Let's Shake On It

I never know what to do when greeting someone. The handshake used to be the standard unit of greeting but now there are so many different variations of it that you never know which one you're going to get back when you extend you hand.

Is it going to be a regular, firm hand shake back? And if so, how firm should it be? For how long should you shake for? Who should initiate the end of the shake? The shaker or the shakee?

What if it's one of those cool testing ones? You know the ones with multiple parts to it that you have to keep up with or everyone's going to know just how uncool you really are. Be careful. You don't want to end with a snap of your fingers when it's really a chest pound or vice versa.

And what about those people that like to lock hands and then give you a quick shoulder to shoulder hug? What if you go to shake hands and instead get pulled into them for a hug. There's nothing more akward than someone trying to give you a handshake hug and you're standing two feet away with your ass out trying to avoid making contact with them.

The only thing worse than the ass out handshake hug is what to do when meeting a female for the first time. Do you give them a kiss on the cheek like you've known them your whole life or do you extend your hand for a handshake? Girls are notoriously bad at handshakes, usually giving you only the tips of their fingers to shake with and then pulling away before you can shake anything so you wind up with one of those akward finger shakes.

The only thing worse than the finger shake is the finger shake when occuring between two men. Who was at fault for missing the hand completely? Was it you or the other guy? And is it worth asking for a redo?

From now I think I'm just going to stick with the head nod when seeing somebody I know.