Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

After watching the NBA Finals, I don't think that Dallas Mavericks forward Dirk Nowitzki is capable of moving forward. I mean the man even fades away during dunks. During dunks! How pathetic is that? After watching him play I'm willing to bet that he can't even swim forward. He's probably only capable of doing a dead man's float. And during sex he probably can't even do it in the missionary position. Just reverse cowgirl while he lays on his back.

I wonder what would happen if I go to Taco Bell and order a Nacho Libre?

Hugh Jackman really missed the boat. With a name like that he should have entered porn.

How is Playboy magazine considered pornography but an anatomy textbook is not? Have you ever seen how graphic those books are?

After listening to comedy on iTunes the last few weeks all I have to say is that Dennis Miller sucks. But that's just my opinion. I could be wrong.

The thing that I don't understand about Islam is this belief that you get 72 virgins if you die as a Martyr. I guess it's supposed to be motivation for people to become martyrs but if that's the case wouldn't it make more sense to say that you get 72 whores? I mean wouldn't people prefer to spend the rest of eternity with nasty sluts who will do anything they want rather than with a bunch of virgins who are inexperienced and don't know what they're doing?

I hate when peole say 'if I may' after making a statement. As if someone is actually going to reply 'no you may not'. And if someone did say that how would that person respond?