Week in Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

Did anybody see that story this week about Nomar Garciaparra jumping into Boston Harbor to save two people who were drowning? Earlier this year, AROD pulled back a little boy who was about to get hit by a car on Newbury Street in Boston. So that begs the question: What's with former or almost were Red Sox shortstops and saving people's lives? And do all major league shortstops double as heroes and crime fighters? You would think that if they did they would at least have the ability to also hit in the clutch. What's up with that?

Why does everyone have to work on Columbus Day? I thought it was a national holiday. What's next, no more casual fridays? In theory, I can handle having to work on non secular holidays but if they ever take away my jeans and polo shirts I'm putting my foot down.

I finally found someone who watches tv more than me: a tv critic.

Is it any coincidence that I lost 5 pounds in the same week that I trimmed my chest hair?

This new Craig thing isn't working out so well. I'm so well organized now that I can't find anything. I was looking all over my room for my jacket until I realized it was in the closet. I couldn't find the money my mom gave me to go food shopping until I stumbled across it, get this, in my wallet. In a cruel twist of irony I became so organized so quickly that I still can't find anything because I forgot where I put it.

Being single sucks. If you're married you get two incomes and tax breaks. But if you're single you don't get any of those things plus there are some things you can't wear since you don't have anybody in the house to close those hard to reach buttons or if you're a girl no one to zip closed your dress. Don't you think it should be the other way around and you should have more advantages if you're single. After all, there should be some things to make up for the fact that you're not getting any ass.

Collared shirts are alot like straight jackets. They have so many buttons that once they're on you can't get them off.

This just in: Brian Berkowicz isn't funny.

How come I refer to my mom's sister as Aunt Judy but she only calls me Craig and not Nephew Craig?

I think that Jon Stewart has replaced Jerry Seinfeld as the top Jew in showbiz.

The best thing about being Jewish is that I get to say things like top Jew without it sounding racist.

The funny thing about fighting a flood is that while doing so you can only think of two things: consuming a cold glass of H20 and taking a shower, two things ironically dealing with water.

Can you hear me now?