Week In Review

Random thoughts from the last week:

Brian M had the corny joke of the week when he said, "girls that have big tits work in hooters; girls who have only one leg work in IHOP."

Earlier this week the Islanders' locker rooms were flooded out by a busted sewer pipe that poured raw sewage into the Nassau Coliseum. This is nothing new as the Islanders have stunk for years.

It's ironic that the big bouncer who killed Imette St. Julien was named Darryl Littlejohn. There's nothing little about him. He's like 6'2'', 250.

Apparently scientists have found ice on one of Saturn's moons. I hate to break it to them but if ice on a round surface constitutues extraterrestial life than there are aliens living in my balls every morning.

If you're like me and filled out your NCAA brackets according to whose mascot would win in a fight you're probably not doing too well.

Further proof that I'm weird: last weekend the guy in Maggie Moo's said that he has never in his life heard of anyone that ordered vanilla ice cream with gummy bears and kit kats. Hey, is it my fault that I have the diet of a pregnant woman?

Further proof that New Yorkers have seen it all: on Thursday a bunch of people dressed as angels got on the subway and nobody even bothered to look up.

I heard that NBC is going to create a new reality show called Meal or No Meal in which people from Ethiopa pick suitcases filled with food not money and then have to decide between taking the goat or risking it all for the year's supply of rice.

I went Thursday after work to check out an apartment on the east side for my sister. She gave me a list of questions to ask about the nuances of the space but I thought it would be better to ask some of my own questions. Such as whether or not the apartment was haunted by aparations. I then had the nerve to ask this girl if the scented candles she had lit was by choice or by design to hide any grotesque smells! You should have seen the face this girl made when I asked that. Damn, I'm good.

At jackpot bowling on Saturday night you're supposed to win money if you get a strike when you have colored pins come up in preselected orders. I had colored pins come up in the right spots but unfortunatley they were the wrong colors so it shouldn't have been for any money. But when the host came by and saw that I was about to bowl with a bright pink, 8 pound ball he came up to me and said he'd give me the money if I bowled a strike since he didn't think I could do it with that ball. With everyone laughing at me I bowled a strike! Take that bowling alley attendant!