The Best of Brian

In honor of the continuing celebration of Brian coming up from Florida this weekend to visit I have assembled a list of my favorite Brian moments.

1. Along with Russell hid in the backseat of my car and jumped out at me as I was going to drive Katie home. I was so scared that I screamed like a little girl, threw my keys up in the air, and ran away. I still haven't recovered the 4 years I lost off my life.

2. During a tag team hardcore match in his basement we rehid weapons that Brian M. and Russell originally hid so that when they went to look for them they wouldn't be there. Our sneakery paid off when Russell was held down by Brian and desperately looking for a paddle that he soon realized was hitting him in the ass after I handed it to Brian.

3. While in Atlanta bragged about how he was Captain Atlanta but before the words were out of his mouth he went up on the curb while making a right turn completely negating his assertion.

4. While playing street basketball and football against Jordan Barrow and Jason Vacker created such ballyhoed plays as the fullback play in which I follow his moving pick to get an easy layup and then the gate play in which the quarterback pump fakes once the receiver reaches the neighbor's gate and then throws a long pass.

5. While bored one day in his basement we decided to hold a baseball draft in which we made stacked teams out of the best players in all of baseball. Led to the creation of the inter sport fantasy league and my assertion that I am a fantasy god.

6. After not having a girlfriend throughout high school moves to Florida and morphs into a porn star or so he claims. He also once claimed that he hit a softball 500 feet in gym class so his word carries about as much weight as Mary Kate Olsen does.

7. Once wrote a fan letter to Greg Maddux where he said that Maddux' era was so low that you needed a microscope to see it. Maddux never wrote back, creating an akward moment when Brian would meet Maddux years later through his cousin, former Braves pitcher Jason Marquis.

8. During his stand up comedy debut does a bit where he takes viagra before going to his girlfriends' house leading to his ability to drive with his erection. Routine kills and launches his career.