFi channel. Interesting.

Music Mania

As most of you know I've never liked music. In fact, I'm probably the only person in the entire world who doesn't own a single cd. For the longest time the only exposure that I had to music was my sister's collection of Mariah Carey and Michael Bolton cd's. If my life was a soundtrack it would be the boring crap that radio stations play on loop during the graveyard shift. Pathetic, I know.

Now, I'm not sure why I've never taken to music. Perhaps it's the fact that I have so many baseball statistics in my head that there's simply no room for music lyrics. Or maybe all those years of listening to my sister's god awful singing during car rides has scared me for life. Who knows? All I know is that when I hear Gnarls Barkley I immediately think of Charles Barkley.

That's all changed since I started working at Taylor and Francis where in an attempt to keep what little sanity I have left I've started listening to music and comedy on ITunes. What I've discovered is that I actually have likes and dislikes, interests and disinterests.

The list below is a short compilation of who I've been listening to. Better late than never as I like to say. Let me know if there's anybody else that I would like.

The hot list in no particular order:

Tool
Fuel
Any other band with four letters having to do with cars
U2
Lincoln Park
Red hot Chili Peppers
Foo Fighters
Shinedown
Yellow Card
William Hung
Good Charlotte
Greenday
Buckcherry
Disturbed
Fall Out Boy
Breaking Benjamin
Black Eyed Peas
Evansence
Aerosmith
Kelly Clarkson
Goo goo dolls
Nickleback

*On a personal note I would like to take this opportunity to say that I am vehemently opposed to the music of Dave Matthews Band for the simple fact that I don't like people who name their band after themselves. That's worse than giving your child the same name that you have. It's egotistical and shows a lack of creativity and it needs to stop.

Grumpy Young Men

Check out the audition tape that Brian and I made for a FX contest looking for the next great sitcom.

In Defense of Canada

As promised here's the debut of one of my new features entitled 'In Defense Of' in which from time to time I will defend a person, place, or thing that society has been ganging up on. Up first is everyone's favorite punching bag, our neighbors to the north, Canada.

Now I'm not sure why but everywhere you look someone is ripping on the Canucks. Right now there are probably thousands of people scattered throughout the continental United States that are shitting on Canada. Some of them are probably even literally shitting on it. They are crossing over the border, pulling their pants down, and dropping the Cosby's off at the pool.

The fact that Canada is the brunt of jokes from stand up comedians or locals in bars is not what concerns me. What draws my ire is that Conan O'Brien has sent Triumphant the Insult Comic Dog to Quebec, Maxim has sent a team of reporters on undercover missions, and there's even been a movie, Canadian Bacon, that just rips on Canada for 90 plus minutes.

Now it's one thing to occassionally rip on a country like the way we rip on the French for being a bunch of pussies when it comes to fighting wars. It's quite another to rip on a country so much that it gets to the point where children are growing up in a culture in which they think they are supposed to be making fun of it. Shitting on Canada has become so widespread that an entire generation of Americans are growing up on the belief that making fun of Canada is as American as baseball and homemade apple pie.

But it doesn't have to be this way. And it shouldn't. Not when this country is producing a lot of talent in the entertainment industry. If for no other reason here are a few reasons why you shouldn't shit on Canada:

Pamela Anderson
Dan Aykroyd
Eugene Levy
Alex Trebec
Evangeline Lilly
Nelly Furtado
Steve Nash
Nickleback
Jason Bay
Celine Dion (okay, maybe that was a bad example)
The entire NHL pretty much

And of course WWE wrestlers such as:

Trish Stratus
Edge
Chris Benoit
Chris Jericho
Christian
Bret Hart

If those aren't reasons enough to stop making fun of Canada then I don't know what is. Then again, this is Canada we're talking aboot.

Do you believe in Destiny?

Destiny is not a word that I throw around lightly. In my life there have only been a handful of times when I have used it or heard it used. The first instance was in middle school social studies when talking about the expansion of the U.S. to the West Coast as in Manifest Destiny. Then during the Yankees championship run in the late 1990's when somebody came up with a clever play on the interlocking NY at the end of the word (DestiNY). After that it didn't surface again until a recent trip into a strip club where I got a lap dance from a stripper named Destiny. And now Lost has it as a prominent theme woven intricately into it's plot. Other than those instances it has never come up. Until now that is.

