Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

Gramatically you can have a double negative but can you have a double positive?

There's such a thing as dead weight but is there such a thing as live weight?

I'm still waiting for the day when I see somebody fall through a two way door as they go to push it open at the same time someone else is pulling it open from the other side.

Do you think that if I don't have time to eat a bowl of cereal in the morning that I can just eat a Nestle crunch bar when I get to work and call it even?

Half the time I type lol on instant messenger I find something funny but I'm not literally laughing out loud. How come there's no acronym for what I'm actually doing, like LOTI - laughing on the inside?

Is there a more shameless advertising plug than, "Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle"?

Why do people always run to the store that sold a winning lottery ticket? Chances are pretty good that the next winning ticket will come from anywhere but there. Find out which place hasn't had a winner in the longest time and go there since that's the place that's most due to produce a winner.

The new guy in my office, Robert, had the line of the week when he broke an awkward silence by blurting out, "I wouldn't want to be anybody's love child."

Did you know that the word cake means money? And this whole time I thought it was something you eat on your birthday!

I have a burning desire to take the Wonderlic tests that are given to NFL draft prospects at the scouting combine to test their IQ's. I'm pretty sure that I would dominant. A sample question would be, "what's the 11th month of the year?" Pretty easy stuff. Even I know that the correct answer is October.