My Bad

I would like to take the following time to apologize to the players, coaches, fans, and boosters of the following men's college basketball programs: UCONN Huskies, Memphis Tigers, Boston College Eagles and Texas Longhorns.

If it wasn't for me talking shit this weekend to my good friend Brian all of you would have reached the Final Four. Instead LSU, Florida, UCLA, and George fucking Mason made it. Nothing against those teams but they weren't supposed to be there. The teams I picked were. But unfortunately for them there's something called Karma. And it just kicked me in the ass.

You see for the last four years I've gone head to head with Brian in our 2 man office pool. We both fill out our brackets and whoever winds up accumulating the most points after factoring in victories and bonus points for upsets is the winner. I won the first three years and thought a fourth straight win was all but guaranteed after all of Brian's final four teams were eliminated in the Sweet Sixteen round.

So like any red blooded American I talked all kinds of shit. I mercilessly ripped into him, questioning his manhood amongst other things. I ripped him so bad that undoubtedly he's now curled up somewhere in the fetal position with some hot latina spoon feeding him apple sauce. His friends have probably nicknamed him Linus since it's likely that he's been carrying around a blankie for the last week.

And then a funny thing happened. Every team that he needed to win did in fact win and every team that he needed to lose did in fact lose. So much so that in unprecedented fashion an 11th seeded team, George Mason, knocked off a number 1, UCONN, to reach their first Final Four. That's how you know that my trashtalking actually impacted the outcome of the Final Four. When something that unusual happens you know there's a higher power at work. Damn that Karma.