It's never too early to write to Santa Clause even if you're Jewish and believe in the Chanukah man. Here's a relatively early look at what I hope is in my stocking:
1. TiVo! I sure could have used it last week when the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show aired.
2. DVD's like Wedding Crashers, The War of the Worlds, and the documentary of my life, The 40 Year Old Virgin. Although I'd take anything just to add to my growing collection. But keep in mind when buying DVD's that I don't like good movies that win academy awards. You can take your Rays and Beautiful Minds and shove them Sideways up your you know what. Only corny big budget blockbusters like National Treasure for me.
3. A poster of Brittany Snow. You're never too old to hang posters on your walls. And considering that I still pee at the mini-urinal I'm definitely not too old.
4. Tickets to a Florida Marlins game. After their recent fire sale I should have a great shot at catching a foul ball once I move down to Florida. In fact, I might even have an entire section all to myself. It's going to be great.
5. A Hurricane Survival Kit, i.e. a year's subscription to magazines like Maxim and Sports Illustrated. I know it'll be tempting to get me Highlights but please refrain.
6. Considering that I get my news from Comedy Central I think it would be fitting to finally get Democracy Inaction by Jon Stewart and the writers of the Daily Show. Anybody who can make politics interesting deserves an award. Or at least for me to increase the bottom line of their book sales.
7. A Derek Jeter jersey. The best part about moving to Florida isn't the weather or the girls. It's the fact that I can wear Yankees paraphenelia and not fear for my life. The coveted #2 jersey would top it all off.
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