You see I'm not a religious guy at all. I don't believe in God, the idea of Heaven and Hell, reincarnation or any of those other ideas. But there are a lot of things that I do believe in such as fate and karma and most of all, destiny. I don't believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason but I do believe that it's possible for SOME things to. Which is why after the events of this weekend I believe that it is now my destiny to become a writer.

The reasoning for my conviction is that my flight back to New York on Thursday night was delayed five hours when we had to abruptly land in an abandoned airport in Charlestown, South Carolina after a passenger smelt something towards the back of the plane. Ordnarily getting standed in an airport at 2 am would not be the talk of destiny but since I was originaly supposed to be on the 8:30 flight and switched at the last minute I'm lead to believe that I was supposed to be on that flight and that getting stuck at the airport was meant to happen.

If that's the case then it had to be for a reason. Something would have to happen during my layover to make it worthwhile. And sure enough I wound up meeting two great people, Jimmy and Nicole, that I wound up talking to the entire time. I'm usually a shy guy so the fact that I would even talk to strangers is weird in of itself. But talk I did. And what I got out of those conversations was inspiration. The new found inspiration that is to 'follow my heart' as Nicole said and become a writer.

Which is why I won't be terribly upset if I don't get to become a teacher. Now don't get me wrong. I'm still going to pursue a career in education. However, if I can't get a job I'm not going to take it the wrong way. I'm not going to look at it as a slap in the face or as a personal attack on my abilities. And I'm certainly not going to move back to New York a defeated man. Rather, I'm going to look at it as more destiny. As in I was supposed to get rejected so that I could be freed up to move to California and become the world's greatest screenwriter.

And if that does happen I'll know exactly who to thank.

Girlfriend of the Week: Emilie de Ravin

Over the last few weeks my run ins with the Twilight Zone have been well documented but none may be more freakier than the fact that in the week in which I chose Emilie de Ravin from Lost as my girlfriend of the week the inflight movie on my trip to New York was Emilie's one and only full length feature film, The Hill's Have Eyes. Now what are the chances that the one movie she was in would be playing during my only trip back to New York in a week that I was blogging about her? Come on now, something is really going on here.

While I try and figure out what that is enjoy Emilie in all her glory.

Sure there are people and monsters trying to kill them but I could think of worse things than being stranded on a deserted island with this stunner....

Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

As you well know there are the three s' of getting ready: shitting, shaving, and showering. Well I also have the three s' of what I look for in a girl and they are that the girl can't snore or smoke and has to be shorter than me.

My cousin Paige gave birth to a baby girl on Monday and my first thought was, 'yes! Now I'm going to be an Uncle!" And then I realized that when your cousin has a baby you're not an uncle just a second cousin.

Speaking of being an uncle I think it's weird to call relatives by formal prefixes. I've never done it and I don't want my neices and nephews to call me Uncle Craig. That just sounds weird. I prefer that they call me Craigala like everyone else within earshot of my mom does after she says good bye to me in public.

The babies name by the way is Madden, which is probably short for Madeline. However, it's interesting how girls and guys differ in how they look at things. For example, when I heard what the name was I immediately thought of John Madden and football. My sister on the other hand immediately thought of Madden shoes.

I hate when people try to tell me that I'm not sick and that I'm just congested or suffering from allergies. Fuck you. I've got a whole pile of mucus filled tissues that say otherwise. Those people are the same people who think that girls don't fart they pass gas or they don't sweat they perspire. Please. I'm sick when I say I'm sick and that's the bottom line.

I think it's ironic when people say, 'you know what I'm talking about' after every sentence. Because half the time no one knows what they are talking about.

What to talk about freaky coincidences? Well on Tuesday it was 6-6-06 and the Los Angeles Angels played the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

As always the Twilight Zone appeared throughout the week. The weirdest example this week occurred at work when I was editing a book about algorithms just as the talk show host on the radio was talking about Al Gore.

Flying Follies

I left my apartment in Florida to go to the airport at 5:30 pm on Thursday night and arrived in my house on Friday morning at 5:30 am. I don't think that's how long it's supposed to take to go from Florida to New York.

The reason for our delay was that someone smelt an odor in the back of the plane that was making her sick. The pilot took precautionary measures and landed us in an abandoned airfield in Charlestown, South Carolina where we preceeded to spend the next five hours in an international flights holding area. I can't blame the pilot for choosing to be safe rather than sorry but if it was up to me I would have landed, kicked off the one person who smelt something, and proceeded to New York.

