Team Craig

After watching the NBA Draft last night I was inspired to hold a draft of my friends in hopes of building the perfect support staff for me. Here are the results.....

1. Brian 'Shaq Attack' Berkowicz - A no brainer with the #1 pick. This big man can score at will with the ladies. He surely will help out my game.

2. Whitney Bates - Taking Whitney, a former NYU cheerleader, makes perfect sense in this spot as everyone knows that I need a lot of encouragment when playing sports.

3. Brian Malfettone - By drafting Brian I'll have a steady supply of unoriginal jokes taken from movies and stand up comedians at my dispersal to impress the ladies with.

4. Mike Salvo - Picking Mike as my personal assistant will allow me to one day terminate him creating the inevitable blog headline of, 'Salvo Fired'.

5. Erin Burns - Every great man needs a great woman behind him. As such, I would have taken Leigh Taginski in this spot but Erin would have gotten mad at me so I'll take her instead to avoid conflict.

6. Russell Martello - Every entourage needs that one guy who just makes everyone laugh no matter what he says or does. Russell is that guy.

7. Sean Gordon - I need someone with a sense of style to replace my mom as the person who picks out my outfits in the morning, so Sean is the obvious pick here.

8. Melissa Colasacco - With as many ailments as I think I have, picking a future nurse was imperative.

9. Tommy Gould - This Army LT will be my personal bodyguard and head of security.

10. Kathleen Elizabeth Gallagher - Anybody whose initials spell out KEG is a must on any team.

11. Rob Roll's car - Rob's car has 7 flat screen tvs in it making it a must pickup. I would have drafted Rob as well to be my personal driver but I wanted to live to see my 24th birthday so I passed.

12. Heidi Squires - Being seen in public with a hot girl will make me more attractive to other hot girls. That's where Heidi comes in.

13. Leigh's Cat - Half cat, half racoon Beans is a great conversation piece at dinner parties.

14. Chris - Chris who is the personal driver for a prominent New Jersey politician will drive Rob's car for me and manage my stand up comedy career.

15. William Bezouska - I would have taken Billy higher but I wanted him to sweat it out in the green room as revenge for all the times he threatened to bench me in softball.

So there you have it. Team Craig is now fully assembled and ready to hit the streets in hopes of finding me the first girl that'll talk to me, so that I can marry her.