Fearless Football Predictions: Week 14

Having now reached a deficit too high to even make pedophile jokes about I've decided to stop trying to catch Brian and just see if I can have a perfect week to restore my credibilty as a master football picker. Here's what I'm thinking:

New England over Buffalo: Pathetically the Patriots can clinch the division with a win which is amazing since it'll be their 8th win in week 14. Usually an 8 win team can't clinch until the last week of the season. That's how bad the AFC East has been.

Cincinnatti over Cleveland: If they can beat the Steelers they'll definitely beat the Browns. And they might do it Jim Kelly style. In a no huddle offense for the entire game.

Tennessee over Houston: The only thing more shameful than the Texans trying to lose on purpose was my choke job in the softball playoffs this year. Somehow this might be worse. Normally, this would be the spot where I pick the Texans to win. But sine they're intent on landing Reggie Bush the Titans will come from behind and win in the fourth quarter.

Minnesota over St. Louis: It might be too little too late to make the playoffs but the Vikings should keep winning.

Oakland over the Jets: The highly anticpated, long awaited Lamont Jordan reunion game. Just like most people's high school reunions no one will show up. Not even the Jets.

Chicago over Pittsburgh: Is there room on the bandwagon for one more?

Carolina over Tampa Bay: If I think the Panthers will be in the NFC title game and the Bucs won't I have to pick the Panthers in this spot.

Indy over Jacksonville: The Jaguars have been playing the Colts tough the last few years but there's no way the Colts are losing this year.

Giants over the Eagles: This game could be a stumbling block for the Giants even with the Eagles playing without their big three. But Eli Manning should pull it out in the 4th quarter again.

Washington over Arizona: The Redskins might not be able to make the playoffs but Joe Gibbs will still have them playing hard.

Seattle over San Francisco: The 49ers gave the Seahawks a scare the last time they played. That won't happpen this time.

KC over Dallas: A lot of people will be picking the Cowboys but with the Giants poised to win the NFC East I could see the younger Cowboys folding down the stretch. Plus I really like the Chiefs now that Larry Johnson is the main running back. He's running like a fat guy chasing an ice cream truck.

Denver over Baltimore: The only intrigue will be whether or not Jamal Lewis can gain more than 30 yards rushing. How far he's fallen reminds me the time at Northeastern when I saw former presidential candidate Michael Dukakis rummaging through a garbage can looking for cans of soda to redeem at the supermarket.

San Diego over Miami: See Wednesday's post.

Green Bay over Detroit: Brett Farve's last prime time appearance? Will he go out on top? Will anybody watch?

Atlanta over New Orleans: I actually forgot to pick this game when I originally posted because it's such a foregone conclusion that the Falcons will win.