The delay may have been a blessing in disguise though because my mom didn't have to go to the airport at 11 pm to pick me up, I got a free round trip ticket for my troubles, and I met two really great people. A New York City doorman named Jimmy, who is a former NYC school teacher, and a South Beach saleswoman named Nicole who shares the same views on face lifts and boob jobs as I do. Talking with the two of them all night has inspired me to 'follow my heart' as Nicole said and 'never give up on my dreams' as Jimmy said.

Aside from making new friends the layover also allowed me time to come up with some comedic observations about flying:

If you can't bring a nail clipper on board why do they sell them in the gift shop?

I don't understand the point of asking someone at check in, "do you have any hazardous materials on you?" Like the person is really going to say, 'yeah, I have a couple of sticks of dynamite strapped to my chest and a shoe bomb on my right foot. Would you like to see?"

I don't know why they load the first class passengers on board first. The last thing in the world I would want if I was in first class would be to be sitting there while everyone else gets on board and gives me that look that says how the fuck did you get into first class.

My favorite pre boarding activity is people watching. First I check everyone out to see who I think might be the most likely terrorist on board. Then I look around to see who in the event of an emergency would be likely to help out. And if you ever see more potential terrorists than able bodied peopel it's time to switch flights.

I think it's pointless when they say that you can undo your seatbelt and move around the cabin. Um, newsflash assholes. There's no where to fucking move to. Where am I going? To the piano bar on the upper deck? Or maybe I thought I would stretch my legs on the indoor track.

Flights these days are high tec coming equipped with 30+ channels of DirectTV. However, when you're flying at 3 am there's nothing on! So, when I finally got back in the air last night I was able to watch Wings on A&E. Great, after spending 9 hours in an airport I get to watch a tv show about an airport.

Greatness Returns!

Timing is everything in life or at least that's what I say everytime I meet a girl that says she's not looking for a relationship only to find out that she started seeing someone else the next day. Which is why it's only fitting that just two weeks after Lost ended I've been reenergized with the return of three of my other favorite shows.

Returning first on MTV was the Real World/Road Rules Challenge which has run contestants through a Gauntlet and thrown others into an Inferno over the last few years. In this year's installment they have pulled a little bit of a twist taking the returning castmates and pairing them up with a whole new cast of fresh meat. Each alumni member now has a random person as their teammate and together they have to compete in two man teams to try and win $250,000. Personally, I would have preferred to see a repeat of last year's format or even a throwback to the original Real World vs. Road Rules format but this new twist is okay by me as well since it means that several new hotties have been introduced. And the casting department at MTV has certainly done a good job this time around with the likes of Casey, Ev, and Diem as proof of that.

Up next and debuting tonight as a matter of fact is the return of hardcore wrestling as the WWE brings back ECW as a brand several years after buying them out. I know it's not going to be the same as when it was a relatively unknown promotion based out of New York and Philadelphia with a cult like following. And if anyone can fuck this up, it's Vince McMahon and the WWE, who have already given the world the XFL. But I'm holding out hope that this brand can hold it's own and perhaps force the WWE to improve their own product through competition albeit under the pretense that the WWE is technically competing against itself and ultimately cannot lose.

And finally and probably most importantly this Sunday marks the return of Entourage on HBO. With the Sopranos sucking more than Ryan Seacrest in a gay bar HBO needs Entourage to carry it's ratings this summer. And with the success of its first two seasons behind it the suits at HBO would be smart to continue renewing this show for the forseeable future. With a great cast, original writing, and the best asshole on tv it doesn't get anybody than this. Except for Lost of course.

Craig's Lists: Awkward Situations, Part 2

Last July I posted a list of awkward situations. I thought I had come up with most of the big ones but over the last few weeks I've begun to realize just how wrong I was. As such, here's a look at the original list with my latest additions:

The original list -

1. Trying to parallel park with someone sitting in the car behind where you'll wind up.

2. Having the sniffles or a cough during a big test.

3. Having your phone ring during an important meeting. Doubly awkward if it's set to a Kelly Clarkson ring tone.

4. A news caster waiting for an interviewee to say goodbye on tape delay so that they can move on but the interviewee just sitting there not knowing what to say.

5. Elevator ride after someone just ran for the elevator and you didn't try to hold it open for them.

6. Sitting in a room with someone else's friend after the mutual friend leaves the two of you alone.

7. Farting in front of strangers while in an enclosed area. (This also makes the Craigs list for funniest situational moments.)

8. Being on a date with nothing to talk about.

9. Going to a strip club and getting a lap dance from somebody you went to high school with.

10. Yelling at somebody in a fit of road rage and then being stuck next to that person at a red light.

11. While at Blockbuster having the clerk announce to everyone within ear shout that your rental of "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" is due back on Thursday.

