Random thoughts from the last week:
I'm more self absorbed than a sponge.
If no two snowflakes or fingerprints are alike does that also imply that no two farts smell alike?
How can fruit be out of season? Isn't it in season some where in the world at all times?
How can you have more than one infiniti?
If it's the thought that counts this time of year does that mean that it's okay for you to not do anything if you see someone getting mugged as long as you thought about getting help?
How can a stroke be mild?
If I wear stain resistant pants when it rains out will I still get wet?
Is it me or is Christmas a little anticlimatic? I mean you start out with Christmas eve then open up presents on Christmas morning followed by a festive Christmas day. But by the time Christmas night rolls around everyone's passed out from egg nog and in bed by 10 pm. Shouldn't you end Christmas night with a big blowout, especially since there's no school or work the next day?
I thought video games were supposed to be realistic? Then if that's the case how come there's a commercial for a new NBA game that shows Shaquielle O'Neal hitting a free throw?
Whenever you can't think of something to say try making up a word in Yiddish. It's guaranteed to sound good in any situation. You got that you schmele?
How come Stephen King, Quentin Tarantino, and guys who wear Santa Clause outfits to football games are allowed to walk the streets?
From the NY Daily News horoscope on Thursday: Teach what you know to others and you will have great success. Now that's what I'm talking about. Although I got a fortune cookie once that said you will soon be very rich. I'm still waiting.
Does anybody else have a hard time telling New Hampshire and Rhode Island apart?
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