From A to Z

If you need to get caught up on what's being talked about in the world of sports, entertainment, science, and politics then you've come to the right place. Throw in a few updates about my personal life and you have some food for thought 26 different ways.

"American" - First came American Idol. Now American Inventor. Just wondering but is Simon Cowell even physically capable of creating a tv show that doesn't include the word American in it?

Big Love - Finally a tv show that I can relate to. Juggling three women at one time isn't easy but trust me it can be done. Having a wider computer screen helps.

Colbert Report - Is there a bigger ego maniac on tv today than Colbert? Sure he has his own show and should be happy about that but what rubs me the wrong way is how self promoting he is. In fact, if the giant self potrait hanging in the studio doesn't bother you then the way he introduces guests should. On most shows like the Tonight Show a guest will get introduced by the host and walk out on stage to audience applause. On the Colbert Report the guess is already sitting in an adjacent lounge and Colbert walks over to them, pandering to the crowd along the way. Taking the attention away from the guest and putting it onto himself in this shameless self promotion tactic takes away from what is otherwise a pretty funny show.

Deal or New Deal - Please don't tell me that you like this piece of crap. In a lame attempt at improving declining ratings NBC has gone the game show route ala Who Wants To Be a Millionaire and imported this hack job from Brittain. It has no redeeming value whatsoever, not even the 30 or so hot girls that they feature. There is absolutely no reason to watch since every contestant is guaranteed to win money. The only question is how much. Why should I care that Joe Smith has to decide between winning $10,000 or $500,000. Puhlease. Now if there was a penalty for picking the wrong suitcase, like getting lowered over a shark invested container, then maybe I would watch. But even then, probably not.

Espn360 - It might be overkill but it's still pretty cool. In an attempt to prove how effectively they can cover a big event ESPN unvealed 360 during a Duke/UNC game two weeks ago. Basically what it means is that they will cover an event live through all of their mediums which in this case included pre and post game shows, actual game coverage, espnradio, espnnews, sportscenter, college game day, and ESPNU.

Football saved - Coach potatoes and armchair quarterbacks rejoice! Football was saved from salary cap hell after the owners agreed to a new collective bargaining agreement at the last minute. Since then Terrell Owens was cut, and Daunte Culpepper traded and free agency has only just begun.

Gauntlet - Is there a better reality show out there than MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge the Gauntlet? The ratings may say Survivor but I say the Gauntlet, especially this year, with some of the hotties on the Rookie team tearing it up. Although I must admit that some of these thirtysomething has beens still trying to hold onto their mid 1990's fame really should get a life.

Hillary vs. McCain - Early indications point to former POW McCain taking on the first female presedential candidate in history, Clinton. Should be a great election but I have a feeling that McCain could win rather easily.

Indecesion - Will I move to Florida? Or won't I. Will I move to Florida or won't I?

Joes vs. Pros - Spike's new reality show sounded promising but it's not going to be nearly as cool as it could have been. Instead of someone like me taking on someone like LeBron James in a one on one game to 11 it'll probably just be a game of horse. Batting practice against John Rocker is another segment. Lame.

Knicks - It's almost as if they are the Washington Generals and the rest of the NBA are the Harlem Globetrotters. Are they even going to try and win anymore?

Lost theories - My latest one involves Time Travel. How else do you explain how a modern washing machine was found in a 1970's era decontamination bunker or how someone got straned on the island via hot air balloon. Throw in a beached slavery ship and the modern day castaways listening to old time music and it would appear that not everything on the Island fits perfectly into a timeline. While the lostsies lived in modern times they may have crashed onto an Island that's either in the past, present, future, or all three at different times. Make sense?

March Madness - Well it's that time of year again. Time to waste $20 entering your office pool just so that you can lose to Donna in accounting who made picks based on which team's uniform colors she liked better.

Nick and Jessica - America's favorite couple is now on the outs and Nick wasted little time in moving on. Reportedly to 19 year old Kristin Cavaleiri of Laguna Beach fame who if you remember was picked by me a few weeks ago to be the break out star of 2006. Thank you.

Oragami - Microsoft's lastest toy is similar to other products on the market in that Sean Gordon probably already has one. For the rest of us I think we can wait five years for it to become more affordable after Microsoft unveils Oragami version 6.0.

Ports deal - Maybe I've read one too many Dirk Pitt novels but that deal was a disaster waiting to happen. Perhaps that's a racist thing to say since not all Arabs are terrorists but nonetheless there was no way, racism or no racism, that Congress could have let that deal go through. It was just too risky. So I'm glad that a Congress that has done absolutely nothing for 6 years finally did something when it mattered the most. Now let's just hope that the ports get returned to a U.S. entity as promised without further incident.

Qdoba - I've never had it but everyone's raving about it. Darren says it's 10x better than Taco Bell. Uh oh, Brian, are you going to let them talk shit about your baby like that?

Rowdy Irishmen - T minus 3 days and counting until St. Patrick's Day aka excuse to get shitfaced day. I'll be hiding in my basement so as to avoid getting my ass kicked in a bar fight after explaining to some guy named O'Toole that my last name is Shames and not Shamus.

Spore - One part Sims, one part Star Wars, one part ass kicking computer game. Basically, the concept is that you start out as a microscopic organism and watch as you develop all the way into a fully functioning planet. From there you can travel across the 'galaxy' to other users' planets and trade with them or attack them. Could there be anything cooler than being the ruler of the entire universe from the comfort of your parent's basement? Check it out at www.spore.com.

The World Baseball Classic - Missing some star power but Bud Selig could not be happier with the level of play and especially the level of enthusiam from fans in the stands and amongst the players. Especially in the Caribbean where baseball is a way of life. This definitely looks like a keeper along with the wild card and interleague play.

Underwear modeling - I just have to give Russell the Muscle a shout out for being brave enough, er, rather stupid enough to walk around Times Square in his underwear on Saturday to try and make it onto the Tyra Banks show. Russell, you are truly one of a kind.

V is for Vendetta - Finally a movie worth paying $10 to go see. Or at least I hope so. But with Natalie Portman starring in it, and the brains behind the Matrix trilogy writing it, I'm pretty sure it'll be a blockbuster hit.

Wild N' Out - Is there a better comedy show out there? I don't think so.

XMen - With the third movie coming out soon it is definitely time to fuck some shit up.

Yankees - The pitching is questionable but if everything falls into place they could be looking at their 27th championship this year.

Zoey 101 - With all this talk about Brittany being a bad mom and Kevin a deadbeat dad everyone has overlooked the fact that Jamie Lynn has her own tv show and could be even more talented than Britt. Just remember that you heard it here first.