Wrestlemania Preview

For all you closet wrestling fans out there here are my Shames-o-matic predictions for the WWE's 22nd annual showcase:

Women's title - Trish Stratus vs. Mickey Jay: Trish has held the title for a long time while the WWE has tried to come up with viable contenders for her. And other than Victoria they didn't have any until Mickey Jay came along. Expect MJ to pull off the upset to shake up the division a little bit.

Lingerie pillow fight - Candace Michelle vs. Torrie Wilson: Battle of former Playboy playmates isn't even worthy of an actual prediction yet alone a spot on the card of this prestigious event. But Michelle is the best bet since she's the one getting a push now.

Raw tag team titles - Kane/Big show vs. Carlito/Chris Masters: This feud has been building for a while and I would anticipate the young guys winning their first titles together since they are really the only team on Raw capable of beating Show and Kane.

Money in the bank ladder match - RVD vs. Shelton Bengjamin vs. Ric Flair vs. Bobby Lashley vs. Fit Finlay vs. Matt Hardy: Six guys, 3 each from Raw and Smackdown, compete in this second annual event to get a world title shot. This match does nothing other than demonstrate the talent disparity between the two shows. Guys like Randy Orton, Chris Benoit, and Rey Mysterio really should have been in this from Smackdown. Without them it's obvious that the winner will be from Raw and the best bet is the ageless Ric Flair since having him go after the world title one last time would make for a good storyline.

Hardcore match - Edge vs. Mic Foley: The rated R superstar should continue his push with a big win over the Hardcore legend. Expect this match to steal the show as it should contain several big bumps, maybe even more than the ladder match considering the talent in that match isn't very nimble.

No holds barred match - HBK vs. Mr. McMahon: I have no idea why Vince is in the ring but the only way he can win is with outside interference. Perhaps in a surprise twist from Brett Hart as revenge for when HBK screwed him over all those years ago.

Casket match - The undertaker vs. Mark Henry: Why Mark Henry is still employed yet in this high profile match I will never know. The Undertaker has an undefeated Wrestlemania streak on the line so don't expect him to lose to Henry this time around.

Handicapped match - Booker T./Sharmell vs. the Boogeyman: This match is going to be even worse than the lingerie pillow fight but might include some funny spots. The Boogeyman should win though to continue his push.

US title - Chris Benoit vs. JBL: JBL has really fallen off since he was world champion losing recently to the Boogeyman in like 2 minutes and then becoming Steve Austin's bitch at Saturday Night's Main Event. Considering that it's surprising that he's even getting a title shot which again just shows how bad smackdown's roster is. Expect Benoit to win easily.

Triple Threat World Title Match - Kurt Angle vs. Randy Orton vs. Rey Mysterio: Should be a very good match with these three guys in the ring at the same time. Orton and Angle could team up against Mysterio making Rey the fan favorite to pull off the upset against all odds. Expect Rey to win avenging Eddie Guerrero's death.

World Title Match - HHH vs. John Cena: The WWE is really hyping this match calling it the most anticipated Wrestlemania match ever. I doubt that but it could be a classic if Cena can rise to HHH's level and match his intensity over twenty minutes. We'll see if the fans warm up to him but HHH should win to take back his throne and set up the rematch for next month's raw only ppv.

* We also could see a Smackdown cruiserweight title match or tag team title match.

** I think we could see the return of Brock Lesnar or Batista at some point.