Yeah, But Can They Spell Taginski?

So I was watching the Scripps National Spelling Bee today (further proof that I have no life) and came up with the great idea to hold a spelling bee of my own involving some of my friends.

All contestants will be given a word and have it used in a sentence before having to spell it. May the best speller win!

Host: First up is Billy Bezouska from Baldwin, NY sponsored by Newsday.

Billy, your word is nonsensical.

'Almost everything Billy says when arguing with Craig is nonsensical.'

Billy: N o n s e n s e i c a l

Host: Sorry Billy that is incorrect, there is no e.

Next up is Brian Berkowicz from Coral Springs, FL sponsored by the Miami Herald.

Brian, your word is chlamydia.

'Brian, it's only a matter of time before you contract chlamydia.'

Brian: oh thats easy, I was just reading about that while I was at the doctor's office getting tested for AIDS. C h l a m i d i a

Host: Sorry Brian it's a y before the d, not an i.

Our next contestant is Leigh Taginski from Boston, MA and sponsored by the Boston Globe.

Leigh, your word is egregious.

'Your obsessions with Disney, Charmed and collecting things in three are egregious to me.'

Leigh: egreechus

Host: I'm sorry that wasn't even close.

Our next contestant, Brian Malfettone, is also from Baldwin, NY and is sponsored by the Baldwin Herald.

Brian your word is fifty.

"Recording artist fifty cent has 3 songs in the top 10.'

Brian: Oh, I know this one. F I T Y. Fity.

Host: I'm sorry Brian, I think you've been watching a little bit too much of the Chappelle show.

And our final contestant hailing from her mom's hotel room in New York, NY and sponsored by the New York Times is Whitney Bates. If Whitney gets this right she wins by default.

Whitney, your word is Ventigimilia.

'Aren't you glad you don't have to pronounce Ventigimilia anymore?'

Whitney: Damn, I hate work. F' work, f' this spelling bee. I'm out.

Host: Well on that note it looks like no one has won today's spelling bee. Wait just a minute, I'm getting word that we have a late entry. Ladies and gentlemen let's welcome to the stage, Craig Shames.

Craig your word is Malfettone.

'Brian Malfettone is one of your best friends and you still don't know how to spell his last name after 23 years.'

Craig: Can I get the place of origin please?

Host: Phil Malfettone, Joanne Malfettone, and a bottle of rum.

Craig: Malfattore.

Host: Pathetic, just pathetic. You guys spell worse than the Yankees play baseball. I haven't seen a display of ineptitude this bad since the time I went roller blading with Erin and Leigh. In fact, the only thing more embarrassing than your spelling is Tommy's dancing.

And since you all spelt your words wrong, I have no choice but to award the spelling bee crown to Brian Berkowicz since he came the closest.

Brian: I just want to thank my mom and dad for all their support over the years. And of course a special shout out goes to Heather. Oh, and Danielle. And Tanya. And Christina. Oh, and I can't forget about Salma and Penelope. And Tiffany. And Heidi. Did I mention Tanya yet? And of course there's Allison, and the twins from the other night and.....