As Brian and my mom haven't pointed out lately I think I may be depressed. I was in denial for a long time, choosing to focus on the little things that made me happy such as fantasy sports and blogging, and not dwelling on the bigger picture depressing aspects of my life such as the fact that I'm unemployed with no job prospects and haven't kissed a girl in five years.
Lately though, I haven't been able to pretend anymore that I'm not depressed. I think what set everything in motion was seeing the, "40 Year Old Virgin" and realizing that in 17 years that's going to be me. I literally started to tear up while watching certain parts of the movie because it hit so close to home.
I don't want to give into the idea that I'm depressed because the next thing you know you're lying in bed, 30 pounds overweight, refusing to get up before 4 in the afternoon. Wait a second, I think I gave into the idea a long time ago.
Regardless I don't want to affirm it and start seeing a therapist or taking medication or even saying to myself, 'look at me I'm depressed'. Because then you start to believe that you really are. And you start making excuses for yourself.
I don't want to do that. I'm committed to turning this thing around. One online dating service at a time. Anybody want to lend me $34.95?
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