*** Special Guest Blogger ***

Since everyone's favorite national past time is ripping me and because I'm already tapped out of ideas for this blog, I have decided to create a new feature here on 'I'm a Headcase', where I will import a special guest blogger from time to time, who will mercilessly rip me apart, however they see fit.

Today's special guest blogger is none other than Florida's own, Brian "Shaq Attack" Berkowicz. Brian who writes a comedy newsletter for his softball team similar to 'gamers all access' has instead turned his comedic genius to the topic of my body hair, always a popular subject. Here is his latest masterpiece entitled, "Local Barber Quits the Business".

I'm sad to report that one of the top barbers, Baldwin's very own Boris, has quit the barber shop industry for good. It is reported that he quit due to his failure to execute one of the most impossible hot towel shaves mankind has ever seen. The customer was none other than Oceanside's own, Craig Shames.

Boris was quoted as saying, "This is bullshit. How can you shave someone's chin when their chest hair gets in the way? I'm from Russia so I know hairy people, but this was like trying to cut down a bush with a butter knife. Plus, once I was actually able to reach his face his chest hair would immediately grow back and block me again."

Baldwin resident, Brian Malfettone was traumatized by the incident. "Now who's going to cut my hair and give me compliments? Boris is the only man that ever called me handsome. I also heard Boris now refuses to shave or cut his own hair. So not only does Craig have the ability to make himself hairy, he's a carrier too."

The real question still remains, where will Craig go now to get his hair cut? Craig has been refused by many barbers and is now blacklisted from the industry. He now has a better shot at getting laid by a girl then getting a haircut from a barber.

A week after the incident Craig was walking down the street when all of a sudden he was captured by a dog rescuer. The dog rescuer said, "I couldn't believe that it was a person, I thought it was an all black poodle walking on it's hind legs."

Craig was both offended and enlightened by the experience. As a result, he now goes to the people at Petsmart to get groomed. When reached for a comment he said, "It takes a long time to get groomed but at least I have my dog, Rocky, to keep me company."

If you liked reading about how hairy I am, check out this previous entry from malf's mouth, http://malfsmouth.blogspot.com/2005/05/craig-shames-legend-of-yetti.html