Even More Things You May Have Missed

I really hated going to physical therapy for my back. And not because it was time consuming, or painful. Rather because it was obscenely embarrassing every time I went. For those of you not in the know, the first part of my treatment was electric stimulation for my back. All I had to do was left up my shirt, have a pad applied (sometimes have it taped down so that it would stay in place), and then take a nap for twenty minutes while I was massaged. Sounds easy enough.

Except for the part where I lift up my shirt. Because in doing so I revealed a horrifying sight to the PT assistants. A sight like nothing they had ever seen before. And a sight that they felt like they had to share with everyone else in the office. Just picture an Asian girl shouting to her friend, "You come here. You need to see this. (laughter) You come here now!!" Or my personal favorite, "we're gonna need more tape!!!"

It's no secret that I hate bugs, vermins, creepy crawlers, etc. all. I did after all have to have my friend Heidi throw out the mouse traps that got used up in my apartment in college because I was afraid to go near them. So it should come as no surprise that while living in Florida I was afraid to go into my kitchen when there was a little baby lizard in there. Not even a full grown lizard mind you. But a little tiny lizard that was so small that you could barely even put it in your hand without it falling through your fingers. Not going into the kitchen is one thing. Asking your roommate to pour you a glass of Orange Juice is quite another.

I had a massive crush on this girl all through elementary school. Nothing ever came of it, partly because her parents wouldn't let her date at the time, and more likely because it's me we're talking about. I haven't seen this girl in years but still held out hope that fate would one day reunite us. Unfortunately for me my timing sucks. For this girl moved five minutes away from my apartment in Florida!!!! 2 weeks after I moved back to NY!!! And not only that but her roommate is this other girl that I had a massive crush on during elementary school!!!! And to make matters worse the two of them went on a double date with my former roommate and my other friend, Oren!!!!!!!!!! I should have never moved back to NY. First the car accident and now this. And I think this may be worse. Because you can fix a broken car. And you can treat a back injury. But you can never heal a broken heart.

****UPDATE*****

I'm heading down to Florida next weekend to visit my old stomping grounds. I figured that since I'm down there it would be cool if I could get together with these two girls and catch up on old times. And since they've already met my friends it would make a group hangout go very smoothly. So I emailed the girl who had moved down there to see if she wanted to kayaking with us on Saturday afternoon. And what she said shocked me. I could have taken rejection. But not what followed.

For she said and I quote, "I have no idea what you're talking about. Who is Oren? I've been living in DC for the last four years!!"

Turns out that the entire thing was an elaborate hoax. Oren never ran into this girl at the mall. There was no double date or other times that they hung out. For the last six months I've been under the belief that the two loves of my life were living together a few minutes away from where I just was. And the whole time I was kicking myself over it. And it never happened.

A part of me wants to tip my hat to Oren and Brian for pulling off the greatest prank of all time. But another part of me never wants to talk to either of them ever again. And that's the part that's winning out right now.