Hey, guess what? I finally had a perfect week of football picks! A little bit late and albeit in only four games but nonetheless my first perfect week. As I rejoice and do my happy dance here's a belated look back at 2005 through my cynical tunnel vision:
January: I find twenty dollars on the dance floor at a New Year's Eve party and thought that for sure this was a sign that 2k5 was going to be the Year of Shames. Instead of symbolism I get cruel irony.
February: Not wanting to spend Valentine's Day alone I go on a blind Jdate to a coffee shop. I now know why they call them blind dates. It's because the girl you're with is so ugly you go blind.
March: I come off of probation at work and celebrate by running an illegal NCAA tournament pool from my desk. (Not true but sounds good so let's pretend.)
April: Baseball season starts; I draft 24 fantasy baseball teams.
May: I finally attend graduation at Northeastern University; pretend to be Harry Potter while wearing my black gown.
June: Blog is born. Life changes forever.
July: USA celebrates birthday. I celebrate unemployment checks.
August: I go to the beach where I am mistaken for a polar bear that just escaped from the zoo.
September: Well, I can't really remember what happened in September. I must have been drunk for 30 straight days. Yeah, right.
October: I give up only 2 hits and still manage to blow a 5 run lead in the bottom of the 7th inning of the softball playoffs by walking 7 people.
November: I enter therapy to help cope with softball night terrors and witness protection program to get away from unruly softball hecklers.
December: I decide to move to Florida; hope that 2k6 treats me better.
*Coming tomorrow: 2006 Preview
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