Earlier this week one of New York's free daily papers, the Metro, had the greatest headline I have ever seen. Right above an article about President Bush's visit to Pakistan was the headline, "Jessica Alba Still Not Naked."
It's not just that they said it. It's the way that they said it. So seriously, as if this was some kind of late breaking political development. Of course, this is the Metro that we're talking about. Like the Post and the Daily News they're just trying to get you to read their product. But despite that they're usually not a tabloid paper. More of just a collection of wire service reports. The fact that they strayed from their normal routine just to report this is what struck me as funny.
The issue that they were referring to was the fact that Alba appears on this month's Playboy cover. If you walk by a newstand and just catch Alba on the cover you'd think that she was finally derobing. It turns out though that she was just put on the cover to promote their article on the 25 hottest celebrities. She's not actually their playmate for the month so it's somewhat of false advertising on their part. As a result she's suing them for using pictures of her without her permission and portraying her in a way that she wasn't comfortable with.
Not that I can blame her. I wouldn't want somebody to use a picture of me in a bikini without my permission either. But my advice to Jessica would be to spend less time filing lawsuits against Hugh Heffner and more time finding a new agent. After all, don't you think it's time you got out of a leotard and superhero costume and wrapped your 'Idol Hands' around an Oscar?
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