So, tonight I'm going to see Star Wars, Episode 3, Revenge of the Sith and that's not necessarily a good thing. You just know that on opening weekend the theatre is going to be packed with fanatical fans all dressed like star troopers and that inevitably there will be some 13 year old jack asses who have a light saber battle in the aisle with their cell phones before the movie starts.
But on the bright side if you're ever going to go to a packed theatre to see a movie this would be the one to go to. Being one of 500 nerds is a lot better than going on opening night to see American Pie and being one of 500 rowdy teenagers. At least with the nerds you can leave with high self esteem knowing that you just met 499 people that you are cooler than. Although, they'll probably be thinking the same thing after seeing me.
Either way I'm going to check out Natalie Portman and not the transformation of Annikin into Darth Vader. Speaking of Ms. Portman it turns out that we made out!!! I kid you not. You see, if you can follow my logic, I kissed my ex girlfriend. It's been so long that I don't quite remember it but I assume that it must have happened at least once. Then my ex, according to rumors, hooked up with this guy at college who just so happens to live out in the hamptons and knows Natalie Portman. Supposedly he claims that they kissed, which means that if I kissed my ex and she kissed this ass clown who some how managed to kiss Queen Amidala, then that means, that booyah, I kissed Natalie Portman!!!!
But seriously, I sure would like to go out on a date with Natalie Portman. I'm not saying it would lead to anything but we sure could make a lot of small talk. I mean she's from Syosset on Long Island. I'm from Oceanside on Long Island. She's jewish having been born in Israel. I'm jewish having been born in Brooklyn. She went to school in Boston at Harvard. I went to school in Boston at Northeastern. She's been in a bunch of movies. I've seen a bunch of movies. It would be a great night. And the best part is that another one of my friends has a cousin whose parents met Natalie's parents and got her phone number for their son. He never used it but I bet he still has it. You just don't throw away Natalie Portman's phone number. Now if I could only get him to give it to me....
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1 comment:
Craig.
By this same faultly logic I could claim that you have possibly kissed hundreds of guys.
And whats worse, every one of those guys would have been at least one degree closer in reality that this fabled Natalie Portman make-out session.
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