12. Having to empty the contents of your carry on bag for everyone to see during a random security check at the airport. Doubly awkward if said contents include porno magazines, condoms, or sex toys.

And now for the new additions -

13. Getting off an elevator on the wrong floor and then having to get back on feeling like a jackass.

14. When somebody calls you by the wrong name and since you don't want the person to feel embarrassed you don't say anything and they just continue to call you by the wrong name for as long as you know them.

15. When you say something like, "I hate everything about Disney World." And the person you're talking to responds by saying, "I work at Disney World."

16. Being at a comedy club with somebody that you just started seeing and a comedian asks if there are any couples in the crowd and neither of you are sure if you should raise your hand or not.

17. When your parents meet your boyfriend/girlfriend's parents for the first time and alcohol is not involved.

18. When you call someone sir or maam and they're like, "what did you just call me?"

19. When you walk in on someone when they are masturbating.

20. When you are trying to avoid someone and they know that you are trying to avoid them and you know that they know.

21. When you are dancing like no one is watching and then realize that someone is watching.

Shame(s) on You: Whole Lotta Shame

Could just be my sexual frustration talking but I'm mad at the world and need to take out my frustration on someone and these are the lucky bastards this time around:

1. People who got upset at Lastings Milledge - Give me a break and get off your high horse. If you were upset that a baseball player slapped high fives with fans on his way out to his position in between innings after hitting a homerun then you need to have that stick surgically removed from your ass. What he did was not showing up the other team. What he did was embracing the fans.

Showing up the other team would be standing at home plate and admiring the flight of the ball. Or perhaps flipping the bat and making a gesture as he rounded first base. Manny Ramirez for one shows up the other team almost every time he steps to the plate. And yet we don't take offense to that. Nor do we take offense every single time a player gets called out of his dugout for a curtain call. Apparently you can admire homeruns and come out for applause during the next batter's at bat but the one thing you can't do is shake hands with fans IN BETWEEN INNINGS. It's not like he pulled a Cal Ripken and did a victory lap during the game. It was in between innings.

Give the guy a break. He was just leaving a Lastings impression with the fans. Perhaps it will become his signature thing the way Sammy Sosa used to run out to the outfield. Sports need more people like Milledge and more fan friendly traditions like the Lambau Leap. What they don't need are unwritten rules and old time baseball traditionalists who don't know a good thing when it hits them over the head.

2. The suits at ESPN who decided that Roger Clemens pitching in a Single A baseball game was worthy of being televised over regular programming - Who are you to tell me what I want to watch. You decided to televise it because apparently there's a huge national interest in it. Well I think that there's only a huge national interest in it because you keep televising it.

This reminds me of when LeBron James' high school basketball games were being televised. Someone needs to draw a line of good taste and make sure that these executives don't cross it. Because I for one am sick and tired of being told what to watch.

3. Everything else - I could go on all day but since nobody wants to hear about yet another jewish guy complaining abou yet another thing I'll stop right here. But not before I give literal shout outs to FX for running a contest without any prize money, the State of Florida for always making me sick, and the executives at ABC for not making Lost a daily soap opera.

But on the bright side at least Entourage is back on Sunday!

Fwd: Brain Cramps

I'm always saying crazy things that make you shake your head. One of the best things that was ever said to me was by today's birthday girl, Leigh, who once said, "Craig, you make my head hurt." So, in honor of Leigh on her birthday here are some famous brain cramps as forwarded to me by my Aunt Giselle last week. Enjoy:

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kid all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."

--Mariah Carey

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life,"

--Brooke Shields

"I''ve never had major knee surgery on any other par of my body,"

--Winston Bennett

"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country," --Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC

"Half this game is ninety percent mental."

--Philadelphia Phillies manager, Danny Ozark

"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."

--Dan Quayle

"The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman Einstein." -

-Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback & sports analyst

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."

--Keppel Enderbery

"Your food stamps will be stopped effective March 1992 because we received notice that you passed away. May God bless you. You may reapply if there is a change in your circumstances."

--Department of Social Services, Greenville, South Carolina

Girlfriend of the Week: Evangeline Lilly

I bet you were all wondering what I was going to blog about now that Lost is over. Well, the answer is: Lost. That's because over the next few weeks I'm going to choose my favorite castaways as my girlfriends of the week.

