Brian's Birthday Shoutout

In honor of Malfy's 24th birthday I thought it would be a good idea to come up with a fitting tribute to him blog style. And while I could tell everyone about the time Russell grabbed his crotch in a bar I think a better idea would to be to come up with a list of funny Brian related moments. Enjoy.

You're know you're Brian Malfettone if:

Your best friend can't pronounce your last name after 23 years of practice.

You can recite every word to every episode of the Chappelle show, Reno 911, and Da Ali G show.
You once ate a moth ball.

You're car's hub caps were stolen more than once.

You once drove a car called 'Electric Blue'.

You speed up to slow down.

You like to include your shoulder in every conversation.

You make outlandish claims that you created fantasy baseball.

You own every piece of Nolan Ryan paraphenelia ever made.

You claim to have dunked over people to win a slam dunk contest.

You can recall all your statistics from every PAL game you have ever played....while the game is still going on....and you're dribbling the ball.

You say 'my main man buddrus, buddrus, gali' way more than you should.

Your sports equipment bag has blown away.

You think it's normal to play the outfield with a two sizes too small infielder's glove.

You still think it's funny to give another grown man a wet willie.

You were Bam Margera way before he was.

You are incapable of growing facial or chest hair.

You don't even know what a gym is.

You own a Drazen Petrovic jersey.

You look like a cross between Andy Pettite, Ross from friends, and the Karate Kid.

You think you could have pitched in the Major Leagues.

You know what tape ball is.

You like to fuck shit up.

You stupidly book a flight during the Super Bowl.

You were once body slammed through a laundry basket by yours truly.

You have a tv in your backyard.

You are friends with someone named James Brown.

You have a blog that you have updated three times.

Your nickname is #2.

You have a oedipus complex and only date people with the same name as your mom.

You know somebody who once woke up in a pile of their own shit.

You hear the name Sasha Cohen and think Da Ali G and not women's figure skating.

You claim to have learned Spanish by watching Telemundo.

You are working right now.

You think In Good Company should have won an Academy Award.

You have the World's largest collection of drinks that no one has ever heard of before.