Up first is the lead actress on the show, Evangeline Lilly, who plays Kate, a former convict who finds herself in the middle of a love triangle between Jack, the the good guy doctor, and Sawyer, the bad guy con artist. All this while actually dating a third character, Charlie, in real life. The weird part about that is that Jack's name on Party of Five was Charlie. (Real name, Matthew Fox) Confused?

Well you should be. This is Lost we're talking about after all.


Coming next week: Emilie de Ravin.

The infamous love triangle of lost....

The best thing to come out of Canada since Alex Trebek....

Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

I know this is going to sound crazy but I think that when I wear sunglasses it affects my hearing. My theory is that when you have one of your senses taken away from you one of your other senses will be enhanced. In my case that's having really bad eyesight on a day to day basis. What that does is enhance my hearing. However, when I wear sunglasses my eyesight gets better and as a result my hearing gets worse.

When talking on the phone why do people say I'll let you go when it's really them who want to go?

Is it me or is the prerequisite for having a hit song having the word 'pieces' in it? Seriously I think that word is in more songs than Michael Jackson is in punchlines to jokes.

I'm thinking about posting an annoying Myspace bulletin telling people to stop posting annoying Myspace bulletins.

I think that everyone is really nine months older than they really are if you include the time they are in the womb. Which means that in 2 months I'm going to be 25!

Stuff magazine had the line of the week for making a Wanted Poster for Howie Mandel that said, "wanted for: bring crappy game shows back to prime time, cavorting with a mysterios 'banker' and single-handedly resurrecting the gay genie look."

Do you think that there is someone out there who is so homophobic that they would refuse to eat a bowl of Pasta e Fagioli?

Weekly Twilight Zone Update

If you still don't believe that I've been living in the Twilight Zone the last few months these examples will surely change your mind:

Tuesday at work I was wondering when the leading vote getters for the MLB all star game would be announced and sure enough the tallies were released later that night. Come on now, what are the odds that something as random as MLB all star game voting totals would get announced on the same day that I was thinking about it? Especially when it's not something that I have ever thought of before nor ever will think of again.

Over the weekend there were two instances when of all things the movie Wayne's World came up in conversation. First on Friday night with Brian and then on Monday at lunch with Tommy, Justin, Melanie, and Angie. Of course that could only mean one thing. And as was to be expected it was on HBO on Wednesday night. What a movie that's over ten years old would be doing on HBO on a random weeknight in 2006 is beyond me. But certainly not beyond the Twilight Zone.

Sunday on the way to Clearwater beach we played the game Twenty Questions. Which by the way is probably the first time in my life that I have ever played it. Which could only mean one thing. That there would be a twenty questions reference at some point this week. And it occurred Tuesday at work while listening to a Dane Cook comedy rant on iTunes. Which is doubly eerie since Brian and I are writing a movie and we want to have Dane Cook play one of the lead roles.

During the week I was reminscing with Brian and we were talking about the time he and Russell jumped out of my car to scare me and Katie. Well, Thursday night on the Daily Show Jon Stewart made a joke about NSA wire tapping saying in his President Bush voice that wire tapping isn't like peeking in the window while your sister is getting changed. Rather it's more like hiding in your car and jumping out at you when you enter it.

And lastly I was thinking about the Big Bang Theory and the origins of the Universe over the weekend because I'm weird like that and then at work on Wednesday and Thursday I came across two scientific textbooks covering the Big Bang Theory. Now I usually think about things like the Big Bang Theory but it had been a while since the last time I did so the fact that I would come across it at work just days after I started thinking about it again is what blows my mind. Hey, at least something of mine is getting blown these days.

Hurricane Season Is Here!

Hurricane season is officially upon us and that can only mean one thing: I just shitted myself. Now I'm not worried about the devastating affects that Mother Nature can stir up. Sustained winds of 150 mph, flash floods, and storm surges are like a walk in the park to me. I could care less about that stuff or potential damage to my car, apartment, and personal affects.

Rather there are two things that I'm worried about:

1. Having a hurricane knock out the power and take out my ability to blog. Now that would be a tragedy if I ever saw one. After blogging for over one year straight I may finally miss a day and that is unacceptable. So much so that I'm actually thinking about moving back to New York before the first hurricane hits landfall this summer.

2. Having a hurricane cancel softball games. This could happen in one of two ways. Either rainbands from a distant hurricane cause the cancellation of any one game. Or a hurricane that hits Broward County damages the fields and cancels the whole season. Now that would truly be disastrous since that's my only chance to meet girls right now. And without softball I would have to rejoin Jdate. And we just can't have that.